Leslie Gaar
@thelesliegaar.bsky.social
Performer. Writer. Serial plant killer.
Austin, TX
@mcsweeneys @WashingtonPost @BuzzFeed @TODAYParents @JimHensonCo
Austin, TX
@mcsweeneys @WashingtonPost @BuzzFeed @TODAYParents @JimHensonCo
Pinned
My phone just auto-corrected 'especially' to 'Dostoevsky' because when you're cultured AF like me, you replace adverbs with 19th century Russian novelists.
Slow down, MTG- we can only fit so much material into our Thanksgiving MAGA relative roasts!
November 22, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Slow down, MTG- we can only fit so much material into our Thanksgiving MAGA relative roasts!
Reposted by Leslie Gaar
"“The first time I caught up to them, I could tell that they already knew who I was,” he told me when we first spoke on the phone in late October. “They had seen me before, so they thought they were just going to speed away. I was like, ‘Ha ha, bitches, I got a new scooter!’”
“I want their morale as low as possible because a team with low morale is ineffective.”
Meet the veteran who chases ICE on a scooter
Meet the veteran who chases ICE on a scooter
Meet the veteran who chases ICE on a scooter
Clifford “Buzz” Grambo patrols the streets of Baltimore to keep his neighbors safe—and make federal agents uncomfortable.
www.motherjones.com
November 20, 2025 at 9:55 PM
"“The first time I caught up to them, I could tell that they already knew who I was,” he told me when we first spoke on the phone in late October. “They had seen me before, so they thought they were just going to speed away. I was like, ‘Ha ha, bitches, I got a new scooter!’”
When my kid eats the ice cream I’d hidden under the frozen vegetables
November 20, 2025 at 6:55 PM
When my kid eats the ice cream I’d hidden under the frozen vegetables
Inspirational post: May you have the confidence of the man with the most punchable face in politics, launching a presidential campaign no one wants
November 17, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Inspirational post: May you have the confidence of the man with the most punchable face in politics, launching a presidential campaign no one wants
Blasting Phantom from your room when you’re upset is the most theater kid thing ever. Think of how much better off the world would be if someone had just introduced jazz hands to this man at a formative age instead of real estate and fuckery.
November 15, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Blasting Phantom from your room when you’re upset is the most theater kid thing ever. Think of how much better off the world would be if someone had just introduced jazz hands to this man at a formative age instead of real estate and fuckery.
Reposted by Leslie Gaar
The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.
November 14, 2025 at 9:47 PM
The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.
Them: What if Bill Clinton is in the Epstein files, libs? Then what are you gonna do???
Us: Probably make a bunch of bomb ass jokes idk
Us: Probably make a bunch of bomb ass jokes idk
November 15, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Them: What if Bill Clinton is in the Epstein files, libs? Then what are you gonna do???
Us: Probably make a bunch of bomb ass jokes idk
Us: Probably make a bunch of bomb ass jokes idk
See kids, when two presidents love each other very much…
November 14, 2025 at 10:32 PM
See kids, when two presidents love each other very much…
She couldn’t really give you an opinion about what’s been going on guys, she hasn’t been following the news lately.
November 14, 2025 at 3:32 AM
She couldn’t really give you an opinion about what’s been going on guys, she hasn’t been following the news lately.
A German business contact just thanked me for my "prompt and efficient response," so I'll be riding that high for a while.
November 13, 2025 at 10:46 PM
A German business contact just thanked me for my "prompt and efficient response," so I'll be riding that high for a while.
A new age guru turned out to be a morally repugnant person? Now I've heard everything!
November 13, 2025 at 7:22 PM
A new age guru turned out to be a morally repugnant person? Now I've heard everything!
I have trouble with commas, but apparently not as much as Epstein. So that’s at least two things I’ve got over him.
November 13, 2025 at 4:18 AM
I have trouble with commas, but apparently not as much as Epstein. So that’s at least two things I’ve got over him.
