If you’re going to be obvious and insulting to the intelligence of the audience, you need to be steamy or funny. This is firmly neither.

Well, it certainly couldn't have been a sad ghost, because you've never done anything wrong.

OR HAVE YOU

I think i need to treat it like a mystery noise in a car, in fact. Just turn up the stereo so I can hear it anymore.

It predates the current bout of rain. If it is a leak, it will be hard to find because we have that stupid spray insulation.

I’ll kick your ass as well.

Possibly, but it’s not a trapped noise. It’s very like the noise the seagulls used to make when they were picking insects off the velux windows, but there’s nothing I can see on the roof.

I will come over there and kick your ass!

The last time we had a noise that only I could hear, it was a loose wire in a socket and we were lucky not to have a fire, so yes, I am concerned about this new noise.

Here it is, from @clairewillett.bsky.social

Beautiful. Apparently it’s going to be strong again tonight, if the rain ever lets up.

Happy to be of service. I once got into a taxi in Dublin wearing a cool new outfit. I was nervous about deviating from the norm but did it anyway.

The taxi driver was on the phone when I got in. First thing he did was finish his phone call saying "I have to go, this fella's wearing dungarees"