I mean, we also know he fucken HATES it

I also do this, because the number of people who work at the airport who think it’s okay to just take your phone out of your hand to scan the barcode is all of them, and it fucking sucks. Nobody not me gets to hold this device, it’s too expensive and important.

I don’t even know when my next trip will be but I’m already having packing anxiety in advance

I was so excited to go see Godot and then the ticket prices came with a 60 month 1.2% APR introductory rate and I was like WELP

Oh gosh, fox nighttime warning calls are terrifying. Actual baby in a horror movie noises.

em dashes be all like

Wait, there’s other things to do besides doomscroll and panic?

I played a bunch of arc raiders this weekend, and in that review headline where it says sociability, I thiiink they meant for it to say sociopathy. Because the number of people who play to simply camp the exit feels like it’s around 89%. Just absolute fucking monsters.

I appreciate your consideration for my vices.

I could not believe they had that many pickles in the entire sandwich place, it was bonkers. And my dude ate the whole thing, incredible commitment to the salty bit.

One time I was ordering lunch for our D&D group and my one friend said of his sandwich, “tell them to fuck it up with pickles” and I was like what does that even mean and he says “they’ll know”, so I told them “he says you should fuck it up with pickles?” and boy did they. Put a whole ass jar on it.

And when the bread at your bakery cafe starts to taste just…grey…and you long ago abandoned all of the interesting ingredients like Muenster and Gorgonzola, well, you don’t have much left except your frozen soup. (The soup’s always been frozen in big 1gal bricks, this is actually also fascinating)

This is, I guess, a step up from McDonald’s or whatever where who knows when the fuck the bun was baked, it doesn’t matter because you aren’t there to taste the bread, you just care about the salt and fat. But it does mean that Panera’s bread is going to get much worse very soon.

The daily trucking, was the key. You had to have FDFs all over. Refrigerated dough only keeps for so long in a truck. Fast forward to a couple of years of PE control, and the geniuses are closing all of the FDFs, and hiring local contractors half-bake the bread, to be finish baked in the cafes.

Then you’ve got to knead that shit forever to get the fucken bubbles out. It’s a monumental undertaking that a little cafe isn’t capable of doing at scale. So they opened a big ass fucken factory to do it in every area where they were going to open some cafes. And then trucked fresh dough daily.

What Panera did was, they understood the key to good bread is fresh, UNFROZEN dough. So before opening a bakery cafe, the first step was to build a FRESH DOUGH FACILITY. See, making fresh dough is a fucking pain in the ass. It takes a lot of time and effort. You’ve got to mix literal tons of flour.

Then they got acquired by private equity a few years back, and the big idea of how to make them super profitable instead of just regular profitable was, cut like 30 ingredients out of the supply chain and streamline the menu. Well, okay, that’s dumb. But at least the bread was still great.

Compare that to like 16 ingredients at a McDonald’s or Taco Bell, and you can see how they carved out a position in a crowded fast food market. They had a huge variety of different, fairly healthy food made from fresh ingredients. But also, the bread. They had really good bread.