Morgue Barbie, MD
@pathologiste08.bsky.social
Mer. Last Responder. She/elle
I like running obscenely long distances in exchange for shiny things🏅and street cred. 😎
Jesus might turn water into wine, but he can’t turn your whining into anything.
I like running obscenely long distances in exchange for shiny things🏅and street cred. 😎
Jesus might turn water into wine, but he can’t turn your whining into anything.
Pinned
It's like le subjonctif in French. You don't understand it--you just get used to it.
Finding Nemo (2003 Children's film)
A father has to work through the devastation of his wife and all but one of his children being murdered by a serial killer, only for his one surviving son to be kidnapped. The father must overcome severe anxiety and depression to rescue his son.
Rated G.
A father has to work through the devastation of his wife and all but one of his children being murdered by a serial killer, only for his one surviving son to be kidnapped. The father must overcome severe anxiety and depression to rescue his son.
Rated G.
Secret of Nimh (1982 CHILDRENS FILM)
A widow mouse struggles to care for her deathly ill child, humans experiment on the rats, multiple traumatic near death experiences of children, many graphic murders, also the art is dark and terrifying (thank u don bluth)
Also rated G for holy fucking shit
A widow mouse struggles to care for her deathly ill child, humans experiment on the rats, multiple traumatic near death experiences of children, many graphic murders, also the art is dark and terrifying (thank u don bluth)
Also rated G for holy fucking shit
Rock a doodle do (1991 CHILDRENS FILM)
Rooster elvis gets feels shame and gets so depressed the fuckin skies open up and start to drown the whole world
Rated G for what the fuck
Rooster elvis gets feels shame and gets so depressed the fuckin skies open up and start to drown the whole world
Rated G for what the fuck
October 14, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Finding Nemo (2003 Children's film)
A father has to work through the devastation of his wife and all but one of his children being murdered by a serial killer, only for his one surviving son to be kidnapped. The father must overcome severe anxiety and depression to rescue his son.
Rated G.
A father has to work through the devastation of his wife and all but one of his children being murdered by a serial killer, only for his one surviving son to be kidnapped. The father must overcome severe anxiety and depression to rescue his son.
Rated G.
Guy in my neighborhood has a WFH setup in his yard, complete with a standing desk, dual monitor computer setup, and large TV, all on wheeled desks for ease of movement.
That is the energy we need to bring into the final months of 2025.
That is the energy we need to bring into the final months of 2025.
October 13, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Guy in my neighborhood has a WFH setup in his yard, complete with a standing desk, dual monitor computer setup, and large TV, all on wheeled desks for ease of movement.
That is the energy we need to bring into the final months of 2025.
That is the energy we need to bring into the final months of 2025.
Bank: *sends email*
Me: *logs into email*
Bank: You have a message. Could be urgent. 🤷🏻♀️
Me: *logs into bank app*
Me: *navigates to messaging feature in bank app* *opens new message*
Bank: lol hi. :)
Me: *logs into email*
Bank: You have a message. Could be urgent. 🤷🏻♀️
Me: *logs into bank app*
Me: *navigates to messaging feature in bank app* *opens new message*
Bank: lol hi. :)
September 16, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Bank: *sends email*
Me: *logs into email*
Bank: You have a message. Could be urgent. 🤷🏻♀️
Me: *logs into bank app*
Me: *navigates to messaging feature in bank app* *opens new message*
Bank: lol hi. :)
Me: *logs into email*
Bank: You have a message. Could be urgent. 🤷🏻♀️
Me: *logs into bank app*
Me: *navigates to messaging feature in bank app* *opens new message*
Bank: lol hi. :)
"There are two wolves inside me, and all three of us are trying our best." -Me to my autopsy tech
September 7, 2025 at 9:14 PM
"There are two wolves inside me, and all three of us are trying our best." -Me to my autopsy tech
Not gonna lie, the one upside of the tariff drama is that my online spending has been curtailed significantly since all the countries I usually buy stuff from aren't shipping to the US 🤷🏻♀️ #BrightSide 💰💰💰
August 31, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Not gonna lie, the one upside of the tariff drama is that my online spending has been curtailed significantly since all the countries I usually buy stuff from aren't shipping to the US 🤷🏻♀️ #BrightSide 💰💰💰
Me: That was a good run!
Garmin ⌚️: Looks like the cats aren't the only pussies in this house.
#JustRunnerThings
Garmin ⌚️: Looks like the cats aren't the only pussies in this house.
#JustRunnerThings
August 20, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Me: That was a good run!
Garmin ⌚️: Looks like the cats aren't the only pussies in this house.
#JustRunnerThings
Garmin ⌚️: Looks like the cats aren't the only pussies in this house.
#JustRunnerThings
Once my nervous system figures out the difference between a charging rhinoceros and a telephone call, it's OVER for you hoes
July 11, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Once my nervous system figures out the difference between a charging rhinoceros and a telephone call, it's OVER for you hoes
Breadcrumbing isn't acceptable in situationships, and it sure isn't acceptable in governance.
July 4, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Breadcrumbing isn't acceptable in situationships, and it sure isn't acceptable in governance.
Reposted by Morgue Barbie, MD
Y’all can go blame the GOP all you want. But they’ve told you for a long time what they wanted to do.
There’s only one group of people that decided to put their “movement” above you and your loved ones who didn’t even let the Democratic candidate BREATHE without harassing them…
There’s only one group of people that decided to put their “movement” above you and your loved ones who didn’t even let the Democratic candidate BREATHE without harassing them…
July 1, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Y’all can go blame the GOP all you want. But they’ve told you for a long time what they wanted to do.
