guelph’s finest poster
@nordicshrew.bsky.social
i was too controversial for the other websites so now i'm here. if you see any of my posts without likes it's because they are too controversial.
checking in once again with the all-time king roy orbison. got a sweet little playlist cooked up on tidal with a bunch of my favourites: crying, only the lonely, running scared, engine on in the garage, golden gate bridge, desperate (make it stop), pretty woman, no funeral, and of course, ooby dooby
November 4, 2025 at 1:04 AM
checking in once again with the all-time king roy orbison. got a sweet little playlist cooked up on tidal with a bunch of my favourites: crying, only the lonely, running scared, engine on in the garage, golden gate bridge, desperate (make it stop), pretty woman, no funeral, and of course, ooby dooby
calling Monster Mash a "halloween novelty song" has proven, time and again, to be a massive miscalculation. seriously one of the most poorly aged takes of all time. it is a song for all occasions and all times of year. it was played at queen elizabeth II's funeral for a reason.
October 27, 2025 at 6:31 PM
calling Monster Mash a "halloween novelty song" has proven, time and again, to be a massive miscalculation. seriously one of the most poorly aged takes of all time. it is a song for all occasions and all times of year. it was played at queen elizabeth II's funeral for a reason.
i think if i walked around with the assault on precinct 13 theme playing it would be cool. and potentially slightly badass as well.
October 22, 2025 at 2:11 AM
i think if i walked around with the assault on precinct 13 theme playing it would be cool. and potentially slightly badass as well.
thanks for the milkshake, man. you didn’t have to. [sipping thoughtfully] say, are you trying to lull me into a false sense of anything, by any chance? i won’t be mad, i’m just curious
October 5, 2025 at 6:18 PM
thanks for the milkshake, man. you didn’t have to. [sipping thoughtfully] say, are you trying to lull me into a false sense of anything, by any chance? i won’t be mad, i’m just curious
Reposted by guelph’s finest poster
INTERVIEWER: As you know, we are a nation beset by myriad horrors. What are you doing to fight back?
SCHUMER: I have been reaching out to the horrors, many of which are friends, in hopes of working together on this for all Americans. You demand we descend into hell? Well ok, but let's do it right.
SCHUMER: I have been reaching out to the horrors, many of which are friends, in hopes of working together on this for all Americans. You demand we descend into hell? Well ok, but let's do it right.
September 29, 2025 at 12:37 AM
INTERVIEWER: As you know, we are a nation beset by myriad horrors. What are you doing to fight back?
SCHUMER: I have been reaching out to the horrors, many of which are friends, in hopes of working together on this for all Americans. You demand we descend into hell? Well ok, but let's do it right.
SCHUMER: I have been reaching out to the horrors, many of which are friends, in hopes of working together on this for all Americans. You demand we descend into hell? Well ok, but let's do it right.
just saw a few squirrels staging and attending a production of waiting for godot at coordinates 43.6875438, -80.4403747
September 28, 2025 at 8:44 PM
just saw a few squirrels staging and attending a production of waiting for godot at coordinates 43.6875438, -80.4403747
let’s get carson back next
September 24, 2025 at 4:37 AM
let’s get carson back next
not going to work on tuesday. going to tell them i got raptured. then when wednesday rolls around and i show up at the office, i’ll explain that heaven sent me back because i forgot my puffer. my co-workers don’t know i’m not asthmatic. should be easy enough to fake an attack or two per year
September 22, 2025 at 3:36 AM
not going to work on tuesday. going to tell them i got raptured. then when wednesday rolls around and i show up at the office, i’ll explain that heaven sent me back because i forgot my puffer. my co-workers don’t know i’m not asthmatic. should be easy enough to fake an attack or two per year
got a customer service email from eventbrite's own [squinting] Himmler...?
September 16, 2025 at 7:23 PM
got a customer service email from eventbrite's own [squinting] Himmler...?
