Psionic Alienation
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ushdubsar.bsky.social
Psionic Alienation
@ushdubsar.bsky.social
700 followers 140 following 1.5K posts
More Future, All Bad.

I'm Curse. I'm the plural host of an unpersoned alien nightmare collective, 199 members. I'm transfem, nonbinary, polyam. I write things, fuck up photographs, and do some music stuff.

Quotes are agreement.

This, that, it/its
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ushdubsar.bsky.social
Tooth agony continues but I found some old writing here you go I will not claim it's good but it is certainly something and it definitely exists do with that what you will
Moving on from this important announcement, yea, even to another, different important announcement: Who among us has not walked with shit in our pants and a GRIN on our face? Who among us has not eaten food three days past it’s use by date? Who among us has not become fascinated by someone else’s WEIRD SEX LIFE and been sent to prison? Those who say “nay, not I!” will be dealt with efficiently and brutally and with a minimum of collateral damage. (The High Inquisitrix takes no responsibility for those purged from reality by mistake. Ye did something, or we wouldn’t have done something to ye. It’s thy fault.) Please await thy disposal calmly so that ye do not disturb the box full of dogs, lest we need to replace the damned things again.
August 10, 2025 at 7:21 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Also just to be clear, I am actually unable to get anything at all without help, it just will not happen
May 8, 2025 at 7:37 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
I wrote something. It is unpleasant. Genuinely consider before you read it.

It is a warning.
Picture the twisted bony hands of suicides reaching out of the mouths of the men writing checks to themselves, the vacant huddled husks of homes slouching sideways into the sinkholes of speculation, the dull filmy eye of a crow stamped under business shoes. They'll tell you you need to learn, to be made to understand, you're the wrong kind of smart, the kind that doesn't know anything, this is for the best. These networks run on teeth and skin and hair, they gamble your blood for winnings of slick bones and mass graves on the poker table of the end, they killed themselves for a taste of your death and they'll kill someone else for another lick, they'll sell your dreams back to you with their names on the by line and watch your children call you disloyal faithless and better off dead, they applaud chains and cheer for bruised ribs, twisted knees, blood flowing from the mouth, they will dance in TV studios while your tomb molders with unpaid bills they'll collect from your friends and family, they are the smiling masks of the great abyss and the parasitic growths in your culture, eating your gifts and turning them into Moloch's paper, sacrificing your ancestors and descendants alike on the altar of their will. They will scoff at every villain you write and invent a new one that could never be put to paper, an adversary so bleak that it can only be real. They are the demon-kings of the future and they will make a shining city on a hill with the pyre of your childhood home to light it when the sun goes black under the veil of their petty hate. You will shit in the mud in which you sleep and be beaten for not cleaning up nice enough and you'll thank them for the kindness. They will shoot your siblings and parents and grandparents in the street and use their bodies for art. They are the serial killers of bloodlines. They are the beating heart of Order At Any Price. What resistance is even enough? The angels are screaming. The bare minimum is everything. It's what they want, it's what they'll take. Is there a line you won't cross? They'll cross every line just to get one over on you. For the satisfaction of laughing at you. For the opportunity to say 'no'. To see you a little frustrated. No price is too great. What resistance can possibly go too far? How is it possible to avoid any act that will stop this? What is the shape of the thing that will survive these circumstances?
February 20, 2025 at 12:46 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Finally edited these up, original is from some days ago, I don't remember how long
One of three edits of a sky photo. It appears to be a sunset under storm clouds hanging low over a mountain, but isn't. It has been given a heavy layer of aggressive edits that make it appear to be digitally painted. Determining what is cloud, what is sky, what is land, and what is noise from edits is almost impossible. One of three edits of a sky photo. It appears to be a sunset, but isn't. It's very low contrast except for the bottom left corner, which is blown-out, overexposed sunset colors. The rest is a haze of purple-grey with heavily light-sculpted clouds softened to indistinct formlessness along the right side. They may be part of the left, as well. One of three edits of a sky photo. It appears to be a sunset, but isn't. The sky is dark and clean, with a strong gradient from off-white to orange-salmon to pink to desaturated violet to deep indigo-black. The clouds along the right side are heavily sculpted by the light. At the top right, an indistinct green-grey haze, perhaps a light leak, intrudes on the frame. The original sky photo. A grey gradient sky is obscured on the right by foreground clouds. Everything is indistinct, greyish. A light leak intrudes at top right.
January 21, 2025 at 2:05 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
This photo of a Chicago hailstorm became the cover of Known Demise - Sick & Cold & Blue, I wrote Collaboration Will Fucking Kill You that's made the rounds here and Twitter before, and I did lyrics synths and vox for Memorrhage - Anyo (featured as Nulldusk Heavy Industries).
A murky, blurry cityscape in blood red haze is beneath a cyan glowing sky filled with falling hail. A heavily sharpened power line cuts across the dividing line like a fracture in glass, touching the top of a water tower in the distance.
December 2, 2024 at 1:10 AM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Last batch
An odd aspect ratio photo of buildings bathed in a grainy orange haze. Some windows appear to be on fire. A hazy brown photo of odd regular wooden structures. The angle and haze makes it hard to guess their size. An abstract photo. At the bottom, trees are in frame, blurred and warped by chromatic aberration. Above that, power lines cross a TV static sky, echoing Neuromancer. Above that, the power lines become blurred and the background gowns green, resembling hair under a microscope. A night time cityscape is bathed in a green haze under amber clouds. It almost looks as though the power is out in swaths.
October 20, 2024 at 6:28 AM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
And more
Curse with a hand over its face, rim-lit. Somehow, everything is colored and shaded static: Curse, the background, everything. A massive red light hovering over a cityscape in darkness. Apocalyptic. Curse, off center, with hair covering its face. Everything is dark and grainy, and bathed in red. Its lips look bruised and purplish in the light. A particularly odd aspect ratio abstract photo. Streaks of purple light streak over a red flecked void. One is particularly bright and iridescent.
October 20, 2024 at 6:22 AM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Here's some other favorite photoedits since I'm doing that now
An aurora over trees eaten by glitch-mold in the shape of camera sensors failing in low light. A blood red haze over a blurred, dull cityscape is capped by a coldly iridescent hailstorm. A thin, heavily sharpened arc of a power line cuts through the lower third, touching the top of a distant water tower. Curse, looking dazed, enwreathed by glitch. The lighting throws aggressive shadows across its face from hair and lips. A thin lunule of its neck is lit. Curse in a nondescript hallway, distorted into a blood-void shape. Some details of its form show through, many do not.
October 20, 2024 at 6:09 AM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
On account of @sineadthefae.bsky.social being one of the few distractions I have from the pain and inspiring me, I am going to post one my favorite pic of me ever, which is NSFW and has in the past been tagged as sexual, but is definitely artistic nudity. Photoedit also mine
Curse topless, wearing a cage choker, a metal-shielded USB cable coiled around the neck, and a heavy duty chain with the Quake logo in steel as a pendant. The pendant hangs between its breasts. Glitchy distortion devours every edge, the room beyond its well-lit body is cloaked in void static, and a soft-focus halo frames the lit side of its head.
October 20, 2024 at 5:43 AM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Last edit tonight. This is very special: I photographed this aurora myself. I was not expecting to do that, but I did. I've been waiting on inspiration to hit me.

