Adam Smyer
@adamsmyer.com
Author of the books Knucklehead (Akashic) and You Can Keep That to Yourself: A Comprehensive List of What Not to Say to Black People, for Well-Intentioned People of Pallor (Akashic). And the odd essay.
Pinned
Adam Smyer
@adamsmyer.com
· Mar 26
EVERYONE: Your manuscript gets going too slowly. You have to grab the reader in the first five words or you're dead.
ALSO EVERYONE: Oh, you MUST read The Verbosity of Picayune Verisimilitude. The first 900 pages suck ass but then it gets REALLY GOOD.
ALSO EVERYONE: Oh, you MUST read The Verbosity of Picayune Verisimilitude. The first 900 pages suck ass but then it gets REALLY GOOD.
When you pull back the shower curtain, are you fully expecting to see the killer standing motionless six inches in front of you, butcher knife held high? You're not? Me neither. I was just testing you.
January 22, 2026 at 2:00 AM
When you pull back the shower curtain, are you fully expecting to see the killer standing motionless six inches in front of you, butcher knife held high? You're not? Me neither. I was just testing you.
OLD HEAD SHIT THAT I DO
-- I paste the actual gif into the chat, not just a link
-- The sight of a car plugged into the wall is hilarious
-- I'll never stop calling him Prince Charles
-- I paste the actual gif into the chat, not just a link
-- The sight of a car plugged into the wall is hilarious
-- I'll never stop calling him Prince Charles
January 18, 2026 at 4:35 PM
OLD HEAD SHIT THAT I DO
-- I paste the actual gif into the chat, not just a link
-- The sight of a car plugged into the wall is hilarious
-- I'll never stop calling him Prince Charles
-- I paste the actual gif into the chat, not just a link
-- The sight of a car plugged into the wall is hilarious
-- I'll never stop calling him Prince Charles
When I am elected, birth records will include the song you were probably conceived to
January 14, 2026 at 2:33 AM
When I am elected, birth records will include the song you were probably conceived to
Everything happens for a reason. To kill you.
January 13, 2026 at 5:19 PM
Everything happens for a reason. To kill you.
Unfortunately, nothing is impossible.
January 13, 2026 at 5:18 PM
Unfortunately, nothing is impossible.
Watching those cops turn tail and haul ass back up the stairs was a revelation. It had never even remotely occurred to me that cops moved in that direction. Mind blown. Forever changed. The only thing I can liken it to is watching the second plane hit.
January 6, 2026 at 4:48 PM
Watching those cops turn tail and haul ass back up the stairs was a revelation. It had never even remotely occurred to me that cops moved in that direction. Mind blown. Forever changed. The only thing I can liken it to is watching the second plane hit.
And you know that motherfucker can cook, too--
ICE OUT OF HARLEM!!!!!!!!!
You already know, let's start 2026 out the right way.
Oh, by the way, whatever happened to the slam to the ground, knee on neck?
HARLEM DOES NOT WANT YOU HERE... OUT!!!!!!!!
You already know, let's start 2026 out the right way.
Oh, by the way, whatever happened to the slam to the ground, knee on neck?
HARLEM DOES NOT WANT YOU HERE... OUT!!!!!!!!
December 31, 2025 at 3:53 AM
And you know that motherfucker can cook, too--
My least favorite type of song is when they are complaining about the price of fame and the song is on their first album
December 29, 2025 at 5:22 PM
My least favorite type of song is when they are complaining about the price of fame and the song is on their first album
"Some specific workplace conditions were tied to amplified risk: working onsite during the pandemic (57% higher risk than telework), inconsistent use of high-filtration respirators (52% higher risk), and regularly commuting by public transportation (58%).
The highest-risk included HCWs, teachers..."
The highest-risk included HCWs, teachers..."
Workplace exposures tied to higher risk of long COVID
www.cidrap.umn.edu
December 19, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Despite my justifiable cynicism, I still woke up this morning like, "Boy! What day is this?" I guess we take our satisfaction where we can.
#EpsteinFiles
#EpsteinFiles
December 19, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Despite my justifiable cynicism, I still woke up this morning like, "Boy! What day is this?" I guess we take our satisfaction where we can.