saw a trailer for the bruce springsteen movie and they basically do the "bruce springsteen has to think about his whole life before he plays" thing. we can't go back to this stuff. i'm sorry. hollywood cries out for the cleansing fire of another dewey cox film
September 11, 2025 at 2:05 PM
saw a trailer for the bruce springsteen movie and they basically do the "bruce springsteen has to think about his whole life before he plays" thing. we can't go back to this stuff. i'm sorry. hollywood cries out for the cleansing fire of another dewey cox film
yet another day of being black bagged, shoved in a car, driven to a second location, shot in the head, and dumped in a muddy culvert by my enemies (rhetorically)
September 3, 2025 at 4:54 PM
yet another day of being black bagged, shoved in a car, driven to a second location, shot in the head, and dumped in a muddy culvert by my enemies (rhetorically)
[five beers in at the bar, i pull a crumpled photograph of myself and another 5’9 guy out of my pocket and tap on his face with my finger] that’s my buddy gravy dave. we was munchkins together in oz. [tearing up] he didn’t make it. witch got him. they’re pretty sure it was her. never found the body
August 28, 2025 at 9:23 PM
[five beers in at the bar, i pull a crumpled photograph of myself and another 5’9 guy out of my pocket and tap on his face with my finger] that’s my buddy gravy dave. we was munchkins together in oz. [tearing up] he didn’t make it. witch got him. they’re pretty sure it was her. never found the body
had some gruel at a restaurant last night that i hadn’t had before— oatmeal congee. can’t stop thinking about it. woke up at 5:15 am thinking about how badly i wanted another bowl of slop. crazy flavour profile. one of the best things i have ever tasted. and you could shoot it at me with a big hose
August 25, 2025 at 10:05 AM
had some gruel at a restaurant last night that i hadn’t had before— oatmeal congee. can’t stop thinking about it. woke up at 5:15 am thinking about how badly i wanted another bowl of slop. crazy flavour profile. one of the best things i have ever tasted. and you could shoot it at me with a big hose
might treat myself to a garment from the limited liability bean clothing company this autumn… if i deserve it. i don’t right now. i couldn’t justify it right now, on the basis of my behaviour of late
August 17, 2025 at 5:57 AM
might treat myself to a garment from the limited liability bean clothing company this autumn… if i deserve it. i don’t right now. i couldn’t justify it right now, on the basis of my behaviour of late
this amounts to less than one surprise per day. was business insider simply not able to find a writer with a more developed sense of wonder
August 12, 2025 at 12:43 AM
this amounts to less than one surprise per day. was business insider simply not able to find a writer with a more developed sense of wonder
just hit an elf with my car. no damage at all to the vehicle. his head exploded like a melon, but the bumper is pristine. my condolences to his family. i left the body in the east-side ditch of guelph line, just about 750 metres north of mohawk raceway. his collar said “brayden” on it.
July 27, 2025 at 6:32 AM
just hit an elf with my car. no damage at all to the vehicle. his head exploded like a melon, but the bumper is pristine. my condolences to his family. i left the body in the east-side ditch of guelph line, just about 750 metres north of mohawk raceway. his collar said “brayden” on it.
Reposted by guelph’s finest poster
i hate the game politicians play where they back israel 100% until it starts killing too many people too fast, then they start calling for peace until the killing slows to levels acceptable for them. they're not opposing genocide, they're negotiating how quickly it should proceed
July 25, 2025 at 1:22 PM
i hate the game politicians play where they back israel 100% until it starts killing too many people too fast, then they start calling for peace until the killing slows to levels acceptable for them. they're not opposing genocide, they're negotiating how quickly it should proceed
Reposted by guelph’s finest poster
“Israel is pursuing an extensive PR effort to remove itself from blame for the starvation and killing of Palestinian civilians in Gaza in the face of overwhelming evidence that it is responsible.”
Forceful and necessary pushback to Israeli propaganda by @peterbeaumont.bsky.social
Forceful and necessary pushback to Israeli propaganda by @peterbeaumont.bsky.social
Israel trying to deflect blame for widespread starvation in Gaza
Official and ministers either deny that Palestinians are being affected by hunger or say it is not Israel’s fault
www.theguardian.com
July 25, 2025 at 1:33 PM
“Israel is pursuing an extensive PR effort to remove itself from blame for the starvation and killing of Palestinian civilians in Gaza in the face of overwhelming evidence that it is responsible.”
Forceful and necessary pushback to Israeli propaganda by @peterbeaumont.bsky.social
Forceful and necessary pushback to Israeli propaganda by @peterbeaumont.bsky.social
got double chicken body burger from a&w. delicious. and small diet root beer for my figure
July 20, 2025 at 7:43 PM
got double chicken body burger from a&w. delicious. and small diet root beer for my figure
i would cave gargamel’s skull in with a hammer. i would rip his guts out. i would die fighting for the smurfs. their new movie is in theatres on july 18th. rihanna is smurfette
July 18, 2025 at 12:54 AM
i would cave gargamel’s skull in with a hammer. i would rip his guts out. i would die fighting for the smurfs. their new movie is in theatres on july 18th. rihanna is smurfette
i keep calling mean girls "a major touchstone of post-9/11 cinema" and nobody knows how to stop me from saying it, so they just get mad at me and leave cartridges in my mailbox like i'm russell crowe in "the insider"
July 17, 2025 at 7:18 PM
i keep calling mean girls "a major touchstone of post-9/11 cinema" and nobody knows how to stop me from saying it, so they just get mad at me and leave cartridges in my mailbox like i'm russell crowe in "the insider"
every deceased ancestor of mine died in quicksand. probably something to do with scottish genetics somehow. whatever the cause, i hate seeing that shit depicted in the movies. to me it's no joke. there's nothing funny about it. it's not like diseases or explosions.
July 8, 2025 at 6:33 PM
every deceased ancestor of mine died in quicksand. probably something to do with scottish genetics somehow. whatever the cause, i hate seeing that shit depicted in the movies. to me it's no joke. there's nothing funny about it. it's not like diseases or explosions.
you’ll never catch my prudent little ass getting swept away by a twister and into a wizard of oz-style kinetic situation. with every move i make, i measure twice and cut once. not like dorothy, to whom the weather just “happens” (poor planning)
June 20, 2025 at 4:09 AM
you’ll never catch my prudent little ass getting swept away by a twister and into a wizard of oz-style kinetic situation. with every move i make, i measure twice and cut once. not like dorothy, to whom the weather just “happens” (poor planning)