(Pouring gin into my IV bag) I'm having a "liquid lunch" today
Nurse: I'm not stopping you this time. I have nightmares about the things you've said to me
Nurse: I'm not stopping you this time. I have nightmares about the things you've said to me
October 29, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Reposted by SKYLER!
you can tell I'm all fucked up inside cause my favourite pasta sauce is Puttanesca
June 4, 2025 at 11:27 PM
you can tell I'm all fucked up inside cause my favourite pasta sauce is Puttanesca
one of my favorite kinds of conspiracy theory is the "almost true but you're an idiot" subgenre. no, 5G towers won't mutate your children or give you cancer. don't try to use a dissambled microwave though it WILL boil your eyeballs
May 1, 2025 at 3:39 PM
one of my favorite kinds of conspiracy theory is the "almost true but you're an idiot" subgenre. no, 5G towers won't mutate your children or give you cancer. don't try to use a dissambled microwave though it WILL boil your eyeballs
Reposted by SKYLER!
Becoming a “thank you for your service” guy for a car dealership is the logical endpoint of American conservatism
March 26, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Becoming a “thank you for your service” guy for a car dealership is the logical endpoint of American conservatism
most of the time the beef between electrical and mechanical engineers is entirely made-up but yesterday i was playing magic with an EE and he asked if there were any three-sided dice. in that moment the fighting spirit of academic superiority swelled within me like a jojos character
March 14, 2025 at 7:25 PM
most of the time the beef between electrical and mechanical engineers is entirely made-up but yesterday i was playing magic with an EE and he asked if there were any three-sided dice. in that moment the fighting spirit of academic superiority swelled within me like a jojos character
Reposted by SKYLER!
billy joel should write a sequel to piano man from the perspective of the guy fucking his gin & tonic
February 16, 2025 at 5:55 PM
billy joel should write a sequel to piano man from the perspective of the guy fucking his gin & tonic
Reposted by SKYLER!
lunar calendar? buddy, we're on earth
February 9, 2025 at 1:18 AM
lunar calendar? buddy, we're on earth
had a dream where i was hiding in the closet from the terrifier clown and when his back was turned i brained him with my bass guitar. if anyone out there is getting into dream analysis and needs practice this one's a freebee
February 4, 2025 at 4:59 PM
had a dream where i was hiding in the closet from the terrifier clown and when his back was turned i brained him with my bass guitar. if anyone out there is getting into dream analysis and needs practice this one's a freebee
god being a trans woman is such a comedy. you can have the unmatched experience of self-actualizing everything youve ever wanted and build your happiness from the ground up, but ☝️ caffeine will make you feel like garbage. honestly a difficult conflict to reconcile
January 24, 2025 at 7:48 PM
god being a trans woman is such a comedy. you can have the unmatched experience of self-actualizing everything youve ever wanted and build your happiness from the ground up, but ☝️ caffeine will make you feel like garbage. honestly a difficult conflict to reconcile
the human body is so special. love the way that sudden profuse bleeding from literally any other body part is a cause for immediate serious concern, but the nose "just does that sometimes".
January 18, 2025 at 11:02 PM
the human body is so special. love the way that sudden profuse bleeding from literally any other body part is a cause for immediate serious concern, but the nose "just does that sometimes".
I'LL SHOW YOU A VIOLENT FEMME
January 8, 2025 at 10:44 PM
I'LL SHOW YOU A VIOLENT FEMME
endlessly funny that Groundhog Day has become more associated with hellish single-day time loops than the equally-batshit-crazy premise of "holiday where the mayor asks a big rat to predict the weather"
January 7, 2025 at 4:53 PM
endlessly funny that Groundhog Day has become more associated with hellish single-day time loops than the equally-batshit-crazy premise of "holiday where the mayor asks a big rat to predict the weather"
Reposted by SKYLER!
