M. Bison's Swan Song
@onenotepony.bsky.social
Oxford Comma Mafia, Philly trash. Missed my midterms and flunked shampoo. Questioning your commitment to Sparkle Motion since 2008. RTs = attestations of love. 永遠の一年生。
Pinned
Milk sugar is called lactose because cows have hooves, and therefore lack toes.
The "never Kamala" mfers like to pretend there's no way to tell if her Israel policy would have been any different from Trump's, but I can tell you the precise number of Venezuelan fisherman she would have murdered.
January 5, 2026 at 4:47 AM
The "never Kamala" mfers like to pretend there's no way to tell if her Israel policy would have been any different from Trump's, but I can tell you the precise number of Venezuelan fisherman she would have murdered.
I've often thought the reflexive "it's about the oil!" from the left was a bit simplistic and reductive, so it's very refreshing to have a warmonger who's quite open about it being about the oil. Though it's still not just about the oil.
January 5, 2026 at 4:07 AM
I've often thought the reflexive "it's about the oil!" from the left was a bit simplistic and reductive, so it's very refreshing to have a warmonger who's quite open about it being about the oil. Though it's still not just about the oil.
Hi, I'm double pneumonia / ice on I-81 and the wall of wind from a truck coming up fast behind / a combination of asthma and a fuckton of sea urchins / a youthful recklessness borne of self-loathing and spite.
January 5, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Hi, I'm double pneumonia / ice on I-81 and the wall of wind from a truck coming up fast behind / a combination of asthma and a fuckton of sea urchins / a youthful recklessness borne of self-loathing and spite.
Reposted by M. Bison's Swan Song
Was expecting some fraught political doublespeak, corporate twaddle, yoot slang, or something referring to AI. Leave it to me to get something relentlessly prosaic.
January 1, 2026 at 10:12 PM
Was expecting some fraught political doublespeak, corporate twaddle, yoot slang, or something referring to AI. Leave it to me to get something relentlessly prosaic.
Imagining a language proficiency scale based on which of these sentences is most useful to you when traveling:
"Sorry, I don't speak <language>."
"Please say that again, more slowly."
"Please keep speaking <your language>, I want to practice."
"Talk normal, buddy, I'm not six."
"Sorry, I don't speak <language>."
"Please say that again, more slowly."
"Please keep speaking <your language>, I want to practice."
"Talk normal, buddy, I'm not six."
December 31, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Imagining a language proficiency scale based on which of these sentences is most useful to you when traveling:
"Sorry, I don't speak <language>."
"Please say that again, more slowly."
"Please keep speaking <your language>, I want to practice."
"Talk normal, buddy, I'm not six."
"Sorry, I don't speak <language>."
"Please say that again, more slowly."
"Please keep speaking <your language>, I want to practice."
"Talk normal, buddy, I'm not six."
Search your first name and then "glamour shot" and post a photo.
December 25, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Search your first name and then "glamour shot" and post a photo.
Reposted by M. Bison's Swan Song
I count 10 cities in 2025 that are on track to have the fewest murders since at least 1970. Newark is on pace to have the fewest murders since 1956 (though only have data through Oct this year) and San Francisco is on pace to have the fewest murders since 1942.
December 23, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I count 10 cities in 2025 that are on track to have the fewest murders since at least 1970. Newark is on pace to have the fewest murders since 1956 (though only have data through Oct this year) and San Francisco is on pace to have the fewest murders since 1942.
Reposted by M. Bison's Swan Song
Cracking up since a robotext earlier couldn't make up it's mind on what to text, so it just sent EVERYTHING AT ONCE
December 18, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Cracking up since a robotext earlier couldn't make up it's mind on what to text, so it just sent EVERYTHING AT ONCE
A lot of MAGA accounts at the other place posting weird thirst traps of Karoline Leavitt in yoga pants or bikinis to "counter" the photo in Vanity Fair seem to be implying that it would have been better if VF had published pictures of her tits instead.
December 17, 2025 at 8:32 PM
A lot of MAGA accounts at the other place posting weird thirst traps of Karoline Leavitt in yoga pants or bikinis to "counter" the photo in Vanity Fair seem to be implying that it would have been better if VF had published pictures of her tits instead.
The most interesting thing about DJT's rant about Rob Reiner is how nakedly he expresses his core weakness. His whole life he's been desperate to be liked and acknowledged by famous people, esp. those who are actually successful, and RR's unforgivable sin is just... not liking him.
