[restaurant]

me: if it's a boy let's call him Barry

her: ok

waiter: good evening

me: good evening Barry

My door is always open if you want to stop by and fix my door

child custody rap battle

I’ve never been popular, so being hunted for sport would be pretty confusing for me.

Yes, I fell for the "Got your nose" trick, but that shouldn't distract us from the real issue of nose theft in our society

I just flew in from Chernobyl and boy are my arms legs