Steve
@soddit.bsky.social
Imperfect Christian. X-ile. Married, depression (not related), inappropriate, sweary. Big Skoda fan. 🇬🇧🏴🇪🇺 He/ Him/ Put it down, you’ll break it.
Reposted by Steve
JD Vance tucks his shirt under his chin and drops his trou and kex to his ankles when using a urinal.
March 5, 2025 at 4:42 PM
JD Vance tucks his shirt under his chin and drops his trou and kex to his ankles when using a urinal.
Think I wanna become a pirate. (A Jack Sparrow type, not a Somali speedboat type).
Are there classes?
Are there classes?
February 26, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Think I wanna become a pirate. (A Jack Sparrow type, not a Somali speedboat type).
Are there classes?
Are there classes?
I’ve just stood and watched as my wife opened a deliberately upturned bottle of kefir to get the dregs out.
And I watched her covered in the stuff.
And I laughed.
I’m making my own lunch.
And I watched her covered in the stuff.
And I laughed.
I’m making my own lunch.
February 23, 2025 at 1:16 PM
I’ve just stood and watched as my wife opened a deliberately upturned bottle of kefir to get the dregs out.
And I watched her covered in the stuff.
And I laughed.
I’m making my own lunch.
And I watched her covered in the stuff.
And I laughed.
I’m making my own lunch.
Me too, Steve Irwin… me too.
February 20, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Me too, Steve Irwin… me too.
I’m tired, and I’m tired of being tired. I work a 4/4, 48 hour week, up at 0400 for work. Last night, I went to bed at 2100. This morning I woke at 1130 with a banging head and a pain behind the eyes. I’m 55 y/o, I have hypertension and angina.
Yet, today, I have the urge to join a gym.
Yet, today, I have the urge to join a gym.
February 12, 2025 at 2:49 PM
I’m tired, and I’m tired of being tired. I work a 4/4, 48 hour week, up at 0400 for work. Last night, I went to bed at 2100. This morning I woke at 1130 with a banging head and a pain behind the eyes. I’m 55 y/o, I have hypertension and angina.
Yet, today, I have the urge to join a gym.
Yet, today, I have the urge to join a gym.
Reposted by Steve
Give yourself the gift of serenity 💟☮️
February 5, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Give yourself the gift of serenity 💟☮️
Reposted by Steve
Take me down to the pair of mice city,
Where they have two mice; it's a two mouse city
Where they have two mice; it's a two mouse city
July 22, 2023 at 11:38 PM
Take me down to the pair of mice city,
Where they have two mice; it's a two mouse city
Where they have two mice; it's a two mouse city
Guys, I had 14 hours sleep.
I feel… like another 14 hours sleep.
I feel… like another 14 hours sleep.
February 4, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Guys, I had 14 hours sleep.
I feel… like another 14 hours sleep.
I feel… like another 14 hours sleep.
Reposted by Steve
My screen saver has been replaced by a photo of fifteen black-shirted guys performing a stylised war dance.
I think I’m the victim of a computer haka.
#LunchPun
I think I’m the victim of a computer haka.
#LunchPun
January 30, 2025 at 12:27 PM
My screen saver has been replaced by a photo of fifteen black-shirted guys performing a stylised war dance.
I think I’m the victim of a computer haka.
#LunchPun
I think I’m the victim of a computer haka.
#LunchPun
Me: Sleep now, you need to be up at 0400
Brain: B U Y S O M E
S H I T O F F T E M U
Brain: B U Y S O M E
S H I T O F F T E M U
January 30, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Me: Sleep now, you need to be up at 0400
Brain: B U Y S O M E
S H I T O F F T E M U
Brain: B U Y S O M E
S H I T O F F T E M U
Reposted by Steve
Men At Work: Do you come from a land down under?
Moles: Yes.
Moles: Yes.
January 29, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Men At Work: Do you come from a land down under?
Moles: Yes.
Moles: Yes.
Reposted by Steve
Inventor of sparkling water: Hear me out; water, but it hurts.
January 27, 2025 at 11:22 AM
Inventor of sparkling water: Hear me out; water, but it hurts.
Things that have pissed me off so far:
*A scummer has dumped a sofa on the pavement at the top of our street. It’s blocking the entire walkway.
*A woman in the launderette has taken TWO dryers out of four. Lights in one, darks in the other. And she’s taking stuff from the dryers to fold them.
*A scummer has dumped a sofa on the pavement at the top of our street. It’s blocking the entire walkway.
*A woman in the launderette has taken TWO dryers out of four. Lights in one, darks in the other. And she’s taking stuff from the dryers to fold them.
