Sharkey 🦈
@sharkey.bsky.social
Sharkey is a fictional character. Cautionary example that assholes might mistake for cool. Did not not invent the word "Metroidvania."
Pinned
Keep waking up from sexy dreams but every time I stab someone exploitation flick teasers come up like
BORN TO SLUT
BUT
RAISED TO KILL
and I'm just okay rude
BORN TO SLUT
BUT
RAISED TO KILL
and I'm just okay rude
November 15, 2025 at 9:41 AM
Keep waking up from sexy dreams but every time I stab someone exploitation flick teasers come up like
BORN TO SLUT
BUT
RAISED TO KILL
and I'm just okay rude
BORN TO SLUT
BUT
RAISED TO KILL
and I'm just okay rude
Castlevania was kind of on the nose about how middle aged zoomers are gonna look, huh
November 13, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Castlevania was kind of on the nose about how middle aged zoomers are gonna look, huh
Reposted by Sharkey 🦈
Missed opportunity to make the box orange and put all the 3s on it.
November 12, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Missed opportunity to make the box orange and put all the 3s on it.
It's a zergling, Lester. A smaller type of zerg.
November 10, 2025 at 7:24 AM
It's a zergling, Lester. A smaller type of zerg.
BREAKING: Moral cowards steal defeat from the jaws of victory while cheered by bright eyed liars and titans of inner filth as the streets run red with the blood of the innocent. Next: sports and weather.
November 10, 2025 at 4:21 AM
BREAKING: Moral cowards steal defeat from the jaws of victory while cheered by bright eyed liars and titans of inner filth as the streets run red with the blood of the innocent. Next: sports and weather.
I have no mouth and I must kiss.
November 10, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I have no mouth and I must kiss.
It's super cool that everyone in government, on both sides of the aisle, can come together to peaceably agree that they should all be hanged by the neck until dead.
November 10, 2025 at 1:35 AM
It's super cool that everyone in government, on both sides of the aisle, can come together to peaceably agree that they should all be hanged by the neck until dead.
I try not to generally bitch about boomers but asked my uncle for a photo of grandad and he sends a photo of a screenshot of a screenshot. Like, you can count the rings on this like it's a fuckin tree. Dude looks like a Fallout 4 character.
November 10, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I try not to generally bitch about boomers but asked my uncle for a photo of grandad and he sends a photo of a screenshot of a screenshot. Like, you can count the rings on this like it's a fuckin tree. Dude looks like a Fallout 4 character.
Your body is like a haunted amusement park. It was fun until a bunch of kids died in there.
November 9, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Your body is like a haunted amusement park. It was fun until a bunch of kids died in there.
GAME OVER
RETURN OF BRUNO
RETURN OF BRUNO
November 9, 2025 at 3:39 AM
GAME OVER
RETURN OF BRUNO
RETURN OF BRUNO
All the corny ass 90s-00s movies that were like "the internet is awful and also probably has ghosts in it" were absolutely fucking right and get more right with every passing year.
November 8, 2025 at 9:26 PM
All the corny ass 90s-00s movies that were like "the internet is awful and also probably has ghosts in it" were absolutely fucking right and get more right with every passing year.
when I get a bunch of complaints about a comic being "blasphemous"
November 6, 2025 at 2:17 AM
when I get a bunch of complaints about a comic being "blasphemous"
turned everything on to winterize. forgot I had the tape deck on blast and between purple haze and all the hydraulics and engine noise the potato is like excuse me what the fuck
November 4, 2025 at 12:12 AM
turned everything on to winterize. forgot I had the tape deck on blast and between purple haze and all the hydraulics and engine noise the potato is like excuse me what the fuck
please don't rope me into this shit again.
November 3, 2025 at 9:56 PM
please don't rope me into this shit again.
I really miss the 70s movie tradition of depicting cops as racist buffoons that exist to get dunked on. (3/4s of which were played by Clifton James.)
November 2, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I really miss the 70s movie tradition of depicting cops as racist buffoons that exist to get dunked on. (3/4s of which were played by Clifton James.)
halloween is great cus you can go out as doctor who and go home with an amethyst and somewhere a writer of very specific smutfic gets a hotflash and they don't know why
November 1, 2025 at 4:34 AM
halloween is great cus you can go out as doctor who and go home with an amethyst and somewhere a writer of very specific smutfic gets a hotflash and they don't know why
I'd like to think I could just fix all this if I were made dictator of everything but I've also played enough sims to know that I'd turn into that dickhead guy from Aeon Flux in like a week. Today everyone gets neural parasites. Okay I'm bored, now we're doing a virus that makes you time travel.
October 31, 2025 at 1:09 AM
I'd like to think I could just fix all this if I were made dictator of everything but I've also played enough sims to know that I'd turn into that dickhead guy from Aeon Flux in like a week. Today everyone gets neural parasites. Okay I'm bored, now we're doing a virus that makes you time travel.
So sometimes I have to put this down flat to make the bed or whatever but he doesn't understand that it doesn't work when it's on the ground. He goes to the end and gets a running start and just bounces off the edge of the bed and lies there looking confused.
October 29, 2025 at 8:11 PM
So sometimes I have to put this down flat to make the bed or whatever but he doesn't understand that it doesn't work when it's on the ground. He goes to the end and gets a running start and just bounces off the edge of the bed and lies there looking confused.
A cop once gave me an IQ test where I had to walk in a line and follow his finger with my eyes. It proved I'm so smart that it's illegal to arrest me.
October 28, 2025 at 4:41 AM
A cop once gave me an IQ test where I had to walk in a line and follow his finger with my eyes. It proved I'm so smart that it's illegal to arrest me.
I like getting smacked around a little but I have to put the pets outside cus the dog is all "oh noooooo" and the cat is like "FUCK YEAH GET HIS ASS"
October 25, 2025 at 5:59 PM
I like getting smacked around a little but I have to put the pets outside cus the dog is all "oh noooooo" and the cat is like "FUCK YEAH GET HIS ASS"
Okay, the riffs are fun but I'm gonna be that asshole. If it's real that shit was in a window for like twenty years. It has nothing to do with smoking.
Back when I had my shop I'd get the nastiest smoker home shit that'd be white as the driven snow, and yellowed units that were otherwise pristine.
Back when I had my shop I'd get the nastiest smoker home shit that'd be white as the driven snow, and yellowed units that were otherwise pristine.
ive never in my entire life seen plastic yellow this bad. this saturn smokes two packs a day
October 25, 2025 at 8:13 AM
Okay, the riffs are fun but I'm gonna be that asshole. If it's real that shit was in a window for like twenty years. It has nothing to do with smoking.
Back when I had my shop I'd get the nastiest smoker home shit that'd be white as the driven snow, and yellowed units that were otherwise pristine.
Back when I had my shop I'd get the nastiest smoker home shit that'd be white as the driven snow, and yellowed units that were otherwise pristine.
When the demon face that lives in your left hand pipes up like "yo, you've got sun poisoning, idiot" you might have sun poisoning, idiot.
October 24, 2025 at 9:29 PM
When the demon face that lives in your left hand pipes up like "yo, you've got sun poisoning, idiot" you might have sun poisoning, idiot.