Sara THE MURDERIEST UNICORN
@saraterror.bsky.social
Murdery unicorn. Horror writer & reader. Herder of feral cats. Disabled badass (pudendal neuralgia, severe light sensitivity). Survivor. ADHD chaos muppet. Queen of seahorse penises. Queer. Boob monster. Face biter.
Yumyan Hammerpaw sleeps with his mouth slightly open and drools.
November 15, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Yumyan Hammerpaw sleeps with his mouth slightly open and drools.
I’m trying to figure out who I need to keep my eyes on. I’m hoping kittens are born in a place I can reach. I cannot crawl into a blackberry bush.
As thanks for your help, please enjoy some Doofus time.
Alt text: A tuxedo cat lounging in a bed, cleaning his foot & being really cute in general.
As thanks for your help, please enjoy some Doofus time.
Alt text: A tuxedo cat lounging in a bed, cleaning his foot & being really cute in general.
November 15, 2025 at 4:10 AM
I’m trying to figure out who I need to keep my eyes on. I’m hoping kittens are born in a place I can reach. I cannot crawl into a blackberry bush.
As thanks for your help, please enjoy some Doofus time.
Alt text: A tuxedo cat lounging in a bed, cleaning his foot & being really cute in general.
As thanks for your help, please enjoy some Doofus time.
Alt text: A tuxedo cat lounging in a bed, cleaning his foot & being really cute in general.
I gave them a toy.
This is very much a video taken by a visually impaired person, but still. Cats! Toy!
(My phone is broken so there’s no sound. Alt text: A bunch of feral cats on my porch gather around a hot pink toy I just gave them. They are fascinated by it in an extremely cat fashion.)
This is very much a video taken by a visually impaired person, but still. Cats! Toy!
(My phone is broken so there’s no sound. Alt text: A bunch of feral cats on my porch gather around a hot pink toy I just gave them. They are fascinated by it in an extremely cat fashion.)
November 15, 2025 at 3:44 AM
I gave them a toy.
This is very much a video taken by a visually impaired person, but still. Cats! Toy!
(My phone is broken so there’s no sound. Alt text: A bunch of feral cats on my porch gather around a hot pink toy I just gave them. They are fascinated by it in an extremely cat fashion.)
This is very much a video taken by a visually impaired person, but still. Cats! Toy!
(My phone is broken so there’s no sound. Alt text: A bunch of feral cats on my porch gather around a hot pink toy I just gave them. They are fascinated by it in an extremely cat fashion.)
About to spoil the shit out of a bunch of cats.
November 13, 2025 at 7:31 PM
About to spoil the shit out of a bunch of cats.
Good morning from the ferals.
I know there are some big Doofus fans, and I want y’all to know I made a major breakthrough with him. I can pet him and cuddle him now. He loves it and he’s so soft and sweet.
I’m getting a new phone today which means better videos WITH SOUND. Yay!
I know there are some big Doofus fans, and I want y’all to know I made a major breakthrough with him. I can pet him and cuddle him now. He loves it and he’s so soft and sweet.
I’m getting a new phone today which means better videos WITH SOUND. Yay!
November 13, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Good morning from the ferals.
I know there are some big Doofus fans, and I want y’all to know I made a major breakthrough with him. I can pet him and cuddle him now. He loves it and he’s so soft and sweet.
I’m getting a new phone today which means better videos WITH SOUND. Yay!
I know there are some big Doofus fans, and I want y’all to know I made a major breakthrough with him. I can pet him and cuddle him now. He loves it and he’s so soft and sweet.
I’m getting a new phone today which means better videos WITH SOUND. Yay!
This was the perfect unexpected visitor for a day I’m wearing a dog-patterned hoodie.
November 12, 2025 at 10:37 PM
This was the perfect unexpected visitor for a day I’m wearing a dog-patterned hoodie.
LMAOOO animals just show up on my porch now. I’m hoping the next critter will be a miniature donkey.
His name is Grit and he has a weird black antenna sprouting from his collar because he runs off so much he needs a homing device attached to him.
