SantaKilledMyDog
@postmasterflex.bsky.social
ACAB FREE PALESTINE BLM LGBTQ+ HE/HIM
When I joke about my penis I like to say it's 1inch so that way when people actually see it they're like "wow omg it's double the size you said it was!"
February 12, 2026 at 5:05 PM
When I joke about my penis I like to say it's 1inch so that way when people actually see it they're like "wow omg it's double the size you said it was!"
Reposted by SantaKilledMyDog
Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.
December 19, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.
The balls are the ears of the dick
October 28, 2025 at 4:52 PM
The balls are the ears of the dick
Hey girl, do you like the Beatles? Cuz you'll have beat-holes when we come together.
October 28, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Hey girl, do you like the Beatles? Cuz you'll have beat-holes when we come together.
If it's as fun as it sounds? Well then chief, color me pussified.
January 2, 2025 at 6:28 PM
If it's as fun as it sounds? Well then chief, color me pussified.
Welcome to Bluesky, where all your Mambo #6 jokes come to die
January 2, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Welcome to Bluesky, where all your Mambo #6 jokes come to die
Oh that? That's my dick. I use it for pissin'
January 2, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Oh that? That's my dick. I use it for pissin'
If you ever feel like a little bitch, just remember that there are grown ass men that get visibly upset at the mention of Taylor Swift.
January 2, 2025 at 5:39 PM
If you ever feel like a little bitch, just remember that there are grown ass men that get visibly upset at the mention of Taylor Swift.
Oh yeah? You don't like me?? Well guess what!?
I don't either, Fuck you.
I don't either, Fuck you.
January 2, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Oh yeah? You don't like me?? Well guess what!?
I don't either, Fuck you.
I don't either, Fuck you.
Reposted by SantaKilledMyDog
Reposted by SantaKilledMyDog
the problem with our media environment is that a z-list comic can gain immediate relevance by regurgitating right wing conspiracy theories
January 2, 2025 at 2:05 AM
the problem with our media environment is that a z-list comic can gain immediate relevance by regurgitating right wing conspiracy theories
Ugh that's fucking disgusting!
Aaaaaand, follow .
Aaaaaand, follow .
January 2, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Ugh that's fucking disgusting!
Aaaaaand, follow .
Aaaaaand, follow .
Sexting advice please 🥺
Use your thighs as a neck pillow on this direct flight to cumtown
Or
Use your thighs as a neck pillow on this first class flight to fucktown?
Personally I'm a sucker for alliteration
Use your thighs as a neck pillow on this direct flight to cumtown
Or
Use your thighs as a neck pillow on this first class flight to fucktown?
Personally I'm a sucker for alliteration
January 2, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Sexting advice please 🥺
Use your thighs as a neck pillow on this direct flight to cumtown
Or
Use your thighs as a neck pillow on this first class flight to fucktown?
Personally I'm a sucker for alliteration
Use your thighs as a neck pillow on this direct flight to cumtown
Or
Use your thighs as a neck pillow on this first class flight to fucktown?
Personally I'm a sucker for alliteration
Can't wait to use the lyrics:
"Squirtin' through her beef curtain"
"Squirtin' through her beef curtain"
January 2, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Can't wait to use the lyrics:
"Squirtin' through her beef curtain"
"Squirtin' through her beef curtain"
Maybe I should be mad, but honestly it's kinda cute when my girl has a crush on someone
January 2, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Maybe I should be mad, but honestly it's kinda cute when my girl has a crush on someone
Reposted by SantaKilledMyDog
These two days are going to suck ass.
January 2, 2025 at 2:27 PM
These two days are going to suck ass.
Reposted by SantaKilledMyDog
If you want breaking political commentary before anyone else, here it is. We’re fucked
December 23, 2024 at 9:20 PM
If you want breaking political commentary before anyone else, here it is. We’re fucked
Reposted by SantaKilledMyDog
Stupid minds think alike, too.
December 23, 2024 at 8:35 AM
Stupid minds think alike, too.
Today's kids don't know that he had to do it to em
December 23, 2024 at 9:43 PM
Today's kids don't know that he had to do it to em
Crannin' my berries til I sauce on your bitchass
December 23, 2024 at 5:39 PM
Crannin' my berries til I sauce on your bitchass
Remember , remember
Your heart in a blender
Your heart in a blender
December 23, 2024 at 5:37 PM
Remember , remember
Your heart in a blender
Your heart in a blender
Hey Hoss nice piss
December 23, 2024 at 5:36 PM
Hey Hoss nice piss
Reposted by SantaKilledMyDog
The world's richest man managed to take $190 million away from a *child cancer research center* with his posts yesterday. Funding now stripped in the new bill.
December 19, 2024 at 10:22 PM
The world's richest man managed to take $190 million away from a *child cancer research center* with his posts yesterday. Funding now stripped in the new bill.