January 27, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Things that have pissed me off so far:
*A scummer has dumped a sofa on the pavement at the top of our street. It’s blocking the entire walkway.
*A woman in the launderette has taken TWO dryers out of four. Lights in one, darks in the other. And she’s taking stuff from the dryers to fold them.
*A scummer has dumped a sofa on the pavement at the top of our street. It’s blocking the entire walkway.
*A woman in the launderette has taken TWO dryers out of four. Lights in one, darks in the other. And she’s taking stuff from the dryers to fold them.
Right, I need suggestions for improving my posture.
Male, mid-50s, drive for a living, current shape: croissant.
Male, mid-50s, drive for a living, current shape: croissant.
January 24, 2025 at 9:34 AM
Right, I need suggestions for improving my posture.
Male, mid-50s, drive for a living, current shape: croissant.
Male, mid-50s, drive for a living, current shape: croissant.
Dear Mancunians,
I love you all dearly, but please, give a man a chance and use your indicators! Please?
Sincerely,
An Out-Of-Towner
I love you all dearly, but please, give a man a chance and use your indicators! Please?
Sincerely,
An Out-Of-Towner
January 23, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Dear Mancunians,
I love you all dearly, but please, give a man a chance and use your indicators! Please?
Sincerely,
An Out-Of-Towner
I love you all dearly, but please, give a man a chance and use your indicators! Please?
Sincerely,
An Out-Of-Towner
Reposted by Steve
To all the Twats who think taxpayers can’t afford to keep funding the NHS…
If it is privatised
Your taxes won’t go down
And your healthcare costs will go up
Can taxpayers afford that?
If it is privatised
Your taxes won’t go down
And your healthcare costs will go up
Can taxpayers afford that?
January 22, 2025 at 9:08 AM
To all the Twats who think taxpayers can’t afford to keep funding the NHS…
If it is privatised
Your taxes won’t go down
And your healthcare costs will go up
Can taxpayers afford that?
If it is privatised
Your taxes won’t go down
And your healthcare costs will go up
Can taxpayers afford that?
I’ve just had an old friend call round for a coffee. For 90 minutes we chatted and shared old memories. He’s gone now and I am exhausted! I never thought I’d be at the point where this sort of socialising wore me out, but here we are. I need a nap now.
January 21, 2025 at 11:41 AM
I’ve just had an old friend call round for a coffee. For 90 minutes we chatted and shared old memories. He’s gone now and I am exhausted! I never thought I’d be at the point where this sort of socialising wore me out, but here we are. I need a nap now.
I think 15 hours of this “bing awake” nonsense is quite enough. I’m off to bed.
For full disclosure, I didn’t watch a single second of the “inauguration” either. The fat prick.
G’night Bloobs.
For full disclosure, I didn’t watch a single second of the “inauguration” either. The fat prick.
G’night Bloobs.
January 20, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I think 15 hours of this “bing awake” nonsense is quite enough. I’m off to bed.
For full disclosure, I didn’t watch a single second of the “inauguration” either. The fat prick.
G’night Bloobs.
For full disclosure, I didn’t watch a single second of the “inauguration” either. The fat prick.
G’night Bloobs.
Reposted by Steve
🍬 When I start running out of sweets, I transfer them into a smaller bowl to make it look like they are overflowing 🍬
Same principle applies to inaugurations.
Same principle applies to inaugurations.
January 18, 2025 at 7:05 AM
🍬 When I start running out of sweets, I transfer them into a smaller bowl to make it look like they are overflowing 🍬
Same principle applies to inaugurations.
Same principle applies to inaugurations.
Genuine question:
Is it possible to be content in one’s misery? Happiest when one is fractious?
Is it possible to be content in one’s misery? Happiest when one is fractious?
January 18, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Genuine question:
Is it possible to be content in one’s misery? Happiest when one is fractious?
Is it possible to be content in one’s misery? Happiest when one is fractious?
Reposted by Steve
CAREERS ADVISOR: And what do you want to do when you’re older, Stacey?
STACEY SOLOMON: Right. Bear with me. This might take a bit of explaining.
STACEY SOLOMON: Right. Bear with me. This might take a bit of explaining.
January 13, 2025 at 2:34 PM
CAREERS ADVISOR: And what do you want to do when you’re older, Stacey?
STACEY SOLOMON: Right. Bear with me. This might take a bit of explaining.
STACEY SOLOMON: Right. Bear with me. This might take a bit of explaining.
Just heard “Raise Your Glass” by Pink for the first time in years. It’s quite the banger isn’t it?
January 13, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Just heard “Raise Your Glass” by Pink for the first time in years. It’s quite the banger isn’t it?
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
January 9, 2025 at 8:24 AM
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Reposted by Steve