His name is Grit and he has a weird black antenna sprouting from his collar because he runs off so much he needs a homing device attached to him.
November 12, 2025 at 10:28 PM
LMAOOO animals just show up on my porch now. I’m hoping the next critter will be a miniature donkey.
His name is Grit and he has a weird black antenna sprouting from his collar because he runs off so much he needs a homing device attached to him.
His name is Grit and he has a weird black antenna sprouting from his collar because he runs off so much he needs a homing device attached to him.
Are you as tired as me?
November 12, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Are you as tired as me?
Last night i was showing my boyfriend these pictures. Look at those goofy expressions. Yumyan is definitely the daddy.
November 7, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Last night i was showing my boyfriend these pictures. Look at those goofy expressions. Yumyan is definitely the daddy.
This ended exactly the way you can probably imagine it did. Fortunately, curiosity only startled these cats.
November 7, 2025 at 4:09 AM
This ended exactly the way you can probably imagine it did. Fortunately, curiosity only startled these cats.
I hate when people go door to door proselytizing.
November 7, 2025 at 4:03 AM
I hate when people go door to door proselytizing.
Contemplating committing another crime against my sandwich.
November 6, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Contemplating committing another crime against my sandwich.
A second attempt at eating my sandwich in peace has failed. I apologize for the blurriness of this crime scene photo.
November 6, 2025 at 9:10 PM
A second attempt at eating my sandwich in peace has failed. I apologize for the blurriness of this crime scene photo.
So far today, Yumyan Hammerpaw has tried to steal my sandwich, licked the floor for a long time, pulled himself around on the rug just using his front paws, tried to eat my hoodie, and fell asleep with his foot inexplicably resting above him on a piece of furniture.
November 6, 2025 at 9:03 PM
So far today, Yumyan Hammerpaw has tried to steal my sandwich, licked the floor for a long time, pulled himself around on the rug just using his front paws, tried to eat my hoodie, and fell asleep with his foot inexplicably resting above him on a piece of furniture.
SHE IS SO SWEET AND SHE WANTS TO COME IN MY HOOOOOUUUUSE 😫😭
Alt text: A very small creamy orange and white feral cat letting me love on her after five months of gaining her trust.
Alt text: A very small creamy orange and white feral cat letting me love on her after five months of gaining her trust.
November 6, 2025 at 4:26 PM
SHE IS SO SWEET AND SHE WANTS TO COME IN MY HOOOOOUUUUSE 😫😭
Alt text: A very small creamy orange and white feral cat letting me love on her after five months of gaining her trust.
Alt text: A very small creamy orange and white feral cat letting me love on her after five months of gaining her trust.
Good morning from the breakfast crew. Seahorse in particular says hello.
Alt text: A large group of mostly orange feral cats gathering on my porch in the rain to eat breakfast. One of my favorites, a little orange cat named Seahorse, comes up to investigate the camera.
Alt text: A large group of mostly orange feral cats gathering on my porch in the rain to eat breakfast. One of my favorites, a little orange cat named Seahorse, comes up to investigate the camera.
November 6, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Good morning from the breakfast crew. Seahorse in particular says hello.
Alt text: A large group of mostly orange feral cats gathering on my porch in the rain to eat breakfast. One of my favorites, a little orange cat named Seahorse, comes up to investigate the camera.
Alt text: A large group of mostly orange feral cats gathering on my porch in the rain to eat breakfast. One of my favorites, a little orange cat named Seahorse, comes up to investigate the camera.
Major mammal pile action this morning. The video quality isn’t great, but this is three cats on one bed, with a fourth cat unceremoniously plopped on top of them, cleaning all of them. I love watching them clean each other. There are even more cats snuggling against the side of the bed.
November 5, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Major mammal pile action this morning. The video quality isn’t great, but this is three cats on one bed, with a fourth cat unceremoniously plopped on top of them, cleaning all of them. I love watching them clean each other. There are even more cats snuggling against the side of the bed.
This is a text from my handyman. I think I may be fully addicted to animals now. The feral cat colony has unleashed something in me that cannot be contained. LOVE ALL THE ANIMALS!