#EpsteinFiles
#EpsteinFiles
Reposted by Adam Smyer
No disrespect to Quentin Tarantino but 50 Cent is the greatest hater of all time.
December 7, 2025 at 3:56 PM
No disrespect to Quentin Tarantino but 50 Cent is the greatest hater of all time.
Reposted by Adam Smyer
Kamala wanted to help y’all buy your first house but you didn’t like her laugh
December 7, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Kamala wanted to help y’all buy your first house but you didn’t like her laugh
PRO TIP: In documentaries when they tell you the exact date it's never good. So if you are at a party or something and someone yells out the exact date, get the hell out of there.
December 7, 2025 at 2:02 PM
PRO TIP: In documentaries when they tell you the exact date it's never good. So if you are at a party or something and someone yells out the exact date, get the hell out of there.
Reposted by Adam Smyer
I'm at the combination
December 4, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I'm at the combination
Reposted by Adam Smyer
By replacing your morning coffee with green tea you can lose up to 89% of what little joy you have left in your life.
December 2, 2025 at 7:20 AM
By replacing your morning coffee with green tea you can lose up to 89% of what little joy you have left in your life.
Clearly the mediocre have shamelessly banded together to keep what they know they could never earn. My question is, since when? Forever?
December 2, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Clearly the mediocre have shamelessly banded together to keep what they know they could never earn. My question is, since when? Forever?
Reposted by Adam Smyer
nerds did a study on why kissing is good lmao
Animals have been kissing for over 17 million years, a new study suggests.
Kissing has long perplexed evolutionary biologists, given it has no obvious benefit to reproducing or finding food, while carrying the risk of disease transmission.
Kissing has long perplexed evolutionary biologists, given it has no obvious benefit to reproducing or finding food, while carrying the risk of disease transmission.
When was the first kiss? Over 17 million years ago, a study suggests.
Evolutionary biologists don’t know why we kiss — but new research suggests kissing evolved long before humans existed.
www.washingtonpost.com
November 28, 2025 at 8:04 PM
nerds did a study on why kissing is good lmao
Last night I dreamt I went out and all over the place folks were standing in the street eating paint. Blue house paint right out of the can with their fingers. One of them saw me staring and said to me, "Everybody eats paint now. It's great."
November 27, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Last night I dreamt I went out and all over the place folks were standing in the street eating paint. Blue house paint right out of the can with their fingers. One of them saw me staring and said to me, "Everybody eats paint now. It's great."
Reposted by Adam Smyer
It's that time of year
November 22, 2025 at 11:54 AM
It's that time of year
Reposted by Adam Smyer
"...nostalgia is the middle groundbetween knowing that what once was will never be again and the hope for what could—not should—be."
What Once Was: remythequill.com/what-once-was/
My latest piece on wandering, windows, and nostalgia, with recomms for things to read, watch, listen to & play.
What Once Was: remythequill.com/what-once-was/
My latest piece on wandering, windows, and nostalgia, with recomms for things to read, watch, listen to & play.
November 23, 2025 at 3:35 PM
"...nostalgia is the middle groundbetween knowing that what once was will never be again and the hope for what could—not should—be."
What Once Was: remythequill.com/what-once-was/
My latest piece on wandering, windows, and nostalgia, with recomms for things to read, watch, listen to & play.
What Once Was: remythequill.com/what-once-was/
My latest piece on wandering, windows, and nostalgia, with recomms for things to read, watch, listen to & play.
Reposted by Adam Smyer
A pilot died hours after contracting an illness that looked like food poisoning. It was actually an increasingly common allergy to red meat triggered by a tick bite, doctors said in a new study — the first death of its kind associated with the condition.
After a Mysterious Death, a Family’s Quest for Answers Leads to a Tick
A JetBlue pilot’s illness looked like food poisoning, but it was actually an increasingly common tick-borne meat allergy that can be fatal.
nyti.ms
November 20, 2025 at 4:10 PM
A pilot died hours after contracting an illness that looked like food poisoning. It was actually an increasingly common allergy to red meat triggered by a tick bite, doctors said in a new study — the first death of its kind associated with the condition.
