@oldgittim.bsky.social
whisky drinking, biker, healthcare professional and Twitter refugee.
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More than 200,000 Danish citizens have signed a petition to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland.
They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”
They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”
January 17, 2026 at 5:36 PM
More than 200,000 Danish citizens have signed a petition to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland.
They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”
They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”
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Breaking - A full dog poo bag that had been left in a puddle of sick for three weeks has defected to Reform.
January 15, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Breaking - A full dog poo bag that had been left in a puddle of sick for three weeks has defected to Reform.
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Is it slander or libel to call my work ai? Just want to get the paperwork correct.
January 15, 2026 at 12:01 PM
Is it slander or libel to call my work ai? Just want to get the paperwork correct.
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Apparently, it is now acceptable to attain a new status in life, simply by proclamation.
I hereby declare I am a 6' 2", 27 yr-old EGOT winner who is currently dating Taylor Swift.
Thank you for your attention to our delusions.
I hereby declare I am a 6' 2", 27 yr-old EGOT winner who is currently dating Taylor Swift.
Thank you for your attention to our delusions.
January 13, 2026 at 8:07 PM
Apparently, it is now acceptable to attain a new status in life, simply by proclamation.
I hereby declare I am a 6' 2", 27 yr-old EGOT winner who is currently dating Taylor Swift.
Thank you for your attention to our delusions.
I hereby declare I am a 6' 2", 27 yr-old EGOT winner who is currently dating Taylor Swift.
Thank you for your attention to our delusions.
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No actor has ever achieved more fame and success with less range than Clint Eastwood.
January 7, 2026 at 8:55 AM
No actor has ever achieved more fame and success with less range than Clint Eastwood.
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Ever wanted to argue your opinion live? Rob Manuel's Anon Opin Live is your chance. Leicester shows: 12–13 Feb 2026. https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
January 3, 2026 at 2:10 AM
Ever wanted to argue your opinion live? Rob Manuel's Anon Opin Live is your chance. Leicester shows: 12–13 Feb 2026. https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
True
Your admin Rob Manuel is taking Anon Opin Live for a spin. Catch the full show in Leicester (12–13 Feb 2026). Come argue your opinion - live. https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
December 28, 2025 at 8:59 PM
True
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🤣
I'm in my 50s and my wife is convinced I'm having an affair. In reality, I'm spending the time and money with a driving instructor learning how to reverse park.
December 25, 2025 at 3:31 PM
🤣
A cold morning blast before Christmas
December 24, 2025 at 11:56 AM
A cold morning blast before Christmas
I will have it!
Christmas giveaway time! I've got a 2026 Calendar in need of a good home. For a chance to win it just click Follow/Like/Retweet (and if you can spare a couple of quid a month & want to encourage me, sign up to my Patreon.com/happytoast - but that bit's not necessary to win)
December 22, 2025 at 3:46 PM
I will have it!
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Ex-teacher here. Moved to a basic office job this week. The straw that broke the camel's back was a parent of a 15 year old telling me their well behaved princess would never play up in school. Reader, she stabbed me with a pen so hard I needed stitches.
December 12, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Ex-teacher here. Moved to a basic office job this week. The straw that broke the camel's back was a parent of a 15 year old telling me their well behaved princess would never play up in school. Reader, she stabbed me with a pen so hard I needed stitches.
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Short cars should be made to have tall roof aerials with a flag attached so that other drivers in a car park can see a space is filled before starting to turn into the space.
December 11, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Short cars should be made to have tall roof aerials with a flag attached so that other drivers in a car park can see a space is filled before starting to turn into the space.
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Ordered a pair of trousers from Next. Received a pair that had very obviously been returned previously and repackaged. Tried them on anyway and found £50 in the pocket. Returned the trousers, kept the cash. Early birthday treat for me. Not sorry.
December 3, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Ordered a pair of trousers from Next. Received a pair that had very obviously been returned previously and repackaged. Tried them on anyway and found £50 in the pocket. Returned the trousers, kept the cash. Early birthday treat for me. Not sorry.
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Anyone who watches videos or listens to music out loud on public transport should receive an automatic fine. Get some earphones or learn to live without an Instagram reel for 10 minutes, twats.
December 2, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Anyone who watches videos or listens to music out loud on public transport should receive an automatic fine. Get some earphones or learn to live without an Instagram reel for 10 minutes, twats.
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Let's just jail everyone driving a Range Rover or American pickup. Sure some innocent people would go to prison but I'm pretty sure the majority would be like "Yeah, fair cop"
December 1, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Let's just jail everyone driving a Range Rover or American pickup. Sure some innocent people would go to prison but I'm pretty sure the majority would be like "Yeah, fair cop"
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Told my friends I've taken up running for health reasons but really my main motivation for it was the last time I gave a guy a blowjob I got so out of breath that I had to stop
December 1, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Told my friends I've taken up running for health reasons but really my main motivation for it was the last time I gave a guy a blowjob I got so out of breath that I had to stop
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The best sex of my life was with a guy who looked like a hobbit. Short, stacked and fucked like a train. Not been able to watch Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit since without blushing.
November 29, 2025 at 8:20 PM
The best sex of my life was with a guy who looked like a hobbit. Short, stacked and fucked like a train. Not been able to watch Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit since without blushing.
Great to see the Hives in Manchester last night with top support from Spritual Cramp
November 29, 2025 at 9:41 AM
Great to see the Hives in Manchester last night with top support from Spritual Cramp
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If you think a seventh prime minister in ten years will magically solve the structural problems, deep malaise and febrile atmosphere caused by austerity, Brexit and social media, you're a fundamentally unserious person.
November 28, 2025 at 12:55 PM
If you think a seventh prime minister in ten years will magically solve the structural problems, deep malaise and febrile atmosphere caused by austerity, Brexit and social media, you're a fundamentally unserious person.
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Generally speaking, getting a driving licence makes you a better cyclist, and being a regular cyclist makes you a better driver.
November 27, 2025 at 9:55 AM
Generally speaking, getting a driving licence makes you a better cyclist, and being a regular cyclist makes you a better driver.
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It's fucking ridiculous that it's cheaper to get a plane from London to Glasgow than a train.
November 27, 2025 at 9:55 PM
It's fucking ridiculous that it's cheaper to get a plane from London to Glasgow than a train.
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We only need one golf course in this entire country. Have you seen how empty they always are? What a waste of space. Choose one to keep, turn the rest into rewilded nature reserves.
November 26, 2025 at 11:55 AM
We only need one golf course in this entire country. Have you seen how empty they always are? What a waste of space. Choose one to keep, turn the rest into rewilded nature reserves.