Carlota
@pocketciso.bsky.social
Emotional Support CISO as a Service.
vCISO services for SMB.
linkedin.com/in/carlotasage
vCISO services for SMB.
linkedin.com/in/carlotasage
I see the appeal of NM.
I have delivered @productivityalchemy.com’s Camaro to his home relatively unscathed (there were Stories, y’all!). Wish I could stay, but I’m literally at ABQ headed to SJC now.
I’ll be back!
I have delivered @productivityalchemy.com’s Camaro to his home relatively unscathed (there were Stories, y’all!). Wish I could stay, but I’m literally at ABQ headed to SJC now.
I’ll be back!
January 23, 2025 at 6:38 PM
I see the appeal of NM.
I have delivered @productivityalchemy.com’s Camaro to his home relatively unscathed (there were Stories, y’all!). Wish I could stay, but I’m literally at ABQ headed to SJC now.
I’ll be back!
I have delivered @productivityalchemy.com’s Camaro to his home relatively unscathed (there were Stories, y’all!). Wish I could stay, but I’m literally at ABQ headed to SJC now.
I’ll be back!
Reposted by Carlota
@bsides.ky CISO panel is online!!
❤️ Carlota for being the best moderator
❤️ Pam Greene and @adamarellano.bsky.social for making this #bsides panel awesome
youtu.be/C9-RvU74OEA?...
❤️ Carlota for being the best moderator
❤️ Pam Greene and @adamarellano.bsky.social for making this #bsides panel awesome
youtu.be/C9-RvU74OEA?...
2024 Security BSides // CISO Roundtable
YouTube video by Security BSides Cayman Islands
youtu.be
January 15, 2025 at 6:57 PM
@bsides.ky CISO panel is online!!
❤️ Carlota for being the best moderator
❤️ Pam Greene and @adamarellano.bsky.social for making this #bsides panel awesome
youtu.be/C9-RvU74OEA?...
❤️ Carlota for being the best moderator
❤️ Pam Greene and @adamarellano.bsky.social for making this #bsides panel awesome
youtu.be/C9-RvU74OEA?...
Dropped @productivityalchemy.com's car off at the mechanic before dragging it to NM. A few hours later:
"Can I get into the Cammy I dropped off earlier to get my phone out of it?"
*blank stare*
"The Chevy Camry."
*blank stare*
"I mean the Chevy Cavalier!"
*blank stare*
"You mean the Camaro?" 🤦♀️
"Can I get into the Cammy I dropped off earlier to get my phone out of it?"
*blank stare*
"The Chevy Camry."
*blank stare*
"I mean the Chevy Cavalier!"
*blank stare*
"You mean the Camaro?" 🤦♀️
January 9, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Dropped @productivityalchemy.com's car off at the mechanic before dragging it to NM. A few hours later:
"Can I get into the Cammy I dropped off earlier to get my phone out of it?"
*blank stare*
"The Chevy Camry."
*blank stare*
"I mean the Chevy Cavalier!"
*blank stare*
"You mean the Camaro?" 🤦♀️
"Can I get into the Cammy I dropped off earlier to get my phone out of it?"
*blank stare*
"The Chevy Camry."
*blank stare*
"I mean the Chevy Cavalier!"
*blank stare*
"You mean the Camaro?" 🤦♀️
TIL that as long as DEET (my beloved SUV) has one tire on solid ground (and no tires trapped by tree roots), he can haul himself out of a ditch.
Why were we in a ditch? Let's just say no vultures nor DEETs were harmed in obtaining this knowledge.
Why were we in a ditch? Let's just say no vultures nor DEETs were harmed in obtaining this knowledge.
December 30, 2024 at 7:20 PM
TIL that as long as DEET (my beloved SUV) has one tire on solid ground (and no tires trapped by tree roots), he can haul himself out of a ditch.
Why were we in a ditch? Let's just say no vultures nor DEETs were harmed in obtaining this knowledge.
Why were we in a ditch? Let's just say no vultures nor DEETs were harmed in obtaining this knowledge.
People used to ask me how to overcome imposter syndrome and I would tell them I didn't know, I was born with the confidence gene.
Turns out I'm just mildly autistic and wired not to care what people think!
Getting diagnosed in your 50s is wild, y'all. It just explains *waves hands* soooo much.
Turns out I'm just mildly autistic and wired not to care what people think!
Getting diagnosed in your 50s is wild, y'all. It just explains *waves hands* soooo much.
