Read Cook
@readcook.bsky.social
Writer, Attorney, Devout Irreverent. “Bristol Palin Is a Realtor,” “Hope v Texas,” “Queen of Switzerland.” EPOCH, Wigleaf, Taco Bell Quarterly, The Moth, University of Illinois Law Review, etc.
byreadcook.com
byreadcook.com
Thank you to Cole, Jen, Brandon and all The Masters Review readers for giving “Bristol” another life.
mastersreview.com/the-2025-rep...
mastersreview.com/the-2025-rep...
The 2025 Reprint Prize Winner & Shortlist - The Masters Review
Congratulations are in order for Read Cook, author of "Bristol Palin is a Realtor," winner of the 2025 Reprint Prize! Congratulations also to our runners-up, Judith Hannah Weiss and Charlie Watts. The...
mastersreview.com
November 8, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Thank you to Cole, Jen, Brandon and all The Masters Review readers for giving “Bristol” another life.
mastersreview.com/the-2025-rep...
mastersreview.com/the-2025-rep...
45. Two weeks ago. In front of child’s piano instructor. 🙋♂️
"No one was laughing, Janice. Do you want to know why? Because no one could imagine that a forty-two-year-old man could have spent a whole forty-two years mispronouncing the name of one of the greatest and most celebrated composers of all time."
How Long Were You Going to Let Me Keep Mispronouncing “Chopin,” Janice?
Oh, my god. You knew? Why didn’t you say something? Sweet mother of Mozart, Janice! I think I’m going to be sick. Do you have any idea how awkward ...
buff.ly
October 24, 2025 at 9:48 PM
45. Two weeks ago. In front of child’s piano instructor. 🙋♂️
Reposted by Read Cook
Thanks for the support, carpet cleaning van
September 17, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Thanks for the support, carpet cleaning van
Gig ‘em and good night!
September 14, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Gig ‘em and good night!
Reposted by Read Cook
Hey! We’re thiiiiiiiis close to opening up our submission window. That gives you just enough time to print your 5 best poems, shove ‘em in an envelope, and mail them to us! Hit the link for deets! (Yes we know we’re old school; we make a gorgeous journal though!)
www.uab.edu/cas/englishp...
www.uab.edu/cas/englishp...
August 30, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Hey! We’re thiiiiiiiis close to opening up our submission window. That gives you just enough time to print your 5 best poems, shove ‘em in an envelope, and mail them to us! Hit the link for deets! (Yes we know we’re old school; we make a gorgeous journal though!)
www.uab.edu/cas/englishp...
www.uab.edu/cas/englishp...
Dallas teams need to think of better ways to make the news.
August 28, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Dallas teams need to think of better ways to make the news.
This weighted vest/rucking fad is out of control. It’s moms, it’s dads. You’d think there was an ordinance. I’m going to put a stop to it.
August 26, 2025 at 12:51 PM
This weighted vest/rucking fad is out of control. It’s moms, it’s dads. You’d think there was an ordinance. I’m going to put a stop to it.
A park where you’re *not* allowed to fly drones would be lovely. 🦟
August 22, 2025 at 2:22 PM
A park where you’re *not* allowed to fly drones would be lovely. 🦟
Why doesn’t Nike supply Scheffler with some moister wicking shirts?
August 21, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Why doesn’t Nike supply Scheffler with some moister wicking shirts?
Also, I liked not having to think about what to wear each day. Navy suit, white shirt, boots every day for 12 years.
Interesting! I hated every day of law school, but enjoyed most of my days practicing. I know an MFA would help me in terms of craft/community, but lawyering taught me a lot about story-telling, creativity, and grinding. I’ve flailed (still am!), but I’d make the same choice again.
August 4, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Also, I liked not having to think about what to wear each day. Navy suit, white shirt, boots every day for 12 years.
More on this tomorrow, but thanks to @bluevilla.org for publishing my story about a place where mercy is in the eye of the holder of the hammer.
Read Cook’s haunting new story To the Swift is now live! Don’t miss this visceral journey of captivation, violence, and the cost of survival 🩸
Only available on Patreon 🔗
Only available on Patreon 🔗
Read Cook - To the Swift | Blue Villa Mag
Get more from Blue Villa Mag on Patreon
www.patreon.com
July 31, 2025 at 1:49 AM
More on this tomorrow, but thanks to @bluevilla.org for publishing my story about a place where mercy is in the eye of the holder of the hammer.