There’s only one group of people that decided to put their “movement” above you and your loved ones who didn’t even let the Democratic candidate BREATHE without harassing them…
There’s only one group of people that decided to put their “movement” above you and your loved ones who didn’t even let the Democratic candidate BREATHE without harassing them…
I never dreamed I'd be 35 years old and still stressed out over a retainer, but here we are.
(The orthodontic kind of retainer, not the fee kind, FWIW)
(The orthodontic kind of retainer, not the fee kind, FWIW)
July 1, 2025 at 2:30 AM
I never dreamed I'd be 35 years old and still stressed out over a retainer, but here we are.
(The orthodontic kind of retainer, not the fee kind, FWIW)
(The orthodontic kind of retainer, not the fee kind, FWIW)
Whoopsies dropped my phone and next thing I knew I'd signed up for another marathon
I hate when that happens
I hate when that happens
June 3, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Whoopsies dropped my phone and next thing I knew I'd signed up for another marathon
I hate when that happens
I hate when that happens
What the world needs, I've decided, is hospitality with 5-star amenities and blue-collar service.
Impeccable food, high thread count sheets, priority boarding, BUT the staff will cuss, tell you straight-up when you're out of line, and won't be weird about it if you want to carry your own bags
Impeccable food, high thread count sheets, priority boarding, BUT the staff will cuss, tell you straight-up when you're out of line, and won't be weird about it if you want to carry your own bags
May 23, 2025 at 9:54 PM
What the world needs, I've decided, is hospitality with 5-star amenities and blue-collar service.
Impeccable food, high thread count sheets, priority boarding, BUT the staff will cuss, tell you straight-up when you're out of line, and won't be weird about it if you want to carry your own bags
Impeccable food, high thread count sheets, priority boarding, BUT the staff will cuss, tell you straight-up when you're out of line, and won't be weird about it if you want to carry your own bags
My new conspiracy theory is that raccoons are simply North American leprechauns.
May 20, 2025 at 1:58 AM
My new conspiracy theory is that raccoons are simply North American leprechauns.
Reposted by Morgue Barbie, MD
Listen up: cancer is not a punishment for someone you think is a bad person.
Cancer doesn't give a damn who you are. When you frame Biden's diagnosis as a MORAL judgement, this applies to all cancer patients.
Including my damn mom, who died from it.
Some of y'all need a nap and therapy.
Cancer doesn't give a damn who you are. When you frame Biden's diagnosis as a MORAL judgement, this applies to all cancer patients.
Including my damn mom, who died from it.
Some of y'all need a nap and therapy.
May 19, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Listen up: cancer is not a punishment for someone you think is a bad person.
Cancer doesn't give a damn who you are. When you frame Biden's diagnosis as a MORAL judgement, this applies to all cancer patients.
Including my damn mom, who died from it.
Some of y'all need a nap and therapy.
Cancer doesn't give a damn who you are. When you frame Biden's diagnosis as a MORAL judgement, this applies to all cancer patients.
Including my damn mom, who died from it.
Some of y'all need a nap and therapy.
What in the dust bowl bullshit is this?
May 16, 2025 at 11:33 PM
What in the dust bowl bullshit is this?
Now what if they made huge Ubers that could seat 20+ people and another 20 with standing room, and they had them run on specific routes at specific times? With an app where you could pay the fare and track its position in real time?
Oh wait. That already exists and it's called a bus. 🚍
Oh wait. That already exists and it's called a bus. 🚍
May 16, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Now what if they made huge Ubers that could seat 20+ people and another 20 with standing room, and they had them run on specific routes at specific times? With an app where you could pay the fare and track its position in real time?
Oh wait. That already exists and it's called a bus. 🚍
Oh wait. That already exists and it's called a bus. 🚍
Maybe whomever they sell the info to can also witness millions of athletes being bullied by their Garmin watches. #LookingOnTheBrightSide
All of these smart devices that like track your sleep or heart rate or whatever kind of freak me out because what if they’re just selling your health data
May 13, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Maybe whomever they sell the info to can also witness millions of athletes being bullied by their Garmin watches. #LookingOnTheBrightSide
My Council of Eunuchs is hosting an intervention and has invited me to have a seat and give them 5 minutes of my time.
May 12, 2025 at 3:13 PM
My Council of Eunuchs is hosting an intervention and has invited me to have a seat and give them 5 minutes of my time.
Since both my cats are fixed, I've begun referring to them as my Council of Eunuchs.
May 11, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Since both my cats are fixed, I've begun referring to them as my Council of Eunuchs.
Unbothered. Moisturized. In his lane. Goblin. Thriving.
May 11, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Unbothered. Moisturized. In his lane. Goblin. Thriving.
Reposted by Morgue Barbie, MD
A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope
May 8, 2025 at 5:36 PM
A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope
Reposted by Morgue Barbie, MD
This is The Last Supper now.
May 8, 2025 at 5:20 PM
This is The Last Supper now.
Chicago Pope means no meat on Fridays, unless it's in a deep dish pizza.
May 8, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Chicago Pope means no meat on Fridays, unless it's in a deep dish pizza.
I got tacos
Say "I love you" without saying those 3 words:
I brought you your exact codfee order.
I brought you your exact codfee order.
I got your dry cleaning
May 4, 2025 at 10:56 PM
I got tacos