please stop suggesting I solve my problem by changing my behavior. I do not want to do that
January 5, 2025 at 6:48 PM
please stop suggesting I solve my problem by changing my behavior. I do not want to do that
Reposted by SKYLER!
im told Rudy & Mayor Pete are putting aside the politics to smoke Crack and start a pussy getting bus tour. Our coutnry needs this right now
October 15, 2024 at 9:11 PM
im told Rudy & Mayor Pete are putting aside the politics to smoke Crack and start a pussy getting bus tour. Our coutnry needs this right now
dril has done unfathomable damage to the art of posting. entire genres of textual comedy annihilated by a single dedicated asshole. we should be building statues of that man
January 4, 2025 at 12:04 AM
dril has done unfathomable damage to the art of posting. entire genres of textual comedy annihilated by a single dedicated asshole. we should be building statues of that man
a really good litmus test for someone's usefulness as a horror movie reviewer is what they think of The Autopsy of Jane Doe. i see it consistently pop up on people's best-of lists despite the fact that it is truly, honestly, very OK
December 31, 2024 at 1:32 AM
a really good litmus test for someone's usefulness as a horror movie reviewer is what they think of The Autopsy of Jane Doe. i see it consistently pop up on people's best-of lists despite the fact that it is truly, honestly, very OK
christmastime is a fake holiday made up by Big Family to dupe us all into buying more family members. and it's working
December 25, 2024 at 7:27 PM
christmastime is a fake holiday made up by Big Family to dupe us all into buying more family members. and it's working
love when a piece of clothing is described as "loud". bitch those colors are so bright i can hear them
December 24, 2024 at 12:19 AM
love when a piece of clothing is described as "loud". bitch those colors are so bright i can hear them
Reposted by SKYLER!
I don’t want to be smart any more I’m going to start huffing paint
December 23, 2024 at 5:09 AM
I don’t want to be smart any more I’m going to start huffing paint
stoically pulling up mountain goats This Year like a line cook sitting on a milk crate taking out a bent cigarette from the pack
December 23, 2024 at 12:39 AM
stoically pulling up mountain goats This Year like a line cook sitting on a milk crate taking out a bent cigarette from the pack
Reposted by SKYLER!
The Woody Guthrie Funko Pop does not have "This Machine Kills Fascists" on it for legal reasons, but here's my step-by-step guide for modding Funko Woody so that his timeless message is preserved for the discerning Leftist Collector
December 19, 2024 at 6:43 PM
The Woody Guthrie Funko Pop does not have "This Machine Kills Fascists" on it for legal reasons, but here's my step-by-step guide for modding Funko Woody so that his timeless message is preserved for the discerning Leftist Collector
fuck it. pitching a new netflix special. put me in the ring with former president George W. Bush. obviously if it gets to the fight I'll obliterate that old man but he has a chance to do some real psychological damage at the weigh-in. that's where the REAL entertainment happens
December 17, 2024 at 10:49 PM
fuck it. pitching a new netflix special. put me in the ring with former president George W. Bush. obviously if it gets to the fight I'll obliterate that old man but he has a chance to do some real psychological damage at the weigh-in. that's where the REAL entertainment happens
Reposted by SKYLER!
cast the rizzler as cuno in the live action disco elysium movie
December 16, 2024 at 4:53 AM
cast the rizzler as cuno in the live action disco elysium movie
LMFAO u amateur! you shit idiot! did you just try to denigrate a common practice in a different culture that's taboo in ours on the grounds of morality? LOL go ahead define 'moral' for us. dumbass. ill see you in hell -- if you can outline a concrete set of values that will send me there 🤣🤣🤣
December 15, 2024 at 6:31 PM
LMFAO u amateur! you shit idiot! did you just try to denigrate a common practice in a different culture that's taboo in ours on the grounds of morality? LOL go ahead define 'moral' for us. dumbass. ill see you in hell -- if you can outline a concrete set of values that will send me there 🤣🤣🤣