Suzie
@suzieshooter.bsky.social
My mother, reading a label on a usb stick: It says 51XV, I don't know what that means.
Me: Can I see....? Yeah, that says NCIS, you've got it upside down.
Me: Can I see....? Yeah, that says NCIS, you've got it upside down.
June 7, 2025 at 8:30 PM
My mother, reading a label on a usb stick: It says 51XV, I don't know what that means.
Me: Can I see....? Yeah, that says NCIS, you've got it upside down.
Me: Can I see....? Yeah, that says NCIS, you've got it upside down.
Thought my neighbour was putting weedkiller on her lawn and flowerbed edges as they were all yellow and dead looking. Nope. Just witnessed her going at them....with a blowtorch.
May 15, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Thought my neighbour was putting weedkiller on her lawn and flowerbed edges as they were all yellow and dead looking. Nope. Just witnessed her going at them....with a blowtorch.
Reposted by Suzie
A warehouse only appears when there’s a full Moon, otherwise it’s a normal house.
May 13, 2025 at 3:48 PM
A warehouse only appears when there’s a full Moon, otherwise it’s a normal house.
Guy delivering this training just misread-out conscious objection as conscientious objection, I guess if you don't agree with the form of contract they send you a white feather or something idk
April 23, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Guy delivering this training just misread-out conscious objection as conscientious objection, I guess if you don't agree with the form of contract they send you a white feather or something idk
Group of small children at the station:
"If I was a worm would we still be friends?"
His mate: "I'd probably step on you to be honest."
"If I was a worm would we still be friends?"
His mate: "I'd probably step on you to be honest."
April 8, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Group of small children at the station:
"If I was a worm would we still be friends?"
His mate: "I'd probably step on you to be honest."
"If I was a worm would we still be friends?"
His mate: "I'd probably step on you to be honest."
Ah, nothing says welcome to the weekend like your groceries arriving covered in a large exploded pot of yoghurt.
March 29, 2025 at 10:17 AM
Ah, nothing says welcome to the weekend like your groceries arriving covered in a large exploded pot of yoghurt.
Lulu having a normal one.
March 24, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Lulu having a normal one.
Reposted by Suzie
Ok, we need a new James Bond AND a new Archbishop of Canterbury, and pretty soon it'll be time for another new Willy Wonka and a new Doctor Who. We need to economise. They should all be amalgamated into a single new character called Archdoctor Bondwonka.
February 22, 2025 at 9:25 AM
Ok, we need a new James Bond AND a new Archbishop of Canterbury, and pretty soon it'll be time for another new Willy Wonka and a new Doctor Who. We need to economise. They should all be amalgamated into a single new character called Archdoctor Bondwonka.
"Treats? Treats for Lulu? Treats now?"
February 21, 2025 at 10:55 AM
"Treats? Treats for Lulu? Treats now?"
My mother was bemoaning the frequency with which she saw a tv ad for an escort agency.
"...do you mean a dating app?"
"oh! yes probably."
"...do you mean a dating app?"
"oh! yes probably."
January 30, 2025 at 11:07 AM
My mother was bemoaning the frequency with which she saw a tv ad for an escort agency.
"...do you mean a dating app?"
"oh! yes probably."
"...do you mean a dating app?"
"oh! yes probably."
Just ticked off something from May 2023 on my work to-do list, how's your day going.
January 21, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Just ticked off something from May 2023 on my work to-do list, how's your day going.
Reposted by Suzie
He's hiring a ship
He's packing his cloak
He's moving to England
To follow some bloke
Dracula is coming to town
He's packing his cloak
He's moving to England
To follow some bloke
Dracula is coming to town
December 14, 2024 at 6:35 PM
He's hiring a ship
He's packing his cloak
He's moving to England
To follow some bloke
Dracula is coming to town
He's packing his cloak
He's moving to England
To follow some bloke
Dracula is coming to town
Typo of the week in this report I've just been sent: "Qualuty control"
December 11, 2024 at 3:08 PM
Typo of the week in this report I've just been sent: "Qualuty control"
'Sad death of a colleague' email at work makes particular mention of the deceased's infectious laugh. Not sure that was the *best* choice of words...
November 28, 2024 at 7:54 PM
'Sad death of a colleague' email at work makes particular mention of the deceased's infectious laugh. Not sure that was the *best* choice of words...
Reposted by Suzie
The Brian Blessed Dry Gin Martini
Ingredients:
Gordon’s
Olive
Ingredients:
Gordon’s
Olive
November 22, 2024 at 10:38 PM
The Brian Blessed Dry Gin Martini
Ingredients:
Gordon’s
Olive
Ingredients:
Gordon’s
Olive
Dear colleague, I think you meant to say bust a gut, not bust a nut, but thanks for the mental image.
November 22, 2024 at 12:00 PM
Dear colleague, I think you meant to say bust a gut, not bust a nut, but thanks for the mental image.
It is a wrapped in blankets kind of day.
November 19, 2024 at 11:48 AM
It is a wrapped in blankets kind of day.
Email at work titled "Celebrating Wins" and I read it as wines, so now I'm disappointed frankly.
November 18, 2024 at 9:32 AM
Email at work titled "Celebrating Wins" and I read it as wines, so now I'm disappointed frankly.
Lulu is 'helping' change the bedding.
November 17, 2024 at 1:17 PM
Lulu is 'helping' change the bedding.
There's a giant rat in my birdbath (not a euphemism).
November 15, 2024 at 3:23 PM
There's a giant rat in my birdbath (not a euphemism).
