Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires in Exile
@umarf.bsky.social
УКРАЇНСЬКЕ МІНІСТЕРСТВО ПОЖЕЖНИХ АВАРІЙ РОСІЇ
another retired old fart on internet/since before there was internet. fighting GOPiggies.
Living Blue in Purple MN CD-8
another retired old fart on internet/since before there was internet. fighting GOPiggies.
Living Blue in Purple MN CD-8
⚡️BREAKING ⚡️
Developing story: FBI inches towards ruling Charlie Kirk’s death a suicide.
Developing story: FBI inches towards ruling Charlie Kirk’s death a suicide.
September 12, 2025 at 12:09 AM
⚡️BREAKING ⚡️
Developing story: FBI inches towards ruling Charlie Kirk’s death a suicide.
Developing story: FBI inches towards ruling Charlie Kirk’s death a suicide.
This is not a drill!
This is the moment UMARF has been training for since its inception:
A public outhouse has caught on fire in Rostov:
t.me/etorostov/10...
"the firemen who responded had only half the extinguishers needed to put it out; the fire jumped to the neighboring structures"
This is the moment UMARF has been training for since its inception:
A public outhouse has caught on fire in Rostov:
t.me/etorostov/10...
"the firemen who responded had only half the extinguishers needed to put it out; the fire jumped to the neighboring structures"
September 11, 2025 at 11:24 PM
This is not a drill!
This is the moment UMARF has been training for since its inception:
A public outhouse has caught on fire in Rostov:
t.me/etorostov/10...
"the firemen who responded had only half the extinguishers needed to put it out; the fire jumped to the neighboring structures"
This is the moment UMARF has been training for since its inception:
A public outhouse has caught on fire in Rostov:
t.me/etorostov/10...
"the firemen who responded had only half the extinguishers needed to put it out; the fire jumped to the neighboring structures"
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
In retaliation to the China retaliatory tariffs, Trump closes White House China Room, orders staff to break dishes and use paper plates.
t.co/qVNU1i0eVH
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
In retaliation to the China retaliatory tariffs, Trump closes White House China Room, orders staff to break dishes and use paper plates.
t.co/qVNU1i0eVH
April 9, 2025 at 6:57 AM
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
In retaliation to the China retaliatory tariffs, Trump closes White House China Room, orders staff to break dishes and use paper plates.
t.co/qVNU1i0eVH
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
In retaliation to the China retaliatory tariffs, Trump closes White House China Room, orders staff to break dishes and use paper plates.
t.co/qVNU1i0eVH
nobody does it like SNL does it!
kudos to the writers!
kudos to the cast!
kudos to the writers!
kudos to the cast!
April 6, 2025 at 10:56 PM
nobody does it like SNL does it!
kudos to the writers!
kudos to the cast!
kudos to the writers!
kudos to the cast!
⚡️UPDATE⚡️
Your new tariff schedule will be calculated according to the widely accepted formula among the social media experts:
Tariff = [posts read - posts posted] /
[consonants * verbs * number of cashews]
Your new tariff schedule will be calculated according to the widely accepted formula among the social media experts:
Tariff = [posts read - posts posted] /
[consonants * verbs * number of cashews]
April 4, 2025 at 12:45 PM
⚡️UPDATE⚡️
Your new tariff schedule will be calculated according to the widely accepted formula among the social media experts:
Tariff = [posts read - posts posted] /
[consonants * verbs * number of cashews]
Your new tariff schedule will be calculated according to the widely accepted formula among the social media experts:
Tariff = [posts read - posts posted] /
[consonants * verbs * number of cashews]
TLDR: i like it just fine
April 3, 2025 at 10:58 PM
TLDR: i like it just fine
For MAGA, English lesson numbero dos:
April 3, 2025 at 1:32 PM
For MAGA, English lesson numbero dos:
April 3, 2025 at 1:31 PM
💫🇷🇺: The More You Know💫
Great news from Moskvabad where "a legendary 🇷🇺hockey player, 5X national champion, Igor Dorofeyev has been arrested for public masturbation at the 🇷🇺National Children's Library"
Traditional 🇷🇺 Sport:
news.ru/moskva/legen...
