Mary, if yr nasty
@yo-mary.bsky.social
Local extrovert draining your social battery
🥲 non sequiturs
🎤 karaoke
🍩 snacks
🦭 lying down
🥶 Minnesota
🥲 non sequiturs
🎤 karaoke
🍩 snacks
🦭 lying down
🥶 Minnesota
Reposted by Mary, if yr nasty
when you lose touch with your male friend for a while, that's called a brolapse
December 11, 2025 at 4:17 AM
when you lose touch with your male friend for a while, that's called a brolapse
It’s been a long time since a random guy flirted with middle-aged me. Thank you, Paul from my bank’s customer service line. You joked that you hope we don’t need to talk again, but damn, I think my automatic payments are gonna “malfunction“ again real soon
December 11, 2025 at 8:31 AM
It’s been a long time since a random guy flirted with middle-aged me. Thank you, Paul from my bank’s customer service line. You joked that you hope we don’t need to talk again, but damn, I think my automatic payments are gonna “malfunction“ again real soon
You know you married a nerd when he fact-checks the portrayal of DnD on Stranger Things and identifies numerous inaccuracies
December 6, 2025 at 4:58 AM
You know you married a nerd when he fact-checks the portrayal of DnD on Stranger Things and identifies numerous inaccuracies
Why do brands think it’s okay to sell $85 throw pillows that only have the design on one side?? What kind of blasphemy is that!
December 4, 2025 at 4:54 AM
Why do brands think it’s okay to sell $85 throw pillows that only have the design on one side?? What kind of blasphemy is that!
Apparently Paul McCartney doesn’t like a partially full stadium.
I walked into the wrong entrance and security said, “Are you a seat filler?”
Nope, just lost. Why would Paul need seat fillers?? C’mon, Minneapolis
I walked into the wrong entrance and security said, “Are you a seat filler?”
Nope, just lost. Why would Paul need seat fillers?? C’mon, Minneapolis
October 18, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Apparently Paul McCartney doesn’t like a partially full stadium.
I walked into the wrong entrance and security said, “Are you a seat filler?”
Nope, just lost. Why would Paul need seat fillers?? C’mon, Minneapolis
I walked into the wrong entrance and security said, “Are you a seat filler?”
Nope, just lost. Why would Paul need seat fillers?? C’mon, Minneapolis
My 8-year-old niece winning a frozen turkey at Bingo tonight: “It’s so incredible!“ 😂
October 17, 2025 at 1:36 AM
My 8-year-old niece winning a frozen turkey at Bingo tonight: “It’s so incredible!“ 😂
Mumford & Sons was fun tonight. What wasn’t fun was realizing halfway through that I’d been drinking out of the water bottle of the stranger next to me
October 10, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Mumford & Sons was fun tonight. What wasn’t fun was realizing halfway through that I’d been drinking out of the water bottle of the stranger next to me
When I’m eating crackers or chips my goal is to find the one covered in so much flavor seasoning, it actually hurts a little to eat. Like, I need a brief moment of violence on my tongue
October 7, 2025 at 2:47 AM
When I’m eating crackers or chips my goal is to find the one covered in so much flavor seasoning, it actually hurts a little to eat. Like, I need a brief moment of violence on my tongue
The idea of going to sleep with no intervention—no eyemask, no earplugs, no nightguard, etc—is so radical to me. Like there are actually people out there raw-dogging sleep every night?! How??
September 28, 2025 at 11:15 AM
The idea of going to sleep with no intervention—no eyemask, no earplugs, no nightguard, etc—is so radical to me. Like there are actually people out there raw-dogging sleep every night?! How??
Earlier today I drove onto I-35 directly into someone’s motorcade, and I didn’t know what to do, so I just kept driving with them until one of the cops started to slowly run me off the road until I fell behind them 🤷♀️
September 28, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Earlier today I drove onto I-35 directly into someone’s motorcade, and I didn’t know what to do, so I just kept driving with them until one of the cops started to slowly run me off the road until I fell behind them 🤷♀️
Someone needs to invent a mattress for stomach-sleepers that’s basically like a large, soft massage table with a hole at the head and some sort of ventilation system for breathing.
I just want to sleep face down — is that too much to ask??
I just want to sleep face down — is that too much to ask??
September 6, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Someone needs to invent a mattress for stomach-sleepers that’s basically like a large, soft massage table with a hole at the head and some sort of ventilation system for breathing.
