#EmbarrassmentInChief 🤮

Every once in a while I wake up and walk outside and see something like this and that’s one of the reasons I love living up here, all you house people.

Quick show of hands. Who among us has built an Ecommerce platform where they can feature on the error page their own 7 year old (at the time) daughter’s interpretation of the logo?

Obviously they’re gonna bring me good luck whichever way I go, but I’m never quite sure whether to put Gene on my left shin and Paul on my right, or the other way round.

I like when Harrison Ford gets paid a big stinky paycheck because you know exactly where that money is going: comical amounts of weed and a small plane or helicopter that he will crash in a golf course

Gentle parenting is a scam created by big child

Totals for the past 2 days:

Beers: 0
Miles run: 6
Turkey jalapeño mayo on toasted sourdough sandwich lunches: 2

Think I’ll keep this streak alive for a bit.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Getting around to it a few days late here… but good news is I’ve been wanting to do this for a few years now…

As am I.

Why does nobody like the surf and turf turkey?

The tree relaxes into its new environment while the dad, recently free of his mustache and feeling just super as a result, cooks up a scratch bolognese.

After having spent an inordinate amount of time on X, one thing that is now abundantly clear is that WE ALL KNOW HOW TO SPELL OVER HERE.

I wondered why the writer in me has been so calm these past few weeks.

Pat yourselves on the back, people. 💙 😁 💞

The elevator ride from level 4 of the parking garage to the 32nd (top) floor of the tallest residential tower in Oklahoma afforded him just the right amount of time for a quick touch-up with his ZEUS K11 switchblade mustache comb. amzn.to/3ZjwwBY

Don’t eat gas station pizza and don’t get your ears pierced at Walmart

Speaking from experience, the right place for a 9 year old to get her ears pierced is a tattoo parlor, not Claire’s. But not before checking with the soccer coach.