Getting the glitch and the ugly low light grain to play nicely with the small bits of detail I did catch with this crappy phone... hard
Photo of a green aurora over some trees. Out of focus, grainy, and off-colored in dim parts. The darkness of the trees has grown some sort of electronic glitch-mold in the shapes of camera sensor patches that failed in the low light.
October 17, 2024 at 7:07 AM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Here's some extras of various vintages. The first one is from tonight, the moon is so bright I got a photo of things using only moonlight! And it's so low quality it looks like an impressionist painting. 2 and 3 I didn't take the original photos of.
October 17, 2024 at 6:24 AM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Another moon picture. With original for reference.
Corrupted abyss watched by abyssopelagic moon Just the moon over the silhouettes of some trees and a building. The camera quality is awful in the low light.
October 17, 2024 at 3:10 AM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Some photos. The alt text is bad because, well, you try and do better.

Reminders of UP Michigan.
The moon gone radioactive and rotten Poor quality aurora photo, camera artifacts apparent Grainfucked storm clouds over dull trees A work light on rancid wood planks, Valley of Defilement inspired
October 16, 2024 at 12:40 AM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Oh I got one of these finally
September 18, 2024 at 2:20 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
If I'm ever not homeless again I need to convince you to play a space game with Violet (headmate). She got Stuff for it before everything burned to the ground recently (cool bug photo included because why not)
September 2, 2024 at 10:29 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Trying to crowdfund, as usual. All the standard shit applies. Not feeling lucky this time. Paypal is dimmekur@gmail.com.
September 2, 2023 at 3:10 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
They get gothier, friend. Witness the Black Beauty.
Seven nearly pitch-black tomatoes, one of which has been cut in half. It looks like a mostly normal tomato past the skin.
August 20, 2023 at 11:29 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
I’ve been out of touch on all my social media. I’m easing my way back to it, but today is a “get food and cigarettes and caffeine” day. That is to say, crowdfunding.

As ever, Dimmekur@gmail.com is my PayPal. Tit pic because maybe someone will throw an extra dollar in for it, who the hell knows.
August 12, 2023 at 5:04 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
I need to crowdfund milk, caffeine, and undetermined Breakfast food for today. PayPal is dimmekur@gmail.com. I’ll include a lewd, maybe boobs will get some attention so I can eat, wake up, etc.
Androgynous nude entity, framed from the midsection up. It’s wearing an elaborate choker and a chain with a pendant resembling the Quake logo. It has long hair and stares down at the viewer with a blank expression. It’s lit from above, and its small breasts with prominent nipples are half-shadowed. Every inch of the image is distorted and glitched in a ghostly haze of dithering and scanlines, though it’s still possible to make out all important details.
July 18, 2023 at 4:38 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
I don’t want to do anything today. Send gluten-free pizza funds. I’m serious. I don’t feel any shame in asking right now, either.

If you want to know what’s up, give me private contact info and I’ll explain, just not my place to publicize. Suffice to say, I’m grieving.
July 15, 2023 at 4:06 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Hooray, it’s attempt to crowdfund my legal addictions time. Caffeine is the big one in this case, but I’m also almost out of cigarettes — caffeine is basic function shit, cigarettes is basically my anti-depressant. (Yes, really.) PayPal is dimmekur@gmail.com. Also in image. Included: boobs.
Abstract alien void in purple, with “PAYPAL: dimmekur@gmail.com” in lower right corner. Undefined void space. Topless androgynous individual with medium length hair stands half-shadowed.
July 12, 2023 at 12:01 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
So, I'm 90% sure that I have celiac disease at this point. Problem: I'm VERY poor. I don't have ANY gluten free food right now. I need to eat today, I have food here, but I'm pretty sure what I have is killing me.

I need to crowdfund different groceries. Paypal is dimmekur@gmail.com.
July 7, 2023 at 4:24 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
July 6, 2023 at 8:58 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
I guess since Twitter self-arsoned, new people might be coming here. Hi new people, I’m the local night terror.
July 1, 2023 at 10:54 PM
ushdubsar.bsky.social
Some more. Special guest: titties. (I genuinely think that’s one of the best photoedits of me, though.)
June 25, 2023 at 9:25 PM