🥧 Hot Apple Pie Smith
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reallyseansmith.bsky.social
🥧 Hot Apple Pie Smith
@reallyseansmith.bsky.social
2.2K followers 600 following 8.1K posts
Author of Even a Dog Enlists, Why Not You? and Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir. Formerly a US Army, MI, UN, NATO, etc. guy. Currently a Regular Human Person goofing off on Bluesky. https://www.amazon.com/stores/Sean-Smith/author/B0B6KPP5XL
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reallyseansmith.bsky.social
*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

"Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here..."
Newspaper clipping of me at my high school graduation titled ARMY-BOUND describing how I got an appointment to West Point.
November 11, 2025 at 2:35 AM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
"We are not amused"
Grumpy fozzie cat on a cat tower.
November 11, 2025 at 12:41 AM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
When you're an incel but it's for touching grass.
‪Erich Luepke‬ ‪@erichluepke.bsky.social‬ · 15h I would accept the death of ten million Americans to deal with this problem. I do not care about some people's paychecks.
November 10, 2025 at 8:55 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Pros: The AEF was supplied with vast quantities of Brazilian coffee.

Cons: *Checks Army Cookbook*
The QMC was also responsible for securing the Army’s coffee supply, which it considered “one of the most vital components” of the soldier’s rations.34 Ironically, it was aided in this by a failed prewar scheme to corner the coffee marked cooked up by Germany. There had been a remarkably good year for coffee in Brazil just before the European war began. German financiers had secured control of the coffee product in an effort to corner the market. As a consequence, dealers everywhere for self-protec- tion bought tremendous quantities of coffee. This coffee was later poured into the market. The attempted coup of the Ger- mans failed, prices dropped, and many concerns lost money. Much of this coffee had been sent to France. And so it was possible for the Chief Quartermaster, A.E.F., to find a coffee supply available without the necessity of using tonnage which could be so much more effectively employed in the transpor- tation of troops.35 At this point in history, Brazil was responsible for something like 80% of the world’s coffee production, so the resulting glut created in Europe was immense, and then the QMC simply showed up and bought all of it. The QMC also set up and ran the largest coffee roasting and grinding plant in all of Europe, just to satisfy the coffee cravings of the Army. In the process, the QMC corps created what has to be one of the cushiest jobs in military history: coffee taste tester. Breakfast: Put 71⁄2 gallons of water in the boiler and let come to a boil; add 21⁄4 pounds roasted and ground coffee, and remove from the range immediately. Allow to stand 15 minutes; add 1 pint of cold water, and allow to stand a few minutes longer before serving.37
November 10, 2025 at 8:29 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
The WWI Army had one answer, and it was "slum."
EVEN A DOG ENLISTS, WHY NOT YOU? 172 If the troops on the front line weren’t eating “monkey meat” out of a can, the default foodstuff coming from the standard Liberty Rolling Field Kitchen (basically a horse-drawn stove on wheels) was often a stew consisting of all the food items the mess sergeant could get their hands on that day, universally termed “slum.” As one soldier described it, “Everyone knows there are at least three kinds of slum – the watered kind, the more solid variety, and the occasional special kind that wears a pie crust. The Marines describe these three types in sea-lingo ‘slum with the tide in,’ ‘slum with the tide out,’ and ‘slum in an overcoat.’” It’s no surprise that everyone got sick of this, to the point of complaining that “we were stewed to death.”13 The worst examples were called “camouflage” because they thought it tasted worse than if they simply boiled their camouflage nets and ate them.14 As an aside, making a terrible stew out of whatever you could get out of the Army supply system and then going to the trouble of making a pie crust to put on it seems gleefully demented, like sticking a little umbrella in an alcoholic drink you made from fermenting raisins in a toilet.
November 10, 2025 at 8:29 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Credit where it's due, that's a hell of a shot/chaser.

"and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad."
Joyce Carol Oates @JoyceCarolOates So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend’s or relative’s accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated , uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the “most wealthy person in the world.” Ad appears on twitter about how "Elon Musk reads a lot."
November 10, 2025 at 6:48 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Time to stop dooming over the shutdown deal and focus on what really matters: Pointlessly hostile left-coded Star Wars hot takes.
Femto Pagalies ‪@durgediggler.bsky.social‬ "I have no idea what being a contributing writer for a fascist rag has to do with despising a character that was created for children to sympathize with indigenous populations"
November 10, 2025 at 6:41 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
It's a fair cop.
"This book may contain an excess amount of intricate detail that may interest only a particular audience."
November 10, 2025 at 3:12 AM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Getting ready for a soup-centric evening.
A pot of chicken & rice soup
November 9, 2025 at 9:52 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
These are the easiest blocks on the internet. Non-denominational joyless dorks like that get punted into the sun.
Weird hill to die on, but at least you're dead.
November 9, 2025 at 6:37 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
M1 kinda splits the difference between the Lotus Esprit and Maserati Bora [complimentary]
Lotus Esprit Maserati Bora
November 9, 2025 at 6:03 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Think I cracked the code, folks.
Bell curve meme where the dumb and smart ends are both labeled "racists are vicious moron scum who need to be publicly shamed out of existence" and the middle is "racism is a complex issue which..."
November 9, 2025 at 12:30 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
HGM732 HIGHLANDER battlemech with tartan paint scheme
November 8, 2025 at 11:37 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
If you see this, post one image from your device with no context.
"Look at the subtle off white coloring, the tasteful thickness of it" scene from American Psycho, but it's a business card from my time in the Army.
November 8, 2025 at 11:13 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Apologies to @sodrock.bsky.social
"155% Tax or 155mm for Dictators" in the style of "Zohran for New York" signs.
November 8, 2025 at 9:07 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Anecdotes aren't data, but in my IRL experience with my fellow Americans, someone calling themselves "very liberal" can mean anything from "Eisenhower Republican" to "Corporations are legally people, you say? Then let's start sentencing them to death."
Rick from Rick and Morty covered in blood.
November 8, 2025 at 7:28 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
I mean
JCVD in the movie Street Fighter
November 7, 2025 at 8:41 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Trigger Warning: Rhode Island State Police
November 6, 2025 at 4:01 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
How many different graphics and headlines is the NYT going to repackage the same garbage take lol
The same basic thing repackaged as DID LIBERAL FEMINISM RUIN THE WORKPLACE? AND CAN CONSERVATIVE FEMINISM FIX IT?
November 6, 2025 at 1:57 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Listen, I don't tightly curate all my follows or whatever so I'm sure there are clowns in there I've missed too, but yikes
November 6, 2025 at 12:14 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
If you see this post egg
"Impress her with something expensive" but it's 12 eggs instead of a ring.
November 6, 2025 at 11:56 AM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
I'm also partial to the "shaker" hood scoop they used that year even if it's dumb.
COBRA JET SHAKER HOOD SCOOP BABY
November 5, 2025 at 3:09 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
My old car hot take is the 69 Mustang Mach 1 is the best looking Mustang, with the caveat that the Mach 1 side stripes are kind of bad and dumb.
1969 Mustang Mach 1
November 5, 2025 at 3:04 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Unsolicited thicc pic.
BIG CHUNGUS CAT
November 5, 2025 at 12:02 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
I know a lot of people online and IRL with conservative vibes who want Trump, Vance and Hegseth to be eternally eaten by Lucifer's 3 mouths in the 9th circle of hell, and we're all having a good day all around.
Lucifer eternally eating history's 3 greatest traitors, based on Dante's Inferno.
November 5, 2025 at 11:54 AM