pic.x.com/KBr8xGhl0S
Great news from Moskvabad where "a legendary 🇷🇺hockey player, 5X national champion, Igor Dorofeyev has been arrested for public masturbation at the 🇷🇺National Children's Library"
Traditional 🇷🇺 Sport:
news.ru/moskva/legen...
pic.x.com/KBr8xGhl0S
March 22, 2025 at 12:06 AM
💫🇷🇺: The More You Know💫
Great news from Moskvabad where "a legendary 🇷🇺hockey player, 5X national champion, Igor Dorofeyev has been arrested for public masturbation at the 🇷🇺National Children's Library"
Traditional 🇷🇺 Sport:
news.ru/moskva/legen...
pic.x.com/KBr8xGhl0S
Great news from Moskvabad where "a legendary 🇷🇺hockey player, 5X national champion, Igor Dorofeyev has been arrested for public masturbation at the 🇷🇺National Children's Library"
Traditional 🇷🇺 Sport:
news.ru/moskva/legen...
pic.x.com/KBr8xGhl0S
💫🇷🇺: The More You Know💫
For example, did you even know that 🇷🇺 is about to create its Official Dictionary of Traditional Values?
'tis true:
tass.ru/politika/234...
This will be a long-running 🧵
Exhibit 1: Traditional 🇷🇺 Dance:
For example, did you even know that 🇷🇺 is about to create its Official Dictionary of Traditional Values?
'tis true:
tass.ru/politika/234...
This will be a long-running 🧵
Exhibit 1: Traditional 🇷🇺 Dance:
March 22, 2025 at 12:04 AM
💫🇷🇺: The More You Know💫
For example, did you even know that 🇷🇺 is about to create its Official Dictionary of Traditional Values?
'tis true:
tass.ru/politika/234...
This will be a long-running 🧵
Exhibit 1: Traditional 🇷🇺 Dance:
For example, did you even know that 🇷🇺 is about to create its Official Dictionary of Traditional Values?
'tis true:
tass.ru/politika/234...
This will be a long-running 🧵
Exhibit 1: Traditional 🇷🇺 Dance:
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
Moskvabad team fails to qualify for the 🇷🇺 Darwin Award Finals
Moskvabad team fails to qualify for the 🇷🇺 Darwin Award Finals
February 26, 2025 at 10:23 AM
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
Moskvabad team fails to qualify for the 🇷🇺 Darwin Award Finals
Moskvabad team fails to qualify for the 🇷🇺 Darwin Award Finals
Lukashenko offers trump rare earth minerals
February 25, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Lukashenko offers trump rare earth minerals
Resolute Desk!
Resolute Fucking Desk!
get these fuckers deported, the whole lot of them
Resolute Fucking Desk!
get these fuckers deported, the whole lot of them
February 12, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Resolute Desk!
Resolute Fucking Desk!
get these fuckers deported, the whole lot of them
Resolute Fucking Desk!
get these fuckers deported, the whole lot of them
February 8, 2025 at 8:38 PM
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡UNCONFIRMED⚡️
UMARF Sources: NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte invites Kanye West and Elon Musk to the 81 D-Day Celebration to present the case for the other side.
⚡UNCONFIRMED⚡️
UMARF Sources: NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte invites Kanye West and Elon Musk to the 81 D-Day Celebration to present the case for the other side.
February 8, 2025 at 8:38 PM
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡UNCONFIRMED⚡️
UMARF Sources: NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte invites Kanye West and Elon Musk to the 81 D-Day Celebration to present the case for the other side.
⚡UNCONFIRMED⚡️
UMARF Sources: NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte invites Kanye West and Elon Musk to the 81 D-Day Celebration to present the case for the other side.
