Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires in Exile
@umarf.bsky.social
УКРАЇНСЬКЕ МІНІСТЕРСТВО ПОЖЕЖНИХ АВАРІЙ РОСІЇ
another retired old fart on internet/since before there was internet. fighting GOPiggies.
Living Blue in Purple MN CD-8
another retired old fart on internet/since before there was internet. fighting GOPiggies.
Living Blue in Purple MN CD-8
maybe by "trans" MAGA meant "transactional" as in the sheriff dad getting $100K in exchange for his son?
September 12, 2025 at 4:14 PM
maybe by "trans" MAGA meant "transactional" as in the sheriff dad getting $100K in exchange for his son?
⚡️BREAKING ⚡️
Developing story: FBI inches towards ruling Charlie Kirk’s death a suicide.
Developing story: FBI inches towards ruling Charlie Kirk’s death a suicide.
September 12, 2025 at 12:09 AM
⚡️BREAKING ⚡️
Developing story: FBI inches towards ruling Charlie Kirk’s death a suicide.
Developing story: FBI inches towards ruling Charlie Kirk’s death a suicide.
This is not a drill!
This is the moment UMARF has been training for since its inception:
A public outhouse has caught on fire in Rostov:
t.me/etorostov/10...
"the firemen who responded had only half the extinguishers needed to put it out; the fire jumped to the neighboring structures"
This is the moment UMARF has been training for since its inception:
A public outhouse has caught on fire in Rostov:
t.me/etorostov/10...
"the firemen who responded had only half the extinguishers needed to put it out; the fire jumped to the neighboring structures"
September 11, 2025 at 11:24 PM
This is not a drill!
This is the moment UMARF has been training for since its inception:
A public outhouse has caught on fire in Rostov:
t.me/etorostov/10...
"the firemen who responded had only half the extinguishers needed to put it out; the fire jumped to the neighboring structures"
This is the moment UMARF has been training for since its inception:
A public outhouse has caught on fire in Rostov:
t.me/etorostov/10...
"the firemen who responded had only half the extinguishers needed to put it out; the fire jumped to the neighboring structures"
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
In retaliation to the China retaliatory tariffs, Trump closes White House China Room, orders staff to break dishes and use paper plates.
t.co/qVNU1i0eVH
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
In retaliation to the China retaliatory tariffs, Trump closes White House China Room, orders staff to break dishes and use paper plates.
t.co/qVNU1i0eVH
April 9, 2025 at 6:57 AM
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
In retaliation to the China retaliatory tariffs, Trump closes White House China Room, orders staff to break dishes and use paper plates.
t.co/qVNU1i0eVH
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
In retaliation to the China retaliatory tariffs, Trump closes White House China Room, orders staff to break dishes and use paper plates.
t.co/qVNU1i0eVH
nobody does it like SNL does it!
kudos to the writers!
kudos to the cast!
kudos to the writers!
kudos to the cast!
April 6, 2025 at 10:56 PM
nobody does it like SNL does it!
kudos to the writers!
kudos to the cast!
kudos to the writers!
kudos to the cast!
