Charles Chestington III
@sarlaccforprez.bsky.social
Professional alt text writer. Please, call me Chester. Charles was my father.
Oh my mom’s on here? That’s fun.
November 26, 2024 at 6:41 PM
Oh my mom’s on here? That’s fun.
Hello, yes, police? I would like to report a hate crime.
so excited to be invited to a friendsgiving so i can bring my world famous pb&j eggs
November 25, 2024 at 10:11 PM
Hello, yes, police? I would like to report a hate crime.
Ok. So. The guy sitting next to me was definitely on drugs. 20 minutes into the movie he leans to me and says “hey… is this Gladiator?”
Yes. Yes it is. Just like… the longest 3 hours. I’m so exhausted. This is why I never go to the movies anymore.
Yes. Yes it is. Just like… the longest 3 hours. I’m so exhausted. This is why I never go to the movies anymore.
November 24, 2024 at 11:28 PM
Ok. So. The guy sitting next to me was definitely on drugs. 20 minutes into the movie he leans to me and says “hey… is this Gladiator?”
Yes. Yes it is. Just like… the longest 3 hours. I’m so exhausted. This is why I never go to the movies anymore.
Yes. Yes it is. Just like… the longest 3 hours. I’m so exhausted. This is why I never go to the movies anymore.
Ugh. The gays just got out of Wicked and they’re talking about it. Spoiler alerts boyyyyysss. Some of us aren’t privileged enough to see it opening weekend.
November 24, 2024 at 7:35 PM
Ugh. The gays just got out of Wicked and they’re talking about it. Spoiler alerts boyyyyysss. Some of us aren’t privileged enough to see it opening weekend.
Ok WELP I guess I’m going to see stupid Gladiator with stupid sexy Pedro and stupid sexy Paul. I didn’t wanna see gay Wicked anyway. WHATEVER.
November 24, 2024 at 6:07 PM
Ok WELP I guess I’m going to see stupid Gladiator with stupid sexy Pedro and stupid sexy Paul. I didn’t wanna see gay Wicked anyway. WHATEVER.
Me trying to find last minute tickets to go see Wicked with all the cool gays…
November 24, 2024 at 5:39 PM
Me trying to find last minute tickets to go see Wicked with all the cool gays…
I don’t know why I still feel surprised every time I hit the “show” button.
November 24, 2024 at 3:53 PM
I don’t know why I still feel surprised every time I hit the “show” button.
Are people really subscribing to all these OFs? There’s so many. Back in my day we didn’t pay for porn. We slowly downloaded it on Kazaa.
November 24, 2024 at 3:28 PM
Are people really subscribing to all these OFs? There’s so many. Back in my day we didn’t pay for porn. We slowly downloaded it on Kazaa.
These “Bluesky Moderation Service” workers had no idea what they were gettin themselves into… 👀
November 23, 2024 at 6:11 PM
These “Bluesky Moderation Service” workers had no idea what they were gettin themselves into… 👀
Optimist: the cup is half full
Pessimist: the cup is half empty
Writer: when the cup was young, its mother would berate it for constantly spilling on the carpet. Its father would come home from work drunk and belittle it for not holding as much as the other cups his age. In time, the cup would…
Pessimist: the cup is half empty
Writer: when the cup was young, its mother would berate it for constantly spilling on the carpet. Its father would come home from work drunk and belittle it for not holding as much as the other cups his age. In time, the cup would…
Optimist: the cup is half full
Pessimist: the cup is half empty
Photographer: *moves cup a little to the left cause it’s in my shot*
Pessimist: the cup is half empty
Photographer: *moves cup a little to the left cause it’s in my shot*
Optimist: The cup is half full.
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
Con Law professor: Is the cup real?
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
Con Law professor: Is the cup real?
