Emma Kat
@theemmakat.bsky.social
Comedian/Writer/Cat mom. Person doing thing in Austin, TX. Thing TBD.
I took a personal day tomorrow, so the workplace is going to have to wait til Tuesday to be ruined.
November 9, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I took a personal day tomorrow, so the workplace is going to have to wait til Tuesday to be ruined.
Latest Substack is out! Check out my interview with the amazing Austin comedian Katie Felton! open.substack.com/pub/clemency...
Interview: Katie Felton
The Austin comedian who's head of the class
open.substack.com
October 31, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Latest Substack is out! Check out my interview with the amazing Austin comedian Katie Felton! open.substack.com/pub/clemency...
The worst part about the destruction of the East Wing is that “Ballroom Blitz” is ruined.
October 25, 2025 at 1:31 AM
The worst part about the destruction of the East Wing is that “Ballroom Blitz” is ruined.
In July, I wrote about the life & legacy of Virginia Roberts Giuffre. I wanted to honor the memory of an extraordinary woman. Her posthumous memoir comes out tomorrow. I bet VRG would pry the Epstein List from Pam Bondi's cold, badly manicured fingers. #virginiarobertsgiuffre #epsteinlist
Virginia’s Voice is Missing
Jeffrey Epstein is back in the news, but one accuser isn’t here to clear the air
clemencyandtheclaimsadjuster.substack.com
October 21, 2025 at 1:51 AM
In July, I wrote about the life & legacy of Virginia Roberts Giuffre. I wanted to honor the memory of an extraordinary woman. Her posthumous memoir comes out tomorrow. I bet VRG would pry the Epstein List from Pam Bondi's cold, badly manicured fingers. #virginiarobertsgiuffre #epsteinlist
The Charlie Kirk assassination video is the Gen-Z Zapruder film.
September 13, 2025 at 12:14 AM
The Charlie Kirk assassination video is the Gen-Z Zapruder film.
Long weekend, long read. Check out my love letter to Chris Farley on Substack! open.substack.com/pub/clemency...
Re-imagining Chris Farley
A made-up journey through what could have been
open.substack.com
August 31, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Long weekend, long read. Check out my love letter to Chris Farley on Substack! open.substack.com/pub/clemency...
People think “Sunny Came Home” is about burning a house down. But it’s really about insurance fraud.
August 29, 2025 at 2:09 AM
People think “Sunny Came Home” is about burning a house down. But it’s really about insurance fraud.
Well, at least Elon can key Trump’s Tesla.
June 7, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Well, at least Elon can key Trump’s Tesla.
This year, you can only have two dolls and one of them has to be a Chucky.
May 2, 2025 at 9:40 AM
This year, you can only have two dolls and one of them has to be a Chucky.
Reposted by Emma Kat
Well I guess we have learned that Don Jr and Eric got 30 dolls for Christmas every year
May 1, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Well I guess we have learned that Don Jr and Eric got 30 dolls for Christmas every year
Daily reminder: leave trans people alone.
May 1, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Daily reminder: leave trans people alone.
Reposted by Emma Kat
@maddow.msnbc.com my 82 year old mom outside Philadelphia
April 6, 2025 at 2:35 AM
@maddow.msnbc.com my 82 year old mom outside Philadelphia
Once unlocked, he promptly texted the nuclear codes to Kid Rock.
“Stupid fucking judge made me put this on my iPhone,” said the head of the nation’s largest government agency
theonion.com/pete-he...
theonion.com/pete-he...
Pete Hegseth Blows Into Breathalyzer To Unlock Phone
WASHINGTON—Grumbling to himself as he repeatedly dropped the device, U.S. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was reportedly blowing into a Breathalyzer Thursday in an attempt to unlock his phone. “Stupid fucking judge made me put this on my iPhone,” said the head of the nation’s largest government agency, snapping his fingers to get the attention […]
theonion.com
March 28, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Once unlocked, he promptly texted the nuclear codes to Kid Rock.
Reposted by Emma Kat
As a devout atheist, I celebrate Clear Wednesday each year, a reminder to see reality clearly. I do so by carrying around a moist towelette and wiping any smudges off people's foreheads, so their third eyes aren't occluded.
March 5, 2025 at 2:24 PM
As a devout atheist, I celebrate Clear Wednesday each year, a reminder to see reality clearly. I do so by carrying around a moist towelette and wiping any smudges off people's foreheads, so their third eyes aren't occluded.
Eggxactly (sorry).
Can’t spend a fortune on eggs if there are no eggs. Thank you, President Trump.
February 25, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Eggxactly (sorry).
Somebody start a band called Capitalism Kills.
February 19, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Somebody start a band called Capitalism Kills.
Reposted by Emma Kat
It’s 2013. Obama just got reelected. Breaking Bad and Mad Men are airing. Netflix just made House of Cards. Parks and Rec is on. Final season of the office. Game of thrones is still good. The iPhone 5s is released. Society is in a good enough place to enjoy the “What does the fox say” song.
February 13, 2025 at 3:36 AM
It’s 2013. Obama just got reelected. Breaking Bad and Mad Men are airing. Netflix just made House of Cards. Parks and Rec is on. Final season of the office. Game of thrones is still good. The iPhone 5s is released. Society is in a good enough place to enjoy the “What does the fox say” song.
Look, when the whole world’s gone crazy, maybe give sanity a shot? (Now, anyone know where I can get a shot of Sanity?)
February 9, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Look, when the whole world’s gone crazy, maybe give sanity a shot? (Now, anyone know where I can get a shot of Sanity?)
I’ve personally never encountered a spud dud.
February 6, 2025 at 1:42 AM
I’ve personally never encountered a spud dud.
Here I am yearning for the simple days of the War on Christmas.
"Identity months dead," U.S. military declares, banning Black, Latino and Asian History Month workplace observances, as well as Women's History Month
www.kenklippenstein.com/p/military-d...
www.kenklippenstein.com/p/military-d...
Military Declares War on Holidays
Pentagon suspends celebrations that honor women and racial and ethnic minorities
www.kenklippenstein.com
February 1, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Here I am yearning for the simple days of the War on Christmas.
I was imagining him mainlining tequila so this is a slight improvement.
From what I can tell around the time of the collision the new SecDef was doing a Fox hit about the woke mind virus.
January 30, 2025 at 5:47 AM
I was imagining him mainlining tequila so this is a slight improvement.
Still time to convert fiction into reality though: www.snopes.com/fact-check/m...
Fictional Rumor Claims ICE Paused Hotline Due to Influx of Calls About Musk
Musk is an immigrant from South Africa.
www.snopes.com
January 30, 2025 at 5:45 AM
Still time to convert fiction into reality though: www.snopes.com/fact-check/m...
We’re really going to be screwed when the thoughts and prayers get fired, too.
January 30, 2025 at 4:28 AM
We’re really going to be screwed when the thoughts and prayers get fired, too.
Reposted by Emma Kat
Sometimes you get in there so good with the Q-tip you need a cigarette afterwards.
January 30, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Sometimes you get in there so good with the Q-tip you need a cigarette afterwards.