⚡️UPDATE⚡️
Your new tariff schedule will be calculated according to the widely accepted formula among the social media experts:
Tariff = [posts read - posts posted] /
[consonants * verbs * number of cashews]
Your new tariff schedule will be calculated according to the widely accepted formula among the social media experts:
Tariff = [posts read - posts posted] /
[consonants * verbs * number of cashews]
April 4, 2025 at 12:45 PM
⚡️UPDATE⚡️
Your new tariff schedule will be calculated according to the widely accepted formula among the social media experts:
Tariff = [posts read - posts posted] /
[consonants * verbs * number of cashews]
Your new tariff schedule will be calculated according to the widely accepted formula among the social media experts:
Tariff = [posts read - posts posted] /
[consonants * verbs * number of cashews]
TLDR: i like it just fine
April 3, 2025 at 10:58 PM
TLDR: i like it just fine
April 3, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires hereby announces Tax Liberation Day for the following people:
Mrs. UMARF - 25% - retaliatory
Son of UMARF -50% - backdated
Followers - 100% - it's about time you fuckers pay
Blockers - 25% bonus payment to unblock
Mrs. UMARF - 25% - retaliatory
Son of UMARF -50% - backdated
Followers - 100% - it's about time you fuckers pay
Blockers - 25% bonus payment to unblock
April 3, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires hereby announces Tax Liberation Day for the following people:
Mrs. UMARF - 25% - retaliatory
Son of UMARF -50% - backdated
Followers - 100% - it's about time you fuckers pay
Blockers - 25% bonus payment to unblock
Mrs. UMARF - 25% - retaliatory
Son of UMARF -50% - backdated
Followers - 100% - it's about time you fuckers pay
Blockers - 25% bonus payment to unblock
TLDR: CNN now projects elon musk to return to destroying $TSLA & Twitter full time.
www.cnn.com/2025/04/01/p...
www.cnn.com/2025/04/01/p...
Liberals will win majority of the Wisconsin Supreme Court, CNN projects | CNN Politics
Democratic-backed candidate Susan Crawford will win Wisconsin’s Supreme Court race, CNN projects, maintaining the liberal majority on the court in a key battleground state less than three months into ...
www.cnn.com
April 2, 2025 at 2:20 AM
TLDR: CNN now projects elon musk to return to destroying $TSLA & Twitter full time.
www.cnn.com/2025/04/01/p...
www.cnn.com/2025/04/01/p...
💫🇷🇺: The More You Know💫
For example, did you even know that 🇷🇺 is about to create its Official Dictionary of Traditional Values?
'tis true:
tass.ru/politika/234...
This will be a long-running 🧵
Exhibit 1: Traditional 🇷🇺 Dance:
For example, did you even know that 🇷🇺 is about to create its Official Dictionary of Traditional Values?
'tis true:
tass.ru/politika/234...
This will be a long-running 🧵
Exhibit 1: Traditional 🇷🇺 Dance:
March 22, 2025 at 12:04 AM
💫🇷🇺: The More You Know💫
For example, did you even know that 🇷🇺 is about to create its Official Dictionary of Traditional Values?
'tis true:
tass.ru/politika/234...
This will be a long-running 🧵
Exhibit 1: Traditional 🇷🇺 Dance:
For example, did you even know that 🇷🇺 is about to create its Official Dictionary of Traditional Values?
'tis true:
tass.ru/politika/234...
This will be a long-running 🧵
Exhibit 1: Traditional 🇷🇺 Dance:
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
Moskvabad team fails to qualify for the 🇷🇺 Darwin Award Finals
Moskvabad team fails to qualify for the 🇷🇺 Darwin Award Finals
February 26, 2025 at 10:23 AM
⚡️BREAKING⚡️
Moskvabad team fails to qualify for the 🇷🇺 Darwin Award Finals
Moskvabad team fails to qualify for the 🇷🇺 Darwin Award Finals
Lukashenko offers trump rare earth minerals
February 25, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Lukashenko offers trump rare earth minerals
Resolute Desk!
Resolute Fucking Desk!
get these fuckers deported, the whole lot of them
Resolute Fucking Desk!
get these fuckers deported, the whole lot of them
February 12, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Resolute Desk!
Resolute Fucking Desk!
get these fuckers deported, the whole lot of them
Resolute Fucking Desk!
get these fuckers deported, the whole lot of them
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡UNCONFIRMED⚡️
UMARF Sources: NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte invites Kanye West and Elon Musk to the 81 D-Day Celebration to present the case for the other side.
⚡UNCONFIRMED⚡️
UMARF Sources: NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte invites Kanye West and Elon Musk to the 81 D-Day Celebration to present the case for the other side.