One cool thing about 2025 is every few weeks a new part of the world gets to see the northern lights, but like somehow it’s never your part?
November 12, 2025 at 3:14 PM
One cool thing about 2025 is every few weeks a new part of the world gets to see the northern lights, but like somehow it’s never your part?
Y'all laugh now, but eventually Kris Jenner is going to reverse age all the way back to a fetus and she's gonna have more rights than any of us.
November 11, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Y'all laugh now, but eventually Kris Jenner is going to reverse age all the way back to a fetus and she's gonna have more rights than any of us.
A trillion dollars can buy a lot of salve, but it still won’t be enough for this burn.
November 11, 2025 at 6:04 PM
A trillion dollars can buy a lot of salve, but it still won’t be enough for this burn.
I have a working theory that he capitalizes Unnecessary Words when he knows he’s lying and is trying extra hard to sell his bullshit.
November 11, 2025 at 12:02 AM
I have a working theory that he capitalizes Unnecessary Words when he knows he’s lying and is trying extra hard to sell his bullshit.
Serve it with anything crunchy, like potato chips, or the charred remains of our journalistic integrity.
November 10, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Serve it with anything crunchy, like potato chips, or the charred remains of our journalistic integrity.
Fitness instructor: You need a band, Leslie.
Me: Oh yeah, you think? 😀 I only play piano and I’m kinda rusty but it'd be cool...
Fitness instructor: An elastic band. We're doing resistance work.
Me: ...oh. 😞
Me: Oh yeah, you think? 😀 I only play piano and I’m kinda rusty but it'd be cool...
Fitness instructor: An elastic band. We're doing resistance work.
Me: ...oh. 😞
November 9, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Fitness instructor: You need a band, Leslie.
Me: Oh yeah, you think? 😀 I only play piano and I’m kinda rusty but it'd be cool...
Fitness instructor: An elastic band. We're doing resistance work.
Me: ...oh. 😞
Me: Oh yeah, you think? 😀 I only play piano and I’m kinda rusty but it'd be cool...
Fitness instructor: An elastic band. We're doing resistance work.
Me: ...oh. 😞
I used to work at a place with like 90% women, and the part I miss most is when we’d gather together with our pointed hats and cauldrons to curse the men.
November 7, 2025 at 10:58 PM
I used to work at a place with like 90% women, and the part I miss most is when we’d gather together with our pointed hats and cauldrons to curse the men.
Ladies, don’t forget it’s work from home Friday, so today you can just fuck shit up there instead of at the office.
November 7, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Ladies, don’t forget it’s work from home Friday, so today you can just fuck shit up there instead of at the office.
Me, determined to enjoy my alone time while my kids are burning the house down
November 7, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Me, determined to enjoy my alone time while my kids are burning the house down
Reposted by Leslie Gaar
"Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer a city where everyday residents have to work three jobs and are under constant threat of eviction. Anything short of an excruciating existence for the working class just doesn’t cut it for me."
If New York City Is No Longer Going to Be an Unaffordable Police State Run by Crooks, I’m Taking My Hard-Earned Sex-Pest Dollars Elsewhere
“New York millionaires are plotting their exit from the city after the election of Zohran Mamdani, the socialist who plans to increase the taxes of...
buff.ly
November 6, 2025 at 7:27 PM
"Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer a city where everyday residents have to work three jobs and are under constant threat of eviction. Anything short of an excruciating existence for the working class just doesn’t cut it for me."
I couldn’t help but wonder- would I have to start faking medical emergencies to get the attention I deserve?
November 6, 2025 at 8:05 PM
I couldn’t help but wonder- would I have to start faking medical emergencies to get the attention I deserve?
The people who peaked in high school are having the worst night.
November 5, 2025 at 3:29 AM
The people who peaked in high school are having the worst night.
These election results are the perfect send off for Dick Cheney. 🥰
November 5, 2025 at 2:28 AM
These election results are the perfect send off for Dick Cheney. 🥰