Lance Carter
@standup-comedy.co.uk
I'm a standup comedian in London, but like one of the bad ones you see when your local pub does a free comedy night and you wish you'd just stayed in and watched Netflix instead.
This is Daisy and she absolutely LOVES voting for Reform.
November 20, 2025 at 6:30 PM
This is Daisy and she absolutely LOVES voting for Reform.
My wife thinks this is a perfectly suitable place to store a box of biscuits. Should I divorce her?
November 17, 2025 at 10:40 AM
My wife thinks this is a perfectly suitable place to store a box of biscuits. Should I divorce her?
Just play Hysteria ffs!
November 15, 2025 at 10:05 AM
Just play Hysteria ffs!
Today in Ambiguous Headlines....
November 7, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Today in Ambiguous Headlines....
Got up at 6am to stand on a bridge in the rain, watching old cars.
November 2, 2025 at 9:40 AM
Got up at 6am to stand on a bridge in the rain, watching old cars.
Irresponsibly posting my location on social media.
October 28, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Irresponsibly posting my location on social media.
Important news from Knutsford Motorway Services.
October 26, 2025 at 10:42 AM
Important news from Knutsford Motorway Services.
I did the same thing after necking three bottles of Kiwi flavour 20/20 in Jilly's Rockworld in 1993.
October 24, 2025 at 5:09 PM
I did the same thing after necking three bottles of Kiwi flavour 20/20 in Jilly's Rockworld in 1993.
Sorted out all the cables from that box in the garage. lmk if you ever need a micro-USB or Cat 6 Ethernet - got loads.
October 18, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Sorted out all the cables from that box in the garage. lmk if you ever need a micro-USB or Cat 6 Ethernet - got loads.
Another win for AI.
October 11, 2025 at 11:15 AM
Another win for AI.
Learn to farm, buy a shotgun, prepare for everything to go pear-shaped.
October 9, 2025 at 9:53 AM
Learn to farm, buy a shotgun, prepare for everything to go pear-shaped.
I swear after we all bought wide-screen TVs Hollywood must have started making everything even wider just to fuck with us. Why do we still have the black strips?
September 30, 2025 at 7:13 AM
I swear after we all bought wide-screen TVs Hollywood must have started making everything even wider just to fuck with us. Why do we still have the black strips?
...and I would like to invite *you* to a training course on basic email list segmentation.
September 17, 2025 at 8:09 AM
...and I would like to invite *you* to a training course on basic email list segmentation.
I've been buying CDs off eBay and fuck my life.
September 8, 2025 at 7:04 AM
I've been buying CDs off eBay and fuck my life.
Hahahaaaahaaahahahaahaaaaaaaaaaahahaha!
Fuck no, of course not.
Fuck no, of course not.
September 5, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Hahahaaaahaaahahahaahaaaaaaaaaaahahaha!
Fuck no, of course not.
Fuck no, of course not.
Never knew he had it in him.
September 4, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Never knew he had it in him.
Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago is completely free - and it's not like the museums and galleries in London, which are "free, but with fake ticket gates to guilt you into donating" - you can literally just walk right in and check out the Polar Bear.
August 27, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago is completely free - and it's not like the museums and galleries in London, which are "free, but with fake ticket gates to guilt you into donating" - you can literally just walk right in and check out the Polar Bear.
Does Gen Z think it invented the Poseur?
August 27, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Does Gen Z think it invented the Poseur?
Nerdy eldest son turned 15 while we were travelling across America this month, so for his birthday present we've taken him to see @twentysidedtavern.bsky.social in Chicago before we fly home tomorrow.
August 26, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Nerdy eldest son turned 15 while we were travelling across America this month, so for his birthday present we've taken him to see @twentysidedtavern.bsky.social in Chicago before we fly home tomorrow.
We've been travelling across Wyoming and South Dakota, listening to The Rest is History episodes on Little Big Horn and Wounded Knee along the way, so we had to visit at the (half complete) Crazy Horse Memorial today.
August 15, 2025 at 11:15 PM
We've been travelling across Wyoming and South Dakota, listening to The Rest is History episodes on Little Big Horn and Wounded Knee along the way, so we had to visit at the (half complete) Crazy Horse Memorial today.
Sadly, the sons still survive.
August 14, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Sadly, the sons still survive.
Last day in the Tetons. Sat by a riverbank at dusk for over an hour, and eventually saw a moose with her calf.
August 5, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Last day in the Tetons. Sat by a riverbank at dusk for over an hour, and eventually saw a moose with her calf.
This place is just ridiculously good looking.
August 4, 2025 at 3:04 PM
This place is just ridiculously good looking.