#shit-the-tesla-says
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niedermeyer.online
Tesla being asked about Operational Design Domains! Finally the good shit. Moravy says FSD is operated as a "general solution" on any and all roads, but the robotaxi system in Austin is limited to a mapped geofence. Markey rightly points out that deaths have been blamed on lack of ODD controls!
February 4, 2026 at 4:37 PM
thetesla.bsky.social
Flip those roles when it comes to the stars of each film.

Just one of over 100 quotes from the #shit-the-tesla-says channel on the Scientists Say... Discord.

Eventually we'll be releasing a 'quote of the week' calendar and who knows? Down the line, a 'daily quote' calendar.
February 1, 2026 at 5:36 AM
velvetambassador.bsky.social
If you don't have a condo on Mars, right now, TODAY, you should firesale your Tesla shares and never take a single word Elon says seriously again... unless it's about the Epstein files. He's got the goods on that shit.
January 29, 2026 at 10:56 PM
raechel.dev
five years ago i got top comment on a science channel's new video on youtube with a silly joke.

the sheer amount of pseudoscientific nonsensical mumbling responses i've received since then sometimes scares me. yet i cant bring myself to disable responses. it's fun seeing the nonsense sometimes.
A response to a science joke about Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, says "no machine, no device, no man has ever seen an electro , proton or neutron . so is the table of elements short shit, very likely yes." The punctuation is all over the place, having spaces after *and* before. The statement is also plainly false. A response to a science joke about Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, says "Ah but there lies the quagmire of mainstream sciences (keyword mainstream) manhandling theorie$ into belief$. You wrote this 4y ago. Have you pulled down more veils since? Like, discover ancient Pali, pythagorean retroductive logic and wisdom, the dielectromagnetic field found around all life forms, or that light doesn't travel and that a wave is not a thing, rather, a wave is what a thing does. Just know. They still want us pumping gas while they use Tesla-tech on warships. Come on!" The words "theories" and "beliefs" use the dollar sign instead of the plural marker -s for some reason, possibly to indicate that they are driven by monetary incentives. The reference to "mainstream sciences" and a mysterious "they" who "want us to" do something, with mentions of phylosophical concepts misapplied to scientific phenomena, and the severe misinterpretation of dielectromagnetic effects, are also very telling. A response to a science joke about Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, now gone, talked about religion. A response comment to that one says "Conservative estimates say there are ~2500 gods. Witch [sic] one are you talking about?" and someone else responds to that one "The monotheistic One" (that doesn't really narrow it down much). This was part of a much larger thread which is now mostly gone, where one religious user kept doubting the scientific explanations provided by other people (probably as a troll to anger them). Unfortunately those messages are mostly gone by now.
January 26, 2026 at 4:29 PM
irikotsuwamono.bsky.social
I appreciate you say he has a Prius and not some shit like a Tesla lol. I can see him being horrified by the Cybertruck design

Or if he did for some reason get a Tesla, it would only be before the 2025 election and he would get a bumper sticker that says he got this before we Found Out About Elon
January 7, 2026 at 12:57 AM
girlybojon.bsky.social
He just doesn't make the connection that every nasty thing he says and does (the infamous "salute") impacts the sales of his piece of shit car.

And this post is no different.
EU Tesla sales will drop even more dramatically and he'll find someone else to blame it on besides HIMSELF.
December 14, 2025 at 5:11 PM
davidingram.bsky.social
And meanwhile, Musk says Tesla is three weeks from taking the safety operators out of the Austin robotaxis
Reddit post about canceling Tesla FSD: In the past couple months, FSD has gone to shit. The dangerous hesitation every time it wants to change a lane, missing exits, trying to turn in non turn lanes, randomly shifting from hands free mode to having to jerk the steering wheel every few seconds...the list goes on. Used to gloat about FSD but at this point it makes me look like an idiot on the road and is borderline dangerous with the lane change hesitation. I have tried every driving mode and get the same issue. Because of this i have cancelled my subscription until I hear about some improvements. Just venting here lol.
December 13, 2025 at 7:52 PM
zachretox.bsky.social
Us car people were saying this ten years ago… we were correct that Tesla moved fast and broke a lot of shit so that the real car manufacturers would get it right, but didn’t quite foresee such a dramatic flop (and this says nothing about Musk)
bradmunchen.bsky.social Motorhead @bradmunchen.bsky.social · Nov 26
I don't see how Tesla's Model 3 can survive if Benz can offer an alternative EV this cheap, with this kind of performance, on top of the 15% tariff that it's charged in the US.

