The neurodivergent urge to be hugged as tightly as Ann-Katrin Berger hugs the ball when catching it

#frauenEM

New way to identify the masc in queer couples: "So which of you tries to explain the offsides rule, and which of you gets more confused the more they learn about it?"

(This "rule" still makes no sense to me. Please do not try to explain it unless your brain works exactly the same way mine does.)

Happy "Try to do something nice for your mother and get a passive aggressive response about how there are 364 other days in the year in which you could also be nice to her on" Day!

There are two wolves inside of you. One is looking at your WIP and saying "It's going to look so cool when it's done!" The other is running around in circles screaming about the fact that it is not done yet and will not do itself.

Me: I prefer crochet because it goes so much faster than knitting!

Also me, doing 32 rows of sc blo that were included in the design by none other than, you guessed it, me:

I thought I had plenty of money in my account but then the electric company's autopay hit. Bill issue.

THIRTEEN TWENTY-EIGHT DAY MONTHS. 364 DAYS. THE 365TH DAY IS A GLOBAL CELEBRATION. #FIXTHEMONTHS

I thought I was straight for years just cause I assumed everyone found women hot. Still in doubt that this is not true.

Wicked was even more incredible the second time around and I need it to come out on DVD ASAP so that I can watch it every week until Part 2 is released

Random guy near me at the train station [in German]: Dude, what's that word for when, like, your automatic payment charges but you don't have enough money to cover it? I know there's a word for it.

Me [too tipsy to come up with the word in German but tipsy enough to talk to a stranger]: Broke. 😂

Finally feeling like I have a real grown-up job. For the first time ever I came out of a meeting going "Okay that really could have just been an email".

Me on here a year ago: OMG a new follower! Who's come over from the hellsite this time?

Me on here this week: OMG a new follower! What kind of bot/asshole do I get to block today?

Me: OMG you are being such an ass right now

My cat, staring me in the eyes as he pushes something off the dresser: hee haw motherfucker

Me, in the living room: Are you just going to sit there sadly until someone feeds you? Because you'll be waiting for a while if so.

@jfhobbit.bsky.social, from the kitchen: What, no, I'm going to feed myself, I just got distracted -

Me: ... Babe, I was talking to the cat.

Being a crafter: I and only I get to decide the parameters of this project!

Being the same crafter, half an hour later: What asshole set the parameters for this stupid project

German winter sun is like a newly gay person. Hesitant to come out, should be welcomed with open arms.

Me: The Herdplatte on the right is still hot, don't touch it.

My not-yet-fully-bilingual wife @jfhobbit.bsky.social: ??!?

Me: The, the, the stovetop circle. What's it called?

Wife: The burner?

Me: Yes, that! Except it doesn't actually burn. [Our stove is electric] The glower, then.

Wife: ...