got a customer service email from eventbrite's own [squinting] Himmler...?

this amounts to less than one surprise per day. was business insider simply not able to find a writer with a more developed sense of wonder

she’s eyeing the caked-up canadian tire grandpa like a tiger watching a toddler from its cage

elon pivoting after another year of mars not getting any closer

getting real about some of beliefs

switching to a different raw egg source due to bird flu fears

me, age 9, trying to reason out why the guy operating the tilt-a-whirl at the fall fair was smirking in a way that i interpreted as intentionally rude and directed at me, personally

wiarton willie... what exactly are you good at, man? i'd love to hear it. one would assume it's the one fucking task your role requires you to do for a few minutes a year, but that's evidently not the case. eagerly anticipating your response.

interpreting this sequence of trending topics on twitter as an exhortation directed at me, personally, and then driving to mississauga's city hall with my jaw set and my eyes like cold steel

the cbc loves to write headlines designed to trick me into thinking that i'm in a depressurized airplane cabin at 35,000 feet

wishing all the americans on here a fun dinner of holding a fork in a weird way and licking its tines while your relatives shout party colours at each other