Whomst among us hasn’t asked a handyman to show you his goats?
Whomst among us hasn’t asked a handyman to show you his goats?
November 5, 2025 at 5:01 PM
This is a text from my handyman. I think I may be fully addicted to animals now. The feral cat colony has unleashed something in me that cannot be contained. LOVE ALL THE ANIMALS!
Whomst among us hasn’t asked a handyman to show you his goats?
Whomst among us hasn’t asked a handyman to show you his goats?
With every awful terrifying thing happening right now, I am currently a 45 year old woman who can’t put down the stuffed animal she is hugging without starting to cry. But at least my impulse buy at the grocery store this morning has already paid off:
November 4, 2025 at 8:01 PM
With every awful terrifying thing happening right now, I am currently a 45 year old woman who can’t put down the stuffed animal she is hugging without starting to cry. But at least my impulse buy at the grocery store this morning has already paid off:
Here is Yumyan falling asleep, hypnotized by the magic skritches of @saintofbouncers.bsky.social. We learned that this gigantic boy sleeps with his mouth open and drools.
November 4, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Here is Yumyan falling asleep, hypnotized by the magic skritches of @saintofbouncers.bsky.social. We learned that this gigantic boy sleeps with his mouth open and drools.
Umm… uh oh 😬
EXCUSE ME, SIR, YOU ARE THE INCORRECT ANIMAL
Alt text: A raccoon on my porch runs when I open my door and yell “Not a cat! You are not a cat! Not a cat!”
EXCUSE ME, SIR, YOU ARE THE INCORRECT ANIMAL
Alt text: A raccoon on my porch runs when I open my door and yell “Not a cat! You are not a cat! Not a cat!”
November 3, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Umm… uh oh 😬
EXCUSE ME, SIR, YOU ARE THE INCORRECT ANIMAL
Alt text: A raccoon on my porch runs when I open my door and yell “Not a cat! You are not a cat! Not a cat!”
EXCUSE ME, SIR, YOU ARE THE INCORRECT ANIMAL
Alt text: A raccoon on my porch runs when I open my door and yell “Not a cat! You are not a cat! Not a cat!”
Today’s too many feral cats on my front porch is even too many-er than yesterday.
I swear there’s a great reason for this! But I will also admit this delights my inner chaos gremlin to no end.
I swear there’s a great reason for this! But I will also admit this delights my inner chaos gremlin to no end.
November 3, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Today’s too many feral cats on my front porch is even too many-er than yesterday.
I swear there’s a great reason for this! But I will also admit this delights my inner chaos gremlin to no end.
I swear there’s a great reason for this! But I will also admit this delights my inner chaos gremlin to no end.
My mom was about to buy an emergency rotisserie chicken and drive it to my house. I’m so goddamn glad that goober finally emerged. I blocked the hole with luggage because I don’t know??? Now I’m left with photos that look like they’re from a bad found footage movie and a profound need to nap.
November 3, 2025 at 1:58 AM
My mom was about to buy an emergency rotisserie chicken and drive it to my house. I’m so goddamn glad that goober finally emerged. I blocked the hole with luggage because I don’t know??? Now I’m left with photos that look like they’re from a bad found footage movie and a profound need to nap.
I have spent the past hour panicking, strategizing, panicking, and building trails of wet cat food globs to lure these fuzzy bozos out. I got a bunch out and then had to frantically split my time between coaxing them out and chasing them away when they tried to go back in.
November 3, 2025 at 1:50 AM
I have spent the past hour panicking, strategizing, panicking, and building trails of wet cat food globs to lure these fuzzy bozos out. I got a bunch out and then had to frantically split my time between coaxing them out and chasing them away when they tried to go back in.
My hair is getting long enough to qualify as mermaid hair. Now I just need to turn my bottom half into a fish and start killing sailors.
November 2, 2025 at 6:06 PM
My hair is getting long enough to qualify as mermaid hair. Now I just need to turn my bottom half into a fish and start killing sailors.