October 7, 2024 at 6:38 PM
People used to ask me how to overcome imposter syndrome and I would tell them I didn't know, I was born with the confidence gene.
Turns out I'm just mildly autistic and wired not to care what people think!
Getting diagnosed in your 50s is wild, y'all. It just explains *waves hands* soooo much.
Turns out I'm just mildly autistic and wired not to care what people think!
Getting diagnosed in your 50s is wild, y'all. It just explains *waves hands* soooo much.
Reposted by Carlota
We got a pumpkin today! Time to start planning the cats' scary jack o'lantern for this year. Past years have included: nail clippers, vacuum cleaner, the vet, and a spray bottle. 🎃
September 30, 2024 at 8:38 PM
We got a pumpkin today! Time to start planning the cats' scary jack o'lantern for this year. Past years have included: nail clippers, vacuum cleaner, the vet, and a spray bottle. 🎃
An Ancient Disease Is Making A Comeback In Parts Of The USA
www.iflscience.com
September 4, 2024 at 3:42 AM
Went to a yoga/meditation festival last week and had an epiphany as I looked out over the Eat, Pray, Love crowd dancing amongst the backdrop of the beautiful mountains of Zion National Park:
I'm a Binge, Fuck, Fight kind of gal.
Sometimes, being in the wrong place is the right thing for you...
I'm a Binge, Fuck, Fight kind of gal.
Sometimes, being in the wrong place is the right thing for you...
June 10, 2024 at 3:12 PM
Went to a yoga/meditation festival last week and had an epiphany as I looked out over the Eat, Pray, Love crowd dancing amongst the backdrop of the beautiful mountains of Zion National Park:
I'm a Binge, Fuck, Fight kind of gal.
Sometimes, being in the wrong place is the right thing for you...
I'm a Binge, Fuck, Fight kind of gal.
Sometimes, being in the wrong place is the right thing for you...
Reposted by Carlota
Hey, if you’re still on Twitter, be sure not to publicize this neo Nazi they’re protecting
Twitter is nuking every single post that mentions the name Hans Kristian Graebener, even in quotes. Everyone that posts it is getting hit. I've never seen sitewide censorship like this done specifically on behalf of a neo nazi.
March 15, 2024 at 9:41 PM
Hey, if you’re still on Twitter, be sure not to publicize this neo Nazi they’re protecting
New Incident Response Uniform
March 13, 2024 at 9:52 PM
New Incident Response Uniform
I’m not saying that garlic bacon cheddar drop biscuits are the best biscuits ever, but since they just happen to be the ones fresh out of the oven…I am saying these biscuits in front of me are the best at the moment!
January 6, 2024 at 5:49 PM
I’m not saying that garlic bacon cheddar drop biscuits are the best biscuits ever, but since they just happen to be the ones fresh out of the oven…I am saying these biscuits in front of me are the best at the moment!
I might maybe just possibly be at @ksonney.bsky.social and @tkingfisher.bsky.social's place baking a bacon & apple pie (after making a tasty batch of Filipino poncit, of course...)
This is going to be deeeeeeelicious!
This is going to be deeeeeeelicious!
December 4, 2023 at 7:27 PM
I might maybe just possibly be at @ksonney.bsky.social and @tkingfisher.bsky.social's place baking a bacon & apple pie (after making a tasty batch of Filipino poncit, of course...)
This is going to be deeeeeeelicious!
This is going to be deeeeeeelicious!
Hey, folks! Suggest you Google yourselves and see what LinkedIn thinks your accomplishments are…
Apparently, I’m my friend John Donovan in the Google search results. :disguised_face: :face_with_spiral_eyes:
www.linkedin.com/feed/update/...
Apparently, I’m my friend John Donovan in the Google search results. :disguised_face: :face_with_spiral_eyes:
www.linkedin.com/feed/update/...
Carlota Sage on LinkedIn: #fakeliprofile #wtf #aihallucinations #willtherealjohndonovanpleasestandup...
I like to Google myself every now and then; it's good to see who else is rocking your name. Right now, there's myself, a mom in a Latinx country, a perfume…
www.linkedin.com
November 7, 2023 at 2:13 PM
Hey, folks! Suggest you Google yourselves and see what LinkedIn thinks your accomplishments are…
Apparently, I’m my friend John Donovan in the Google search results. :disguised_face: :face_with_spiral_eyes:
www.linkedin.com/feed/update/...
Apparently, I’m my friend John Donovan in the Google search results. :disguised_face: :face_with_spiral_eyes:
www.linkedin.com/feed/update/...
