Dwight Schrute
@sirbrianoftx.bsky.social
Assistant Regional Manager at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. I am proficient in karate and could easily physically dominate you.
Pinned
Showing one's teeth is a sign of weakness among primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.
17 Republicans voted yes to extend ACA subsidies.
17 Republicans just abandoned the Trumptanic.
17 Republicans just abandoned the Trumptanic.
a large ship with smoke coming out of the chimneys is floating in the ocean
ALT: a large ship with smoke coming out of the chimneys is floating in the ocean
media.tenor.com
January 8, 2026 at 11:45 PM
17 Republicans voted yes to extend ACA subsidies.
17 Republicans just abandoned the Trumptanic.
17 Republicans just abandoned the Trumptanic.
I am fascinated with the topic of whether or not aliens helped build the pyramids. 🤣🤣 Oh I'm high.
January 8, 2026 at 11:35 PM
I am fascinated with the topic of whether or not aliens helped build the pyramids. 🤣🤣 Oh I'm high.
Reposted by Dwight Schrute
Three year extension of ACA subsidies passes in the House
January 8, 2026 at 10:24 PM
Three year extension of ACA subsidies passes in the House
When the edible hits hard and fast.
a man in armor with the words so it begins
ALT: a man in armor with the words so it begins
media.tenor.com
January 8, 2026 at 11:03 PM
When the edible hits hard and fast.
The news today literally makes my stomach turn man.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡🤬
This is why every day after work I like to get high and watch sitcoms.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡🤬
This is why every day after work I like to get high and watch sitcoms.
leonardo the teenage mutant ninja turtle is sitting under a tree in the woods .
ALT: leonardo the teenage mutant ninja turtle is sitting under a tree in the woods .
media.tenor.com
January 7, 2026 at 9:42 PM
The news today literally makes my stomach turn man.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡🤬
This is why every day after work I like to get high and watch sitcoms.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡🤬
This is why every day after work I like to get high and watch sitcoms.
Reposted by Dwight Schrute
🚨BREAKING🚨
I just released the full report on Congress trading in 2025.
Like every year since 2020, some politicians beat the market.
Many had unusual trades.
Some had huge gains.
Here are the top political traders of 2025.
I just released the full report on Congress trading in 2025.
Like every year since 2020, some politicians beat the market.
Many had unusual trades.
Some had huge gains.
Here are the top political traders of 2025.
January 7, 2026 at 5:16 PM
🚨BREAKING🚨
I just released the full report on Congress trading in 2025.
Like every year since 2020, some politicians beat the market.
Many had unusual trades.
Some had huge gains.
Here are the top political traders of 2025.
I just released the full report on Congress trading in 2025.
Like every year since 2020, some politicians beat the market.
Many had unusual trades.
Some had huge gains.
Here are the top political traders of 2025.
Reposted by Dwight Schrute
January 7, 2026 at 10:54 AM
Oil is at $60/barrel. That's not enough incentive to rebuild Venezuela oil infrastructure.
January 6, 2026 at 11:56 PM
Oil is at $60/barrel. That's not enough incentive to rebuild Venezuela oil infrastructure.
I challenge you to not stare at this for less than 30 seconds.
a gazelle is eating a bowl of popcorn and looking at the camera
ALT: a gazelle is eating a bowl of popcorn and looking at the camera
media.tenor.com
January 6, 2026 at 11:49 PM
I challenge you to not stare at this for less than 30 seconds.
Man, I hope this doesn't turn into all out nuclear apocalypse.
a cat is sitting in a chair with a bag of lays chips and a bottle of pepsi
ALT: a cat is sitting in a chair with a bag of lays chips and a bottle of pepsi
media.tenor.com
January 6, 2026 at 11:38 PM
Man, I hope this doesn't turn into all out nuclear apocalypse.
Blink twice if you are in danger. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
a man with a beard wearing a headband is holding a pair of scissors .
