Bond walks into a room. Rando says “Why Mr Bond, I heard you were dead.”

Bond says “Clearly you’ve been listening to the wrong people.”

If you wanna be really meta, add “It must’ve been that other fella.”

THEN MOVE ON END OF FUCKING QUANDRY

Mr Horowitz. Good news . You’ve been commissioned to write a sequel to A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Sorry. Can’t do it. I saw him die.

Lazenby was introduced by him getting cockblocked & saying "This never happened to the other fella" to the audience, Brosnan's reveal was hanging upside down interrupting a guy having a shit, but working out how to do a "New Bond, who dis?" now is a feat beyond the ken of screenwriting's finest!

"Just ignore it and move on" is such an underrated sequel trope & yet we've sat and watched "reboots" like Halloween etc literally do the "we're just ignoring what happened in X,Y,Z films in the series and carrying on", so why the issue now? The continuity stuff was an anchor round the Craig Bonds.

Can't release a fiction book unless you have a pre-approved celeb attached.

Can't get a podcast off the ground unless you have a pre-approved celeb attached.

Can't get a sitcom off the ground without a pre-approved celeb attached.

What a miserably shallow pool of mediocrity this country is.

Oh no wait, I hadn't realised he's already a "children's author" because of fucking course. Had to be one or the other or both.

All in all, it’s no surprise that the only welcome this friendless freak finds extended to him in Soho is in the offices of one of the world’s most famous white supremacist nutters.

Fascinating to break this down and understand what stage of brainworms the Spectatorati are at now.