November 23, 2024 at 6:07 PM
Optimist: the cup is half full
Pessimist: the cup is half empty
Writer: when the cup was young, its mother would berate it for constantly spilling on the carpet. Its father would come home from work drunk and belittle it for not holding as much as the other cups his age. In time, the cup would…
Pessimist: the cup is half empty
Writer: when the cup was young, its mother would berate it for constantly spilling on the carpet. Its father would come home from work drunk and belittle it for not holding as much as the other cups his age. In time, the cup would…
Excuse me Perfectly Kind Neighbors, could you please exit the hallway so that I can leave without having to speak to you. Thanks. 🙏
a man in a grey shirt looks through a peephole in a door
ALT: a man in a grey shirt looks through a peephole in a door
media.tenor.com
November 22, 2024 at 6:56 PM
Excuse me Perfectly Kind Neighbors, could you please exit the hallway so that I can leave without having to speak to you. Thanks. 🙏
Ok I’m going out into the world, so I can no longer open Bluesky for risk of innocent NYers getting smacked in the face with all the cocks flying out of my phone.
November 22, 2024 at 6:29 PM
Ok I’m going out into the world, so I can no longer open Bluesky for risk of innocent NYers getting smacked in the face with all the cocks flying out of my phone.
Remember how showing your ankles used to be scandalous back in Victorian times? I feel like the Bluesky equivalent would be like… shirts.
November 22, 2024 at 6:21 PM
Remember how showing your ankles used to be scandalous back in Victorian times? I feel like the Bluesky equivalent would be like… shirts.
Boys, you don’t have to like 6 of my posts to get my attention.
You have to like all of them.
You have to like all of them.
November 21, 2024 at 4:45 PM
Boys, you don’t have to like 6 of my posts to get my attention.
You have to like all of them.
You have to like all of them.
Seriously debating on the direction of this account: silly dumb with shirtless posts or faceless with naughty posts.
November 21, 2024 at 1:57 PM
Seriously debating on the direction of this account: silly dumb with shirtless posts or faceless with naughty posts.
Post a ship that’s neither Star Trek nor Star Wars.
November 21, 2024 at 3:41 AM
Post a ship that’s neither Star Trek nor Star Wars.
I’ve had this new phone for like 2 hours and giiiiiiirl I am getting influenced.
November 20, 2024 at 11:31 PM
I’ve had this new phone for like 2 hours and giiiiiiirl I am getting influenced.
Omg it worked!
November 20, 2024 at 10:15 PM
Omg it worked!
Hey Kids, Dad has questions.
So… face card. I assume a picture with your face, ya. I feel like I heard that in a song somewhere.
Anyway. What makes it a card? Are there other cards as well? Like foot cards and hand cards. Are some cards worth more than others? Is this like Magic: The Gathering?
So… face card. I assume a picture with your face, ya. I feel like I heard that in a song somewhere.
Anyway. What makes it a card? Are there other cards as well? Like foot cards and hand cards. Are some cards worth more than others? Is this like Magic: The Gathering?
November 20, 2024 at 5:05 AM
Hey Kids, Dad has questions.
So… face card. I assume a picture with your face, ya. I feel like I heard that in a song somewhere.
Anyway. What makes it a card? Are there other cards as well? Like foot cards and hand cards. Are some cards worth more than others? Is this like Magic: The Gathering?
So… face card. I assume a picture with your face, ya. I feel like I heard that in a song somewhere.
Anyway. What makes it a card? Are there other cards as well? Like foot cards and hand cards. Are some cards worth more than others? Is this like Magic: The Gathering?
Yall I got my very first bot! Ain’t she cute? Do I follow her back? Like-spam her 3 posts? Give her my Social Security number?
November 20, 2024 at 12:03 AM
Yall I got my very first bot! Ain’t she cute? Do I follow her back? Like-spam her 3 posts? Give her my Social Security number?
That one time Debbie went to Dallas.
everyone trying me today i cant
November 18, 2024 at 3:36 PM
That one time Debbie went to Dallas.
I finally understand what this song is about.
November 18, 2024 at 1:45 PM
I finally understand what this song is about.
Me sittin in the room while all you Marshas talk about finding your old twitter friends…
November 17, 2024 at 9:56 PM
Me sittin in the room while all you Marshas talk about finding your old twitter friends…
If you were a villain, who would you be?
The most fabulous villain of them all.
The most fabulous villain of them all.
November 17, 2024 at 5:08 PM
If you were a villain, who would you be?
The most fabulous villain of them all.
The most fabulous villain of them all.