Leslie Gaar
@thelesliegaar.bsky.social
Performer. Writer. Serial plant killer.
Austin, TX
@mcsweeneys @WashingtonPost @BuzzFeed @TODAYParents @JimHensonCo
Austin, TX
@mcsweeneys @WashingtonPost @BuzzFeed @TODAYParents @JimHensonCo
Pinned
My phone just auto-corrected 'especially' to 'Dostoevsky' because when you're cultured AF like me, you replace adverbs with 19th century Russian novelists.
In solidarity with Pantone, the American Snack Association has just announced that crackers are the 2026 Snack of the Year.
December 4, 2025 at 7:23 PM
In solidarity with Pantone, the American Snack Association has just announced that crackers are the 2026 Snack of the Year.
My daughter’s friend sent her a tutorial on how to do their chemistry homework and my daughter sent back a tutorial on how to do heatless curls, and honestly, this is the kind of women supporting women action we need.
December 3, 2025 at 3:08 PM
My daughter’s friend sent her a tutorial on how to do their chemistry homework and my daughter sent back a tutorial on how to do heatless curls, and honestly, this is the kind of women supporting women action we need.
Thanks for the detailed instructions on how to exit the doctor’s office, but now I need you to repeat everything since I was concentrating on having the facial expressions of a model patient while you were talking.
December 2, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Thanks for the detailed instructions on how to exit the doctor’s office, but now I need you to repeat everything since I was concentrating on having the facial expressions of a model patient while you were talking.
Shout out to the guy loudly conducting his Zoom business meeting in this Starbucks sans earbuds. We all suspected Jim was going to screw up the templates, and now we have confirmation.
December 2, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Shout out to the guy loudly conducting his Zoom business meeting in this Starbucks sans earbuds. We all suspected Jim was going to screw up the templates, and now we have confirmation.
Uh oh, I’ve procrastinated too much and now I’m really behind. I wonder if procrastinating more will help.
-A memoir
-A memoir
December 1, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Uh oh, I’ve procrastinated too much and now I’m really behind. I wonder if procrastinating more will help.
-A memoir
-A memoir
I love how Scrooge asks if all three spirits can visit him at once to get it over with, as if he’s not getting up every hour to go to the bathroom anyway.
November 30, 2025 at 4:39 AM
I love how Scrooge asks if all three spirits can visit him at once to get it over with, as if he’s not getting up every hour to go to the bathroom anyway.
It’s just not Thanksgiving until a celeb posts a video wishing you a happy Thanksgiving from their multi-million dollar, monochromatic home to yours.
November 28, 2025 at 12:46 AM
It’s just not Thanksgiving until a celeb posts a video wishing you a happy Thanksgiving from their multi-million dollar, monochromatic home to yours.
I've never been in a stampede but I've gone to the grocery store the day before Thanksgiving, so samesies.
November 26, 2025 at 8:17 PM
I've never been in a stampede but I've gone to the grocery store the day before Thanksgiving, so samesies.
Can’t wait for Campbell’s to release their new gruel line of soups. 😋
November 25, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Can’t wait for Campbell’s to release their new gruel line of soups. 😋
I loved Wicked, but the scene with Fiyero and Elphaba felt like
November 25, 2025 at 2:49 AM
I loved Wicked, but the scene with Fiyero and Elphaba felt like
Good advice for Thanksgiving and for life: don’t argue with people who drive parallelograms.
November 24, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Good advice for Thanksgiving and for life: don’t argue with people who drive parallelograms.
Saw Wicked today with my whole family- including my husband and teenage twins- and here’s my hot take: we all loved it and had a great time.
November 23, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Saw Wicked today with my whole family- including my husband and teenage twins- and here’s my hot take: we all loved it and had a great time.