Reposted by Read Cook
published a lil bit of my forthcoming novel with @houseofvladpress.bsky.social recently
you can read it here if you want to - i'm in good company for the summer bummer issue! xo
houseofvladpress.com/summer-bummer
you can read it here if you want to - i'm in good company for the summer bummer issue! xo
houseofvladpress.com/summer-bummer
HOUSE OF VLAD PRESS
“The damp dishrag hanging over the edge of the indie lit scene.”
houseofvladpress.com
July 28, 2025 at 2:42 AM
published a lil bit of my forthcoming novel with @houseofvladpress.bsky.social recently
you can read it here if you want to - i'm in good company for the summer bummer issue! xo
houseofvladpress.com/summer-bummer
you can read it here if you want to - i'm in good company for the summer bummer issue! xo
houseofvladpress.com/summer-bummer
“What are the names of children at my daughter’s elementary school?”
July 26, 2025 at 1:13 PM
“What are the names of children at my daughter’s elementary school?”
And goddam flash floods and goddam Uvalde and goddam helplessness. Why are you crying, Daddy? Don’t worry about it, just remember the fucking Alamo.
The $teak! Everyone’s pretending about the $teak! It tastes okay, but never better than a mediocre carne asada at 1/4th the price. But we’re a bad Texan if we admit it’s overrated, as are cowboy hats and the State Fair and Southwest Airlines. WELL I HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT!
July 5, 2025 at 9:50 PM
And goddam flash floods and goddam Uvalde and goddam helplessness. Why are you crying, Daddy? Don’t worry about it, just remember the fucking Alamo.
The $teak! Everyone’s pretending about the $teak! It tastes okay, but never better than a mediocre carne asada at 1/4th the price. But we’re a bad Texan if we admit it’s overrated, as are cowboy hats and the State Fair and Southwest Airlines. WELL I HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT!
July 5, 2025 at 9:49 PM
The $teak! Everyone’s pretending about the $teak! It tastes okay, but never better than a mediocre carne asada at 1/4th the price. But we’re a bad Texan if we admit it’s overrated, as are cowboy hats and the State Fair and Southwest Airlines. WELL I HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT!
Reposted by Read Cook
Wife: What's your @mcsweeneys.net piece about?
Me: How our daughters can't be whatever they want.
Wife: ... Wait, what?
Me: How our daughters can't be whatever they want.
Wife: ... Wait, what?
"Practically, they can’t be anything they want. For example, as both have requested, neither can become a penguin, an apple tree, or, apparently, the President of the United States."
An Open Letter to Everyone Telling My Daughters They Can Be Anything They Want
Dear Everyone Telling My Daughters They Can Be Anything They Want, Please stop. I agree with you in spirit, but telling my five and four-year-old d...
buff.ly
June 26, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Wife: What's your @mcsweeneys.net piece about?
Me: How our daughters can't be whatever they want.
Wife: ... Wait, what?
Me: How our daughters can't be whatever they want.
Wife: ... Wait, what?
Lawyers and Law Profs and Bears, oh my…wife is co-presenting on “The Fallacy of Work/Life Balance: How to Thrive, Not Just Survive.” There probably won’t be enough mentions of my badass husband-ness, but there will be CLE credit.
t.e2ma.net/click/6kl2mg...
t.e2ma.net/click/6kl2mg...
Baylor University || Online Registration
t.e2ma.net
June 25, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Lawyers and Law Profs and Bears, oh my…wife is co-presenting on “The Fallacy of Work/Life Balance: How to Thrive, Not Just Survive.” There probably won’t be enough mentions of my badass husband-ness, but there will be CLE credit.
t.e2ma.net/click/6kl2mg...
t.e2ma.net/click/6kl2mg...
Yay!
It’s PUB DAY for All the Lands We Inherit, & I can’t think of a better way to kick it off than with this lovely feature at @debutiful.bsky.social ! Seven prose poems, seven little stories—check em out here 👇
📚💙 #booksky #poetry #cnf
📚💙 #booksky #poetry #cnf
Read an excerpt from @darbyprice.bsky.social's debut book ALL THE LANDS WE INHERIT!
debutiful.net/2025/06/17/r... @blacklawrence.bsky.social
debutiful.net/2025/06/17/r... @blacklawrence.bsky.social
June 17, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Yay!
My body is 70% carbonated water.
June 9, 2025 at 4:32 PM
My body is 70% carbonated water.
So many emails from my kids’ schools.
June 3, 2025 at 10:46 PM
So many emails from my kids’ schools.
“It never pays to overestimate yourself.”
—Katherine Heiny, Standard
Deviation.
—Katherine Heiny, Standard
Deviation.
May 27, 2025 at 2:59 AM
“It never pays to overestimate yourself.”
—Katherine Heiny, Standard
Deviation.
—Katherine Heiny, Standard
Deviation.