Carlos Greaves
@shadesofgreaves.bsky.social
I satirize stuff | Columnist @mcsweeneys.net | Check out my newsletter for humor with heart in your inbox 👇🏾 shadesofgreaves.substack.com
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
Apropos of, uh, everything, here's a spoof toy ad by me and @jlongo.bsky.social for the latest edition of @currentaffairs.bsky.social
November 11, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Apropos of, uh, everything, here's a spoof toy ad by me and @jlongo.bsky.social for the latest edition of @currentaffairs.bsky.social
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
"Now, my fellow wealthy serial molesters and I have no choice but to move our ill-reputed businesses elsewhere while we find other towns full of unsuspecting women to harass." Pitch perfect, @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social!!
"Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer a city where everyday residents have to work three jobs and are under constant threat of eviction. Anything short of an excruciating existence for the working class just doesn’t cut it for me."
If New York City Is No Longer Going to Be an Unaffordable Police State Run by Crooks, I’m Taking My Hard-Earned Sex-Pest Dollars Elsewhere
“New York millionaires are plotting their exit from the city after the election of Zohran Mamdani, the socialist who plans to increase the taxes of...
buff.ly
November 6, 2025 at 8:51 PM
"Now, my fellow wealthy serial molesters and I have no choice but to move our ill-reputed businesses elsewhere while we find other towns full of unsuspecting women to harass." Pitch perfect, @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social!!
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
New Carlos Greaves just dropped. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/we-...
We Don’t Need the Voting Rights Act Anymore, and You Can Tell by How Great Race Relations Are in America Right Now
“The U.S. Supreme Court, hearing arguments Wednesday over a core provision of the Voting Rights Act, appeared inclined to limit the use of the land...
www.mcsweeneys.net
October 17, 2025 at 6:24 PM
New Carlos Greaves just dropped. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/we-...
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
The revolution will not be televised but it *will* be led by @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social
"If you think one guy working on a 2019 MacBook Air can’t give weather updates to the entire country, think again."
To Better Prepare for Extreme Weather, We Fired Everyone at NOAA and Replaced Them with a Guy Named Noah
“Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem slammed the ‘ancient system’ used to warn the public of potential weather threats — and vowed the Trump ad...
buff.ly
July 13, 2025 at 12:51 PM
The revolution will not be televised but it *will* be led by @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social
“War is Peace” is an interesting strategy. Why does that sound so familiar? Where have I heard that before?
June 22, 2025 at 4:54 PM
“War is Peace” is an interesting strategy. Why does that sound so familiar? Where have I heard that before?
I was blown away this morning seeing that three of my pieces are simultaneously trending on @mcsweeneys.net but I’m equally blown away to be in such amazing company with this brilliant piece by @marawilson.bsky.social
June 16, 2025 at 2:14 PM
I was blown away this morning seeing that three of my pieces are simultaneously trending on @mcsweeneys.net but I’m equally blown away to be in such amazing company with this brilliant piece by @marawilson.bsky.social
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
So thankful we have @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social writing for us. He came through yet again with another banger today.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-s...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-s...
I, Saruman, Have Ended My Alliance with the Dark Lord Sauron
“Last year, two mercurial billionaires formed a partnership and vowed to drive the country in a new direction. Donald Trump had the political power...
www.mcsweeneys.net
June 6, 2025 at 6:00 PM
So thankful we have @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social writing for us. He came through yet again with another banger today.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-s...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-s...
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
"Just think of how much better off the people of Greenland will be once they’re Americans, and are therefore no longer saddled with 'Nanny State' programs like paid family leave, free healthcare, or access to reproductive care."
We’re Committed to Brokering Peace in Ukraine; Also We’re Invading Greenland
“Danish Foreign Minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen chastised U.S. officials following a trip by Vice President J.D. Vance to Greenland, saying the count...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 2, 2025 at 6:30 PM
"Just think of how much better off the people of Greenland will be once they’re Americans, and are therefore no longer saddled with 'Nanny State' programs like paid family leave, free healthcare, or access to reproductive care."
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
"This change is just the nail in the coffin of a carefully calculated plan to turn the United States into the tin-pot dictatorship of my dreams. It’s definitely not because I’m scared of any investigations the DOJ’s antitrust division may or may not launch."
“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal
“Jeff Bezos, the owner of the Washington Post, announced a major shift to the newspaper’s opinion section on Wednesday, saying it would now advocat...
buff.ly
February 27, 2025 at 4:19 PM
"This change is just the nail in the coffin of a carefully calculated plan to turn the United States into the tin-pot dictatorship of my dreams. It’s definitely not because I’m scared of any investigations the DOJ’s antitrust division may or may not launch."
So thrilled for this opportunity to do more of my favorite type of writing — satirizing powerful assholes
Please welcome our new resident columnist, Carlos Greaves (@shadesofgreaves.bsky.social). Carlos has been a legendary contributor to McSweeney's for years, and he'll be writing even more topical satire and funny pieces for our site now. We are thrilled to have him on board!
https://buff.ly/3EV2kFL
https://buff.ly/3EV2kFL
February 27, 2025 at 12:45 AM
So thrilled for this opportunity to do more of my favorite type of writing — satirizing powerful assholes
Read my latest in @mcsweeneys.net to learn about the government’s brilliant new hiring system that’s replacing DEI www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wev...