I just want to sleep face down — is that too much to ask??
I just want to sleep face down — is that too much to ask??
The new Mission Impossible movie is just a highlights reel of all the past movies. It’s a series of never-ending clips. 😐 Why
August 24, 2025 at 2:17 AM
The new Mission Impossible movie is just a highlights reel of all the past movies. It’s a series of never-ending clips. 😐 Why
Daryl Hall’s bio for his performance at the MN State Fair is five paragraphs long, yet never once mentions the word “Oates.”
May you never experience the level of the hatred these man have for each other 😅
May you never experience the level of the hatred these man have for each other 😅
August 20, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Daryl Hall’s bio for his performance at the MN State Fair is five paragraphs long, yet never once mentions the word “Oates.”
May you never experience the level of the hatred these man have for each other 😅
May you never experience the level of the hatred these man have for each other 😅
Reposted by Mary, if yr nasty
You sure about this, Google?
August 9, 2025 at 1:55 AM
You sure about this, Google?
One of the few places you’ll see a longer line for the men’s room than the women’s is a Nine Inch Nails concert. Great show last night. Trent’s still got it 🎸
August 18, 2025 at 5:11 PM
One of the few places you’ll see a longer line for the men’s room than the women’s is a Nine Inch Nails concert. Great show last night. Trent’s still got it 🎸
I don’t think people understand — when you have young sons, you literally have to put your furniture back where it originally was at the end of each day
August 17, 2025 at 3:53 PM
I don’t think people understand — when you have young sons, you literally have to put your furniture back where it originally was at the end of each day
GOSH, IT’S 11:00 PM
BETTER START A PROJECT 😩
BETTER START A PROJECT 😩
August 16, 2025 at 4:09 AM
GOSH, IT’S 11:00 PM
BETTER START A PROJECT 😩
BETTER START A PROJECT 😩
What happened culturally that made us want to rebrand “melting down” as “crashing out”?
August 13, 2025 at 4:36 PM
What happened culturally that made us want to rebrand “melting down” as “crashing out”?
Just answered the phone:
Me: Hello?
Elderly lady: Hi Jody, you know … Bob and I … we’ve had a heart-to-heart. We’ve decided we would like to buy Riley’s school supplies after all.
Me: That is very generous of you. But … you have the wrong phone number.
Her: Oh my 😱
Me: Hello?
Elderly lady: Hi Jody, you know … Bob and I … we’ve had a heart-to-heart. We’ve decided we would like to buy Riley’s school supplies after all.
Me: That is very generous of you. But … you have the wrong phone number.
Her: Oh my 😱
August 3, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Just answered the phone:
Me: Hello?
Elderly lady: Hi Jody, you know … Bob and I … we’ve had a heart-to-heart. We’ve decided we would like to buy Riley’s school supplies after all.
Me: That is very generous of you. But … you have the wrong phone number.
Her: Oh my 😱
Me: Hello?
Elderly lady: Hi Jody, you know … Bob and I … we’ve had a heart-to-heart. We’ve decided we would like to buy Riley’s school supplies after all.
Me: That is very generous of you. But … you have the wrong phone number.
Her: Oh my 😱
I live in fear that there are epic ‘80s power ballads I haven’t yet discovered 😟
July 31, 2025 at 3:48 AM
I live in fear that there are epic ‘80s power ballads I haven’t yet discovered 😟
In every yoga class, I’m afraid I will fart, faint or fall asleep … presumably at different times, but I never rule out a triple whammy
July 29, 2025 at 1:54 AM
In every yoga class, I’m afraid I will fart, faint or fall asleep … presumably at different times, but I never rule out a triple whammy
Is my family the only one that listens to “Feliz Navidad” year round? It’s a real banger among 5-7 year olds
July 27, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Is my family the only one that listens to “Feliz Navidad” year round? It’s a real banger among 5-7 year olds
Reposted by Mary, if yr nasty
I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ - which is so much better
July 16, 2025 at 6:39 AM
I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ - which is so much better
Day 4 of any group trip is when people start to get crabby
July 10, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Day 4 of any group trip is when people start to get crabby
Because of my husband, I now notice every single hawk perched on a street lamp along the highway. They sure love those lamps
July 6, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Because of my husband, I now notice every single hawk perched on a street lamp along the highway. They sure love those lamps