Reposted by Leslie Gaar
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second commandment is ‘Don’t let trans people compete in women’s sports.’” (Matthew 22:37–40)
Thirteen Bible Verses That Prove Jesus Was a Republican
1. “And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God… unl...
buff.ly
November 23, 2025 at 4:01 PM
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second commandment is ‘Don’t let trans people compete in women’s sports.’” (Matthew 22:37–40)
My reaction to a heart-wrenching, remorseful ballad in my 20s: Omg sooo romantic and broody!! *swoon*
My reaction to a heart-wrenching, remorseful ballad in my 40s: Yeah but what'd he do though.
My reaction to a heart-wrenching, remorseful ballad in my 40s: Yeah but what'd he do though.
November 23, 2025 at 4:15 PM
My reaction to a heart-wrenching, remorseful ballad in my 20s: Omg sooo romantic and broody!! *swoon*
My reaction to a heart-wrenching, remorseful ballad in my 40s: Yeah but what'd he do though.
My reaction to a heart-wrenching, remorseful ballad in my 40s: Yeah but what'd he do though.
Slow down, MTG- we can only fit so much material into our Thanksgiving MAGA relative roasts!
November 22, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Slow down, MTG- we can only fit so much material into our Thanksgiving MAGA relative roasts!
Reposted by Leslie Gaar
"“The first time I caught up to them, I could tell that they already knew who I was,” he told me when we first spoke on the phone in late October. “They had seen me before, so they thought they were just going to speed away. I was like, ‘Ha ha, bitches, I got a new scooter!’”
“I want their morale as low as possible because a team with low morale is ineffective.”
Meet the veteran who chases ICE on a scooter
Meet the veteran who chases ICE on a scooter
Meet the veteran who chases ICE on a scooter
Clifford “Buzz” Grambo patrols the streets of Baltimore to keep his neighbors safe—and make federal agents uncomfortable.
www.motherjones.com
November 20, 2025 at 9:55 PM
"“The first time I caught up to them, I could tell that they already knew who I was,” he told me when we first spoke on the phone in late October. “They had seen me before, so they thought they were just going to speed away. I was like, ‘Ha ha, bitches, I got a new scooter!’”
When my kid eats the ice cream I’d hidden under the frozen vegetables
November 20, 2025 at 6:55 PM
When my kid eats the ice cream I’d hidden under the frozen vegetables
Inspirational post: May you have the confidence of the man with the most punchable face in politics, launching a presidential campaign no one wants
November 17, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Inspirational post: May you have the confidence of the man with the most punchable face in politics, launching a presidential campaign no one wants
Blasting Phantom from your room when you’re upset is the most theater kid thing ever. Think of how much better off the world would be if someone had just introduced jazz hands to this man at a formative age instead of real estate and fuckery.
November 15, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Blasting Phantom from your room when you’re upset is the most theater kid thing ever. Think of how much better off the world would be if someone had just introduced jazz hands to this man at a formative age instead of real estate and fuckery.
Reposted by Leslie Gaar
The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.
November 14, 2025 at 9:47 PM
The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.
Them: What if Bill Clinton is in the Epstein files, libs? Then what are you gonna do???
Us: Probably make a bunch of bomb ass jokes idk
Us: Probably make a bunch of bomb ass jokes idk
November 15, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Them: What if Bill Clinton is in the Epstein files, libs? Then what are you gonna do???
Us: Probably make a bunch of bomb ass jokes idk
Us: Probably make a bunch of bomb ass jokes idk
See kids, when two presidents love each other very much…
November 14, 2025 at 10:32 PM
See kids, when two presidents love each other very much…
She couldn’t really give you an opinion about what’s been going on guys, she hasn’t been following the news lately.
November 14, 2025 at 3:32 AM
She couldn’t really give you an opinion about what’s been going on guys, she hasn’t been following the news lately.
A German business contact just thanked me for my "prompt and efficient response," so I'll be riding that high for a while.
November 13, 2025 at 10:46 PM
A German business contact just thanked me for my "prompt and efficient response," so I'll be riding that high for a while.
A new age guru turned out to be a morally repugnant person? Now I've heard everything!
November 13, 2025 at 7:22 PM
A new age guru turned out to be a morally repugnant person? Now I've heard everything!