TLDR: everything 🇷🇺touches turns to shit
Great news from Voronezh where entrances to concrete bomb shelters have been boarded up by authorities because they were being used as toilets.
t.co/3TixtJqpZZ
Great news from Voronezh where entrances to concrete bomb shelters have been boarded up by authorities because they were being used as toilets.
t.co/3TixtJqpZZ
January 29, 2025 at 5:49 PM
TLDR: everything 🇷🇺touches turns to shit
Great news from Voronezh where entrances to concrete bomb shelters have been boarded up by authorities because they were being used as toilets.
t.co/3TixtJqpZZ
Great news from Voronezh where entrances to concrete bomb shelters have been boarded up by authorities because they were being used as toilets.
t.co/3TixtJqpZZ
stole this from Liam Nissan on twitter
January 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
stole this from Liam Nissan on twitter
Photo: local citizens and commuters alike overjoyed at another successful resolution of a crisis by the vigilant ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Procecutor's Office
January 24, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Photo: local citizens and commuters alike overjoyed at another successful resolution of a crisis by the vigilant ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Procecutor's Office
⚡️Great News⚡️
"Formal investigation of by the Partizansk ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Prosecutor has determined the reason for the shitbumps™️ was a sewage pipe burst that led to all sorts of shit surfacing"⬇️
t.co/jmk5jc5evN
"Formal investigation of by the Partizansk ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Prosecutor has determined the reason for the shitbumps™️ was a sewage pipe burst that led to all sorts of shit surfacing"⬇️
t.co/jmk5jc5evN
January 24, 2025 at 10:32 AM
⚡️Great News⚡️
"Formal investigation of by the Partizansk ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Prosecutor has determined the reason for the shitbumps™️ was a sewage pipe burst that led to all sorts of shit surfacing"⬇️
t.co/jmk5jc5evN
"Formal investigation of by the Partizansk ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Prosecutor has determined the reason for the shitbumps™️ was a sewage pipe burst that led to all sorts of shit surfacing"⬇️
t.co/jmk5jc5evN
Great news from Novosibirsk today where "a river of shit" is going strong despite robust -21C temps.
The sewage pipe explosion in Siberia's largest city also took out heat & electricity in 315 apt buildings, 60 of which are high-rises.
www.moscowtimes.ru/2025/01/22/v...
h/t@prune602.bsky.social w🫂
The sewage pipe explosion in Siberia's largest city also took out heat & electricity in 315 apt buildings, 60 of which are high-rises.
www.moscowtimes.ru/2025/01/22/v...
h/t@prune602.bsky.social w🫂
January 22, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Great news from Novosibirsk today where "a river of shit" is going strong despite robust -21C temps.
The sewage pipe explosion in Siberia's largest city also took out heat & electricity in 315 apt buildings, 60 of which are high-rises.
www.moscowtimes.ru/2025/01/22/v...
h/t@prune602.bsky.social w🫂
The sewage pipe explosion in Siberia's largest city also took out heat & electricity in 315 apt buildings, 60 of which are high-rises.
www.moscowtimes.ru/2025/01/22/v...
h/t@prune602.bsky.social w🫂
part 2:
January 10, 2025 at 11:27 PM
part 2:
While your lazy ass slept, Orcistan developed 🇷🇺 Predictive AI that has no analogues in the West.
🇷🇺 through 🇷🇺AI: (part 1)
Pleasant dreams.
🇷🇺 through 🇷🇺AI: (part 1)
Pleasant dreams.
January 10, 2025 at 11:27 PM
While your lazy ass slept, Orcistan developed 🇷🇺 Predictive AI that has no analogues in the West.
🇷🇺 through 🇷🇺AI: (part 1)
Pleasant dreams.
🇷🇺 through 🇷🇺AI: (part 1)
Pleasant dreams.
UMARF Fashionisha Department brings the Ladies of Blue Sky more beauty tips. Straight outa Orcistan.
No, no, don't thank me.
No, really. Don't
No, no, don't thank me.
No, really. Don't
January 6, 2025 at 10:14 PM
UMARF Fashionisha Department brings the Ladies of Blue Sky more beauty tips. Straight outa Orcistan.
No, no, don't thank me.
No, really. Don't
No, no, don't thank me.
No, really. Don't
January 5, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires Fashionista Department presents:
iz orcistan fashon shoevear for mud & snow season:
cc: @nixxed.bsky.social
iz orcistan fashon shoevear for mud & snow season:
cc: @nixxed.bsky.social
January 2, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires Fashionista Department presents:
iz orcistan fashon shoevear for mud & snow season:
cc: @nixxed.bsky.social
iz orcistan fashon shoevear for mud & snow season:
cc: @nixxed.bsky.social