ALT: a man with a beard wearing a headband is holding a pair of scissors .
media.tenor.com
January 6, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Blink twice if you are in danger. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So, how many new years resolutions have you guys broken already?
a man in a black shirt is drinking from a clear glass
ALT: a man in a black shirt is drinking from a clear glass
media.tenor.com
January 6, 2026 at 11:21 PM
So, how many new years resolutions have you guys broken already?
@ccscott.bsky.social breaker 1-9 good buddy! You got your ears on? 🤣
a man is sitting in the driver 's seat of a truck with his hand in the air
ALT: a man is sitting in the driver 's seat of a truck with his hand in the air
media.tenor.com
January 6, 2026 at 11:19 PM
@ccscott.bsky.social breaker 1-9 good buddy! You got your ears on? 🤣
If the good Lord is real, now would be a great time for him to come on down and straighten the world out. Stop all the wars, killings, and make sure not one person on this planet goes without. ✌️
That was my moment of seriousness for the day, time to get high. 😆
That was my moment of seriousness for the day, time to get high. 😆
January 6, 2026 at 10:37 PM
If the good Lord is real, now would be a great time for him to come on down and straighten the world out. Stop all the wars, killings, and make sure not one person on this planet goes without. ✌️
That was my moment of seriousness for the day, time to get high. 😆
That was my moment of seriousness for the day, time to get high. 😆
At the height of the Vietnam war, there were 500,000 US troops in Vietnam. Nothing is going to change in Venezuela.
January 6, 2026 at 9:48 PM
At the height of the Vietnam war, there were 500,000 US troops in Vietnam. Nothing is going to change in Venezuela.
Seriously, how in the fuck has the economy not collapsed yet?
Trump is cutting over $10B in social services and child care funding from Democratic-led states, claiming he is preventing fraud. About $7.35B will be blocked from California, Colorado, Illinois, Minnesota, and New York.
newrepublic.com/post/204942/...
newrepublic.com/post/204942/...
Trump to Cut Off Funding to Minnesota and Four Other Blue States
Donald Trump is taking revenge on blue states that didn’t vote for him.
newrepublic.com
January 6, 2026 at 9:18 PM
Seriously, how in the fuck has the economy not collapsed yet?
🤣🤣 The Guardian be like.."where is it"
Donald Trump promised a new ‘golden age’ for the US economy. Where is it?
Most Americans have yet to see this boom – but they’ve certainly heard a lot about it from the president
share.google
January 6, 2026 at 5:06 PM
🤣🤣 The Guardian be like.."where is it"
😆👍
I present to you a workable plan for sustained global peace and prosperity.
January 6, 2026 at 3:13 PM
😆👍
Reposted by Dwight Schrute
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
January 5, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
BlueSky, this is your captain speaking. I ate 2 gummies, and we are going to be landing in the Hudson.
a close up of a man talking on a cell phone with clideo.com at the bottom of the screen
ALT: a close up of a man talking on a cell phone with clideo.com at the bottom of the screen
media.tenor.com
January 6, 2026 at 12:22 AM
BlueSky, this is your captain speaking. I ate 2 gummies, and we are going to be landing in the Hudson.
Oh boy, that was too many gummies.
a man wearing a baseball cap is sitting on a couch with the word welp written above him .
ALT: a man wearing a baseball cap is sitting on a couch with the word welp written above him .
media.tenor.com
January 6, 2026 at 12:06 AM
Oh boy, that was too many gummies.
OoOoOoley shnikeys I am high! 🤣🤣🤣
a race car is driving down a track with spike written on the bottom of the screen
ALT: a race car is driving down a track with spike written on the bottom of the screen
media.tenor.com
January 5, 2026 at 11:52 PM
OoOoOoley shnikeys I am high! 🤣🤣🤣
I just wanted healthcare and legalized marijuana.
January 5, 2026 at 11:47 PM
I just wanted healthcare and legalized marijuana.