Sharkey ๐Ÿฆˆ
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sharkey.bsky.social
Sharkey ๐Ÿฆˆ
@sharkey.bsky.social
Sharkey is a fictional character. Cautionary example that assholes might mistake for cool. Did not not invent the word "Metroidvania."
Pinned
*whispering* "gay?"

"I guarantee I've slept with more guys than both of you put together."

:O :O
January 7, 2026 at 9:41 PM
Whole damn family in one place and got their laundry mixed up. Nieces arguing about whose hot pink pirate flag booty shorts are these.

*Plucks them off the pile*
"Those are mine."

:o :o
January 7, 2026 at 9:38 PM
January 7, 2026 at 8:56 AM
January 7, 2026 at 5:55 AM
Yeah, probably time to buy a boat.
January 7, 2026 at 12:20 AM
I feel like living in a bus may be cheating.
January 6, 2026 at 10:02 PM
Yeah, I had a minute of like, this is a hells of weird thing to be calling each other nazis over. Scrolling like a dozen more replies and oh, this is a fuckin op. Chrissake.
January 6, 2026 at 9:44 PM
Waking up and frantically googling some shit at five AM

"Wtf are you doing?"

"I have to know if the bee girl is alright"

"From the blind melon video?"

"yeah..."

"Oh. How is she?"

"she's fine, she's like forty and works in a fertility clinic"

"Oh good."

Zzzzzzz
January 6, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Uppies?
January 4, 2026 at 8:01 AM
I saw so many rattlesnakes and also a dragon.
January 4, 2026 at 5:17 AM
EHEHEHEHEHE
January 4, 2026 at 5:07 AM
I mean, I'm right here but okay.
January 4, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Man that bit where she spits on a dead dude and rides off grinning like a maniac is like the exact moment of my sexual awakening
January 4, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Hey if all you want is absolutely dogshit ideas and dumb shit from dreams I've got a backlog
January 4, 2026 at 4:06 AM
It requires holding one shoulder button for missiles, holding fire, jump, then hold the other shoulder to angle the shot, then release fire while still holding the other three. You get used to it, but it's dogshit.
January 4, 2026 at 2:22 AM
Nah it's cool I still double tap dash in fuckin minecraft
January 4, 2026 at 1:59 AM
I MUST FIND A MORE SUITABLE HOST BODY
January 4, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Jumping angled charge missile in fusion was some bullshit made up by an asshole octopus.
January 4, 2026 at 1:44 AM
You really do
January 3, 2026 at 6:30 PM
Today seems like a good day to wander out into the desert and smoke an absolute shitload of hash.

I mean, every day is but today is too.
January 3, 2026 at 6:17 PM
ยฌ_ยฌ
quick strangle 2026 while it's still small and helpless
January 3, 2026 at 6:07 PM
A whole lot of window licking dipshits:
January 3, 2026 at 5:41 PM
That sounds rad. I haven't coded so much as a demo since the 90s but I could probably crack together something real stupid. Once things get a little less bullshit around here, anyway. Or at least between emergencies.
January 3, 2026 at 5:04 PM
I don't know what any of these words mean and also I can hear colors.
January 1, 2026 at 10:22 AM
quick strangle 2026 while it's still small and helpless
January 1, 2026 at 8:08 AM