Where is Smithereens?

Me as im spreading miss information: So 😏 is there a Mister information?

You are over 29 years old. You cannot "get jiggy with a McRib" anymore.

I'm deadnaming the gulf of mexico

Do men know that they're allowed to be bisexual without being poly? Or do they think the two are the same?

#chatgpt is down i am going to shoot myself in the face. It's 4.30am and I need to do homework (no I don't want to use my own brain)

Whenever I read a book that had characters described as having "olive skin" I straight up just thought they were green without questioning it

Ey Leute kennt ihr Nickerchen machen?? Geil. Einfach, GEIL! 🗣️MEINE MEINUNG🗣️

I feel like I used to see blimps all the time as a kid, has anyone noticed we barely see blimps anymore? Where are the blimps?

once when i was high i got the munchies so bad i tried to shotgun a can of soup

The weed number is now 582 due to inflation

I would simply not go on LinkedIn.

imagine hating on me and I'm just in my room performing nicki's verse in monster to my stuffed animals like my life depends on it

How it feels to make it through January 2025 and you realize somehow there's still one more week left

Elon Musk airlifted to the hospital with severe burns after attempting to impregnate a toaster

Making a prediction: The first female US president to be elected will be a white Republican, who is so absolutely comically evil and alt-right beyond anyone's current comprehension, and they'll justify everything she says and does with "but she's a woman ✨🎀💅🏻 therefore we're progressive"

From the Twitter archives.

jorjor wel