me at age 10: hey guys theres this really cute game i like called animal crossing, look at my town

me at age 17: my life feels meaningless and idk what I’m doing

me at age 22: hey guys theres this really cute game i like called animal crossing, look at my town

‘No, Secretary Kennedy, cocaine and bear meat will not be part of the school lunch program…I don’t care who your uncle was, Sir…’

can someone put me in a coma until november 4th i dont have the attention span for this

there are 32 nfl teams now, but when i was a kid there was only one. they'd just stand around out there for a few hours and then everybody went home. it was terrible

u ever take a big step to unstick your balls

fondly looking back on the days when summer was beautiful and fun and not “you die in minutes if you go outside”

@fda.gov I was poisoned by mcdonal

elon should really make it so teslas have a 50 mile limit and when you reach that limit it just stops wherever you are

BlueSky: Trans person makes a joke replying to Jake Tapper, immediately illustrated by comic artist, liked by AOC. Everything gets nine likes.

Threads: Ellen DeGeneres hosts a rap battle between Frito-Lay and Cheez-Its riddled with "chedda," avoiding hard-R. The CIA buys all the data.

Zuckerberg: We're here for friendly conversation!

The conversation:
So who here loves the great taste of new Coca-Cola Ultimate?

FYI there is a vxtwitter/fxtwitter tool for Bluesky, you can use "psky.app" (change the "b" to a "p" when you paste the link)

love how these are the first accounts to show up when you make a twitter account. politically independent platform amirite

they should make it a requirement for you to get laid in order to run a social media platform

please don't let threads be the one

please don't let threads be the one

please don't let threads be the one

why don’t they make it so you have to get laid in order to be in the supreme court

finally