December 17, 2025 at 2:46 AM
The most interesting thing about DJT's rant about Rob Reiner is how nakedly he expresses his core weakness. His whole life he's been desperate to be liked and acknowledged by famous people, esp. those who are actually successful, and RR's unforgivable sin is just... not liking him.
the kid: My music teacher said when you're playing piano you shouldn't play too quietly.
me: So he's teaching you to play fortissimo?
kid: No, he's teaching us *piano*.
me: So he's teaching you to play fortissimo?
kid: No, he's teaching us *piano*.
December 4, 2025 at 12:10 AM
the kid: My music teacher said when you're playing piano you shouldn't play too quietly.
me: So he's teaching you to play fortissimo?
kid: No, he's teaching us *piano*.
me: So he's teaching you to play fortissimo?
kid: No, he's teaching us *piano*.
AI has truly revolutionized business communication. Where once you'd write a sentence or two asking for what you needed, now you can get AI to turn it into 3-page memo. Then the recipient will get AI to summarize it for them into a sentence or two that vaguely resembles your original request.
December 2, 2025 at 6:21 PM
AI has truly revolutionized business communication. Where once you'd write a sentence or two asking for what you needed, now you can get AI to turn it into 3-page memo. Then the recipient will get AI to summarize it for them into a sentence or two that vaguely resembles your original request.
Parade is on so I'm hearing a lot more pop country than I ever would otherwise & am convinced they try super hard to sing with a broad accent because normally singing flattens that sort of thing. "Ahm a gell who lahks hosses" and such.
November 28, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Parade is on so I'm hearing a lot more pop country than I ever would otherwise & am convinced they try super hard to sing with a broad accent because normally singing flattens that sort of thing. "Ahm a gell who lahks hosses" and such.
Al Roker gets smaller every year. In ten years the Macy's Parade booth is just going to have a little cricket in a top hat.
November 27, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Al Roker gets smaller every year. In ten years the Macy's Parade booth is just going to have a little cricket in a top hat.
Will somebody please tell my cat he's an obligate carnivore before he eats all of my romanesco?
November 22, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Will somebody please tell my cat he's an obligate carnivore before he eats all of my romanesco?
Pretty sure this paragraph is about Gardevoir.
It needs to be emphasized that this paragraph is about Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
November 18, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Pretty sure this paragraph is about Gardevoir.
I am now officially the age where you randomly Google the names of old girlfriends to see how they're doing, and the first hit is their obituary.
November 18, 2025 at 5:48 PM
I am now officially the age where you randomly Google the names of old girlfriends to see how they're doing, and the first hit is their obituary.
Marvel Rivals unveils exclusive "Asgardian Leatherdaddy" character.
November 14, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Marvel Rivals unveils exclusive "Asgardian Leatherdaddy" character.
Mamdani is going to implement Shipoopi Law. Women will not be allowed to kiss you until the third date.
Mamdani is going to implement Shar Law. Everyone will have to bow down to the Mistress of the Night, the Lady of Loss, and devote themselves to bringing about a darkness that will smother her hated foe and sister Selûne
Mamdani is going to implement My Sharona law. Everyone will have to create songs with undeniable rock beats.
November 9, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Mamdani is going to implement Shipoopi Law. Women will not be allowed to kiss you until the third date.
Reposted by M. Bison's Swan Song
Hearing "the extremisms and the burnings and the logical thinkings" in this voice
October 23, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Hearing "the extremisms and the burnings and the logical thinkings" in this voice
The @theatlantic.com app is an overall good user experience, but could use improvement. For one, why does "Follow" for an author prompt you to sign up for email alerts? I don't want more email! I'm literally reading a push-capable app right now, just notify me when Helen Lewis writes something!
October 16, 2025 at 6:42 PM
The @theatlantic.com app is an overall good user experience, but could use improvement. For one, why does "Follow" for an author prompt you to sign up for email alerts? I don't want more email! I'm literally reading a push-capable app right now, just notify me when Helen Lewis writes something!
I'm a politically homeless, independent free thinker whose heterodox opinions don't fit neatly into any of your little boxes, maaaaan, and anyway that's why all my positions precisely mirror those of the party currently in power.
October 14, 2025 at 10:26 PM
I'm a politically homeless, independent free thinker whose heterodox opinions don't fit neatly into any of your little boxes, maaaaan, and anyway that's why all my positions precisely mirror those of the party currently in power.
Website and app developers: the "remember me" checkbox for MFA challenges (or whatever similar feature you use) should go somewhere that the user will notice and interact with *before* they click through.
October 9, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Website and app developers: the "remember me" checkbox for MFA challenges (or whatever similar feature you use) should go somewhere that the user will notice and interact with *before* they click through.