We’ve Replaced the Government’s Hiring Criteria with a Better, Fairer System: Hiring Whoever Yells the Loudest
“The Trump administration’s pick for FBI deputy director is Dan Bongino, a former U.S. Secret Service agent-turned-conservative commentator whose f...
www.mcsweeneys.net
February 26, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Read my latest in @mcsweeneys.net to learn about the government’s brilliant new hiring system that’s replacing DEI www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wev...
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
"For years, the federal government hired people for all the wrong reasons. It filtered candidates based on integrity, experience, and diversity of perspective. The new administration is replacing this approach with a better, fairer system: hiring whoever yells the loudest."
We’ve Replaced the Government’s Hiring Criteria with a Better, Fairer System: Hiring Whoever Yells the Loudest
“The Trump administration’s pick for FBI deputy director is Dan Bongino, a former U.S. Secret Service agent-turned-conservative commentator whose f...
buff.ly
February 26, 2025 at 2:20 AM
"For years, the federal government hired people for all the wrong reasons. It filtered candidates based on integrity, experience, and diversity of perspective. The new administration is replacing this approach with a better, fairer system: hiring whoever yells the loudest."
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
"We didn’t become the greatest shirtwaist factory in the world by resting on our laurels. That’s why we’ve brought in a new efficiency czar, Noel Skum, whose job is to cut unnecessary spending and roll back overly restrictive safety regulations."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tha...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tha...
Thanks to Our New Efficiency Czar, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Is Saving More Money Than Ever
“Trump administration officials fired more than 300 staffers Thursday night at the National Nuclear Security Administration…. Sources told CNN the ...
www.mcsweeneys.net
February 19, 2025 at 2:38 AM
"We didn’t become the greatest shirtwaist factory in the world by resting on our laurels. That’s why we’ve brought in a new efficiency czar, Noel Skum, whose job is to cut unnecessary spending and roll back overly restrictive safety regulations."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tha...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tha...
Excited to have this piece in @mcsweeneys.net today that’s definitely about early 20th century fire safety and not about anything going on today www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tha...
Thanks to Our New Efficiency Czar, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Is Saving More Money Than Ever
“Trump administration officials fired more than 300 staffers Thursday night at the National Nuclear Security Administration…. Sources told CNN the ...
www.mcsweeneys.net
February 19, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Excited to have this piece in @mcsweeneys.net today that’s definitely about early 20th century fire safety and not about anything going on today www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tha...
Sure, we gave up all our civil liberties, but at least eggs are twice as expensive now
January 27, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Sure, we gave up all our civil liberties, but at least eggs are twice as expensive now
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
Am I laughing or crying? Spoiler: both! @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social, this is amazing!!!!
"Before you can write professionally, you must first learn the rules so that you can break the rules, then fix the rules, then send an invoice to the rules for the repair costs."
How to Become a Professional Writer
Do you enjoy writing? Do you like the idea of taking the thing you love doing the most in the world and turning it into work? So that your access t...
buff.ly
January 21, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Am I laughing or crying? Spoiler: both! @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social, this is amazing!!!!
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
Funny and wicked true Boston road signs ⚠️ by @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social
"Two-Way Traffic On Tiny One-Lane Street Ahead"
Massachusetts Road Signs
Massachusetts<br> Road Signs
buff.ly
January 15, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Funny and wicked true Boston road signs ⚠️ by @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social
Republicans after a mass shooting: We shouldn’t politicize tragedies
Republicans after a wildfire: This wildfire was because of woke
Republicans after a wildfire: This wildfire was because of woke
January 12, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Republicans after a mass shooting: We shouldn’t politicize tragedies
Republicans after a wildfire: This wildfire was because of woke
Republicans after a wildfire: This wildfire was because of woke
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
Love this 100% true Boston-centric @mcsweeneys.net piece from @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social.
"Two-Way Traffic On Tiny One-Lane Street Ahead"
Massachusetts Road Signs
Massachusetts<br> Road Signs
buff.ly
January 11, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Love this 100% true Boston-centric @mcsweeneys.net piece from @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social.
Reposted by Carlos Greaves
"Two-Way Traffic On Tiny One-Lane Street Ahead"
Massachusetts Road Signs
Massachusetts<br> Road Signs
buff.ly
January 10, 2025 at 7:32 PM
"Two-Way Traffic On Tiny One-Lane Street Ahead"
If Massachusetts road signs were accurate, a 🧵 @mcsweeneys.net
January 10, 2025 at 8:52 PM
If Massachusetts road signs were accurate, a 🧵 @mcsweeneys.net
When the Washington Post said “Democracy Dies in Darkness,” I didn’t realize they were telling us their end goal.
January 4, 2025 at 10:37 PM
When the Washington Post said “Democracy Dies in Darkness,” I didn’t realize they were telling us their end goal.
Why does every story have to be “Chosen One Saves the World” or “Two People Fall In Love”? Why can’t a story just be “Guy Gets a Cat and His Life Improves Somewhat.”
January 4, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Why does every story have to be “Chosen One Saves the World” or “Two People Fall In Love”? Why can’t a story just be “Guy Gets a Cat and His Life Improves Somewhat.”
My New Year’s resolution is to be worse. Stay up later, eat whatever I want, only work when I feel like it. I’m tired of striving. It’s goblin time.
January 1, 2025 at 3:56 PM
My New Year’s resolution is to be worse. Stay up later, eat whatever I want, only work when I feel like it. I’m tired of striving. It’s goblin time.