February 8, 2025 at 8:38 PM
⚡️EXCLUSIVE⚡️
⚡UNCONFIRMED⚡️
UMARF Sources: NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte invites Kanye West and Elon Musk to the 81 D-Day Celebration to present the case for the other side.
⚡UNCONFIRMED⚡️
UMARF Sources: NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte invites Kanye West and Elon Musk to the 81 D-Day Celebration to present the case for the other side.
TLDR: everything 🇷🇺touches turns to shit
Great news from Voronezh where entrances to concrete bomb shelters have been boarded up by authorities because they were being used as toilets.
t.co/3TixtJqpZZ
Great news from Voronezh where entrances to concrete bomb shelters have been boarded up by authorities because they were being used as toilets.
t.co/3TixtJqpZZ
January 29, 2025 at 5:49 PM
TLDR: everything 🇷🇺touches turns to shit
Great news from Voronezh where entrances to concrete bomb shelters have been boarded up by authorities because they were being used as toilets.
t.co/3TixtJqpZZ
Great news from Voronezh where entrances to concrete bomb shelters have been boarded up by authorities because they were being used as toilets.
t.co/3TixtJqpZZ
stole this from Liam Nissan on twitter
January 29, 2025 at 5:48 PM
stole this from Liam Nissan on twitter
any shy #fellas,
you can use this as an icebreaker at parties.
a printout is good for a free admission for one to a #NAFO sex tunnel (if that's still a thing; nobody tells gramps anything)
tyvm @vylistalo.bsky.social for pinging me on this
you can use this as an icebreaker at parties.
a printout is good for a free admission for one to a #NAFO sex tunnel (if that's still a thing; nobody tells gramps anything)
tyvm @vylistalo.bsky.social for pinging me on this
The Russian nuclear-powered icebreaker 50 Years of Victory suffered a major collision in the Kara Sea today, losing a sizable chunk of its bow.
Russia operates 8 of the key icebreakers to clear its ports, with the recent sinking of the Ursa Major delaying a replacement unit.
Russia operates 8 of the key icebreakers to clear its ports, with the recent sinking of the Ursa Major delaying a replacement unit.
January 29, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Reposted by Ukrainian Ministry of Accidental Russian Fires in Exile
@swegringo.bsky.social @umarf.bsky.social
Champagne Supernova! 🍾🇬🇪🥂🎉
bsky.app/profile/anna... 🚌
Via @annagvarish.bsky.social
Champagne Supernova! 🍾🇬🇪🥂🎉
bsky.app/profile/anna... 🚌
Via @annagvarish.bsky.social
Someone hacked the payment system in Tbilisi public transport, and it’s playing protest chants and speeches. This is, by far, my favorite form of the #GeorgiaProtests.
January 24, 2025 at 3:37 PM
@swegringo.bsky.social @umarf.bsky.social
Champagne Supernova! 🍾🇬🇪🥂🎉
bsky.app/profile/anna... 🚌
Via @annagvarish.bsky.social
Champagne Supernova! 🍾🇬🇪🥂🎉
bsky.app/profile/anna... 🚌
Via @annagvarish.bsky.social
⚡️Great News⚡️
"Formal investigation of by the Partizansk ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Prosecutor has determined the reason for the shitbumps™️ was a sewage pipe burst that led to all sorts of shit surfacing"⬇️
t.co/jmk5jc5evN
"Formal investigation of by the Partizansk ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Prosecutor has determined the reason for the shitbumps™️ was a sewage pipe burst that led to all sorts of shit surfacing"⬇️
t.co/jmk5jc5evN
January 24, 2025 at 10:32 AM
⚡️Great News⚡️
"Formal investigation of by the Partizansk ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Prosecutor has determined the reason for the shitbumps™️ was a sewage pipe burst that led to all sorts of shit surfacing"⬇️
t.co/jmk5jc5evN
"Formal investigation of by the Partizansk ̷S̷h̷i̷t̷t̷y̷ City Prosecutor has determined the reason for the shitbumps™️ was a sewage pipe burst that led to all sorts of shit surfacing"⬇️
t.co/jmk5jc5evN
⚡️UPDATE⚡️
Partizansk city prosecutor's office has launched a formal investigation & organized inspections into the formation of shit ice and ruts, following an incident where a bus on route could not pass the day before.
primamedia.ru/news/1954621/?