My French is so bad that the French are genuinely relieved when I switch to English. Bless my heart. :D
October 31, 2023 at 12:34 PM
My French is so bad that the French are genuinely relieved when I switch to English. Bless my heart. :D
Reposted by Carlota
Want to support #kakapo recovery? Adoptions are open again! These make a big difference to the #conservation work we’re able to do. www.doc.govt.nz/adopt-a-kakapo #parrots #birds
Adopt a kākāpō
Kākāpō adoptions are a special way to donate towards the conservation of this taonga species.
www.doc.govt.nz
October 31, 2023 at 6:14 AM
Want to support #kakapo recovery? Adoptions are open again! These make a big difference to the #conservation work we’re able to do. www.doc.govt.nz/adopt-a-kakapo #parrots #birds
KITTY!
The news in the world is awful, but it's almost Halloween, so let's talk about pumpkin enrichment for big cats.
This is Jinx the black leopard (Big Cat Rescue, Florida) enjoying shredding a pumpkin.
This is Jinx the black leopard (Big Cat Rescue, Florida) enjoying shredding a pumpkin.
October 31, 2023 at 6:20 AM
KITTY!
Reposted by Carlota
The #kakapo at Maungatautari are keeping us on our toes! Last week Manaaki was found outside of the fence and returned inside. We suspect he used a tree to jump the fence, so further tree trimming is underway and we’re closely monitoring all 10 birds in this new population. 📸 DOC. #conservation
October 31, 2023 at 6:06 AM
The #kakapo at Maungatautari are keeping us on our toes! Last week Manaaki was found outside of the fence and returned inside. We suspect he used a tree to jump the fence, so further tree trimming is underway and we’re closely monitoring all 10 birds in this new population. 📸 DOC. #conservation
If a strange man awoke me from an enchanted sleep with a kiss, I'd say, "Thank you. I did not consent to any of this, but I do appreciate your help with resolving this issue," and get on with my life.
If a boulder rolled down a hill every day I would simply choose not to push it back up.
If there was a woman creeping creeping behind my yellow wallpaper, I would simply redecorate.
October 22, 2023 at 9:47 AM
If a strange man awoke me from an enchanted sleep with a kiss, I'd say, "Thank you. I did not consent to any of this, but I do appreciate your help with resolving this issue," and get on with my life.
The Frenchman shrugged off the fact that I didn’t like brie unless it’s warm and melted. He thought I meant room temperature.
The look of pure horror on his face when I described baked brie was priceless...
The look of pure horror on his face when I described baked brie was priceless...
October 18, 2023 at 9:16 AM
The Frenchman shrugged off the fact that I didn’t like brie unless it’s warm and melted. He thought I meant room temperature.
The look of pure horror on his face when I described baked brie was priceless...
The look of pure horror on his face when I described baked brie was priceless...
I told a Frenchman that I didn’t like baguettes because I don’t like the overly crunchy crusty exterior.
I have been informed that I am entitled to my opinion even though I am completely and irrevocably wrong. Also, I am still quite beautiful despite how very wrong I am.
#scenesfromBordeaux
I have been informed that I am entitled to my opinion even though I am completely and irrevocably wrong. Also, I am still quite beautiful despite how very wrong I am.
#scenesfromBordeaux
October 18, 2023 at 7:27 AM
I told a Frenchman that I didn’t like baguettes because I don’t like the overly crunchy crusty exterior.
I have been informed that I am entitled to my opinion even though I am completely and irrevocably wrong. Also, I am still quite beautiful despite how very wrong I am.
#scenesfromBordeaux
I have been informed that I am entitled to my opinion even though I am completely and irrevocably wrong. Also, I am still quite beautiful despite how very wrong I am.
#scenesfromBordeaux
Bored? Want to know what I do when I'm not working on the security health model? I'll be on The Social UnDistancing Show TONIGHT (Wednesday 10/04) at 8:30 pm CST on Facebook, YouTube or LinkedIn! #toys #fun #live #webshow #podcast #liveBroadcast #Entertainment www.instagram.com/reel/Cx_ZNfR...
October 4, 2023 at 9:12 PM
Bored? Want to know what I do when I'm not working on the security health model? I'll be on The Social UnDistancing Show TONIGHT (Wednesday 10/04) at 8:30 pm CST on Facebook, YouTube or LinkedIn! #toys #fun #live #webshow #podcast #liveBroadcast #Entertainment www.instagram.com/reel/Cx_ZNfR...