Imagine what this model does to Tesla in Europe, where Benz pays no tariffs.
November 27, 2025 at 2:51 PM
xyla.zip
a fact-like image showing a hilarious photo of a phone getting fucking zapped by a stoner tesla coil or some other shit right above the description, which after some hasty editing says "Finland Develops [...] Electricity"
November 27, 2025 at 1:58 AM
jb4nay.bsky.social
Incredible variety.com/2025/digital...
"A lot of these guys are very thin-skinned, and I think the gravest mistake of my career was when I had [Musk's ex- partner] Grimes on my show and she talked about how buff I was, and then I talked about how Tesla was shit," Piker says. "That man has never lived it down." Grimes wasn't exaggerating. Piker is hard to miss with his muscular 6-foot-4 frame. He works out one to two hours a day, a resimen that includes naving hackethall But as election night swung Mamdanis way, Piker wasn't keeping a low profile but toasting the millennial mayor-elect with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez at the Brooklyn Paramount victory party. There he offered no mercy for Cuomo. "What happened? I thought the 'Hasan loves 9/11' was a successful campaign strategy?" he said in a video that ran on his YouTube channel. "Andrew Cuomo, fuck you. Suck my dick. . »
November 14, 2025 at 5:44 PM
thisisme7.bsky.social
I really love that it’s own this shit hole platform of the maniac who now wants $1 trillion pay package from Tesla!
The illustration of the bear the California Republic logo it says the “the bear roar,“ Gavin Newsom
November 5, 2025 at 3:49 PM
senategabe.bsky.social
Ro Khanna never gave a shit about the Epstein files and then suddenly Elon Musk says Trump is in them and starts calling members of Congress about impeaching Trump and lo and behold, he's outfront on the discharge petition with proud Tesla owner, Thomas Massie!
November 3, 2025 at 8:42 AM
pesst.bsky.social
A loud crash from the living room, i jolt out of bed to see what it is: A large hole in my wall, the gore of my house laid all over a red Tesla Model3. A speedrunner emerged from the vehicle with feral movement. With a bat he starts destroying my shit. "What the fuck man!??" I cry. "Hrmm, they didn't build this house too well. I clipped into this wall with little effort" he says while lighting my kitchen table on fire.
October 30, 2025 at 1:57 PM
aussiechris52.bsky.social
Tesla has a product in the market - cars- that are being beaten to death by competition. So space Karen says trust me - our future unproven products (robots, AI) will be great - in a market already dominated by China. Insight from the man who gave us the cybertruck. He can’t design/make shit.
October 23, 2025 at 2:59 PM
perchorin.bsky.social
Anyone ever see this car roaming about town? If so, a single finger salute is the least you can give it.
Screenshot of an Instagram reel showing a red Tesla with Virginia tags (though this was filmed in D.C.) that says “Z Crimea” which is some real Nazi shit.
October 6, 2025 at 11:02 PM
pocketunix.bsky.social
As much as I hate Apple, literally take that back. Do not disrespect the Apple II like that.
Screen shot from an article headline that states; "Tesla Cybertruck Owner Says, "it's a futuristic Chrome-Plated Dumpster designed on an Apple II by a stoned Elon Musk, but requires less maintenance than a goldfish"." Also, that's a fucking ass stretch, bitch. I very highly doubt a vehicle that badly designed requires less maintenance than a goldfish. You can dead ass leave a goldfish in its own filth for 6 months and the mfs dont care as long as you feed them. Something on that fuck ass piece of shit gotta rattle off within the 15 seconds of driving off the lot, the same way its value tanks.
October 6, 2025 at 10:40 AM
nf1nk.bsky.social
My dad (age 75) tells me about all the times his tesla does scary shit in autopilot but still says it is a better driver than he is.

It's not great.
October 2, 2025 at 5:21 PM
wifejackson.bsky.social
Another fine project ⬇️ from asshole Musk. Tesla’s are overpriced shit.

North Bay, ON man says his daughter failed her road test because she didn't use his Tesla's brakes

Electric vehicles, like Teslas, can come to a full stop w/o using the brake pedal. #Tesla #Canada

www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...
An Ontario teen failed her road test in a Tesla. Her dad says it's because she used regenerative braking | CBC News
A man from North Bay, Ont., says his 18-year-old daughter failed her road test for her G driver’s licence after using his Tesla Model Y's regenerative braking to slow down, and she wasn't allowed to c...
www.cbc.ca
September 19, 2025 at 2:10 PM
capnkirk55.bsky.social
I'd believe that given what a total piece of crap Musk is, except ...
I wouldn't believe ANYTHING the legacy-auto-friendly "autonews" says about Tesla, because they lie and make shit up routinely like most other longstanding auto "journalists"

The CARS are STILL REALLY GOOD, despite the LIES
September 11, 2025 at 9:58 PM
gwbiscuit.bsky.social
Now I know where I’m throwing my dog’s poop bags
Black Tesla with NY license plate that says MR MAHA and has a couple MAKE AMERICA HEALTHY AGAIN bumper stickers, supporting RFK Jr. The car of a total piece of shit human being
September 4, 2025 at 3:19 PM
calizaybak.bsky.social
Fortune Air Force bid for Tesla Cybertrucks in target practice symbolizes the ‘evolving’ relationship between the Pentagon and Big Tech, expert says 8 days ago By Sasha Rogelberg Jesse, What the Fuck Are You Talking About Meme where Walter is asking Jesse about some bat shit crazy stupid thing he thinks.
August 18, 2025 at 9:45 PM
cascoinfoundation.org
I cannot describe how much I am dreading going to this place and trying horrifying shit like this.
Chef Eric Greenspan, who is leading the Tesla Diner as head chef, posting a video on X. “@Tesla Diner Tuna Melt. Wild caught, dilly AF, melty@newschoolcheese, buttery bread. Classic quality.” He says. The video he posts says otherwise. A nasty glop of tuna sits in the middle of a slice of white bread, unmelted cheese underneath the tuna. On top of the tuna, only in the middle are three pickle slices. Disgusting.
August 9, 2025 at 1:17 PM
moonmama67.bsky.social
Says the guy with multiple fed contracts and just given a shit ton of stock in Tesla
August 6, 2025 at 10:38 PM
ahungrymouth.bsky.social
going to the tesla diner to shit in the tesla mop bucket. the turbid tesla water erupts into magnesium flames, burning off my entire ass shortly before the floor collapses into a sinkhole. i plummet straight to hell, where everyone says i can't blame a few bad apples
August 1, 2025 at 1:23 AM