Partizansk city prosecutor's office has launched a formal investigation & organized inspections into the formation of shit ice and ruts, following an incident where a bus on route could not pass the day before.
primamedia.ru/news/1954621/?
January 24, 2025 at 10:30 AM
⚡️UPDATE⚡️
Partizansk city prosecutor's office has launched a formal investigation & organized inspections into the formation of shit ice and ruts, following an incident where a bus on route could not pass the day before.
primamedia.ru/news/1954621/?
Partizansk city prosecutor's office has launched a formal investigation & organized inspections into the formation of shit ice and ruts, following an incident where a bus on route could not pass the day before.
primamedia.ru/news/1954621/?
While your lazy ass slept, Orcistan invented shitbumps™️, speed bumps of frozen sewage, that have no analogues in the West
vlad.mk.ru/incident/202...
Thanks to @Prune602🫂 we are able to bring you the complete story in a 🧵⬇️
*though to me they appear more like frozen shit cracks
vlad.mk.ru/incident/202...
Thanks to @Prune602🫂 we are able to bring you the complete story in a 🧵⬇️
*though to me they appear more like frozen shit cracks
Замерзшие фекальные торосы блокируют движение автобусов в Партизанске
В Партизанске возникла серьезная проблема с транспортным сообщением из-за образовавшихся ледяных бугров, возникших после порыва канализации
vlad.mk.ru
January 24, 2025 at 6:17 AM
While your lazy ass slept, Orcistan invented shitbumps™️, speed bumps of frozen sewage, that have no analogues in the West
vlad.mk.ru/incident/202...
Thanks to @Prune602🫂 we are able to bring you the complete story in a 🧵⬇️
*though to me they appear more like frozen shit cracks
vlad.mk.ru/incident/202...
Thanks to @Prune602🫂 we are able to bring you the complete story in a 🧵⬇️
*though to me they appear more like frozen shit cracks
Great news from Novosibirsk today where "a river of shit" is going strong despite robust -21C temps.
The sewage pipe explosion in Siberia's largest city also took out heat & electricity in 315 apt buildings, 60 of which are high-rises.
www.moscowtimes.ru/2025/01/22/v...
h/t@prune602.bsky.social w🫂
The sewage pipe explosion in Siberia's largest city also took out heat & electricity in 315 apt buildings, 60 of which are high-rises.
www.moscowtimes.ru/2025/01/22/v...
h/t@prune602.bsky.social w🫂
January 22, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Great news from Novosibirsk today where "a river of shit" is going strong despite robust -21C temps.
The sewage pipe explosion in Siberia's largest city also took out heat & electricity in 315 apt buildings, 60 of which are high-rises.
www.moscowtimes.ru/2025/01/22/v...
h/t@prune602.bsky.social w🫂
The sewage pipe explosion in Siberia's largest city also took out heat & electricity in 315 apt buildings, 60 of which are high-rises.
www.moscowtimes.ru/2025/01/22/v...
h/t@prune602.bsky.social w🫂
While your lazy ass slept, Orcistan developed 🇷🇺 Predictive AI that has no analogues in the West.
🇷🇺 through 🇷🇺AI: (part 1)
Pleasant dreams.
🇷🇺 through 🇷🇺AI: (part 1)
Pleasant dreams.
January 10, 2025 at 11:27 PM
While your lazy ass slept, Orcistan developed 🇷🇺 Predictive AI that has no analogues in the West.
🇷🇺 through 🇷🇺AI: (part 1)
Pleasant dreams.
🇷🇺 through 🇷🇺AI: (part 1)
Pleasant dreams.