Your future president
@murphsky.bsky.social
51st state. petting pups, keeping bees, growing plants, baking treats, pumping iron. she/her.
Pinned
Netanyahu is like the CEO of UHC if that helps put the whole genocide thing into perspective.
Jack White was so happy to see Eminem 😍
November 27, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Jack White was so happy to see Eminem 😍
Ina Garten rules the day: chocolate bourbon pecan pie
November 27, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Ina Garten rules the day: chocolate bourbon pecan pie
I want all my candy to be sour, what deficiency do I have?
November 27, 2025 at 6:58 PM
I want all my candy to be sour, what deficiency do I have?
Thanksgiving questions:
Can I have this pie for breakfast?
Can I have this pie for breakfast?
November 27, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Thanksgiving questions:
Can I have this pie for breakfast?
Can I have this pie for breakfast?
Recipe: serves 6 for lunch or 4 for dinner
I guess sometimes people eat less at lunch? Couldn't be me.
I guess sometimes people eat less at lunch? Couldn't be me.
November 25, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Recipe: serves 6 for lunch or 4 for dinner
I guess sometimes people eat less at lunch? Couldn't be me.
I guess sometimes people eat less at lunch? Couldn't be me.
If I make a pecan pie tonight, will it still be here on Thursday?
This is a post about my willpower.
This is a post about my willpower.
November 25, 2025 at 9:14 PM
If I make a pecan pie tonight, will it still be here on Thursday?
This is a post about my willpower.
This is a post about my willpower.
Anyone making Tini's mac and cheese recipe this year, or was that a 2024 only thing?
November 25, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Anyone making Tini's mac and cheese recipe this year, or was that a 2024 only thing?
Saw a tweet the other day about buying cashmere sweaters on eBay for $30, but let me tell you: thrift stores have more than you'd expect, and they're closer to $5
November 24, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Saw a tweet the other day about buying cashmere sweaters on eBay for $30, but let me tell you: thrift stores have more than you'd expect, and they're closer to $5
Reposted by Your future president
The National Society of Children Who Only Eat Dinner Rolls at Thanksgiving disagree with you vehemently.
Rolls. Just not necessary.
November 24, 2025 at 4:38 PM
The National Society of Children Who Only Eat Dinner Rolls at Thanksgiving disagree with you vehemently.
Does THC make you pee?
November 20, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Does THC make you pee?
The curse of flimsy cheap toilet paper getting stuck in your labia
November 19, 2025 at 12:49 AM
The curse of flimsy cheap toilet paper getting stuck in your labia
Reposted by Your future president
Antisemitism is a lot like Qanon child abuse conspiracies in that there’s this real and bad phenomenon and, parallel to that, what can only be described as a large scale mass psychosis about a mostly fictional version of the same phenomenon
November 16, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Antisemitism is a lot like Qanon child abuse conspiracies in that there’s this real and bad phenomenon and, parallel to that, what can only be described as a large scale mass psychosis about a mostly fictional version of the same phenomenon
Reposted by Your future president
Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.
November 14, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.
Why did I think this Epstein stuff was going to be sneaky and well-written?
November 13, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Why did I think this Epstein stuff was going to be sneaky and well-written?
Reposted by Your future president
November 12, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Reposted by Your future president
Right now, Karoline Leavitt is being coached on how to say “ephebophilia” in the least creepy way possible.
November 12, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Right now, Karoline Leavitt is being coached on how to say “ephebophilia” in the least creepy way possible.
Reposted by Your future president
in Paris, I had to see a same-day doctor & I found one. was gravely warned that, as a foreigner, I’d have to pay 32 euros & I laughed & laughed
a friend there said “make sure you get X kind of doctor, not Y, because the Y kind charges 74 WHOLE EUROS” & once again I bitterly, bitterly laughed 😭
a friend there said “make sure you get X kind of doctor, not Y, because the Y kind charges 74 WHOLE EUROS” & once again I bitterly, bitterly laughed 😭
My ACA current plan is going from $385/mo to $821/mo.
November 12, 2025 at 12:48 AM
in Paris, I had to see a same-day doctor & I found one. was gravely warned that, as a foreigner, I’d have to pay 32 euros & I laughed & laughed
a friend there said “make sure you get X kind of doctor, not Y, because the Y kind charges 74 WHOLE EUROS” & once again I bitterly, bitterly laughed 😭
a friend there said “make sure you get X kind of doctor, not Y, because the Y kind charges 74 WHOLE EUROS” & once again I bitterly, bitterly laughed 😭
Ummmm @vinnythomas.bsky.social, what are you doing on the cover of a Washingtonian Magazine?? Are you one of the area's top doctors?
November 12, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Ummmm @vinnythomas.bsky.social, what are you doing on the cover of a Washingtonian Magazine?? Are you one of the area's top doctors?
Got a new job offer but haven't given notice yet...but all of coworkers have probably noticed my lack of giving a fuck suddenly
November 11, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Got a new job offer but haven't given notice yet...but all of coworkers have probably noticed my lack of giving a fuck suddenly
Waking up ready to eat a giant tray of lasagna means I must be lifting weight again
November 11, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Waking up ready to eat a giant tray of lasagna means I must be lifting weight again
JCO sucks generally, but even sucky people can make great jokes about Elon as a treat
November 11, 2025 at 3:14 AM
JCO sucks generally, but even sucky people can make great jokes about Elon as a treat
A bath, sex, a cuddle with my dog, mac and cheese, a walk, winter robe, an edible, bed.
Every day in my home life is a blessing, but tonight was perfect.
Every day in my home life is a blessing, but tonight was perfect.
November 11, 2025 at 3:12 AM
A bath, sex, a cuddle with my dog, mac and cheese, a walk, winter robe, an edible, bed.
Every day in my home life is a blessing, but tonight was perfect.
Every day in my home life is a blessing, but tonight was perfect.
Isn't everyone sick and tired of democrats selling out basically every chance they get?
November 10, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Isn't everyone sick and tired of democrats selling out basically every chance they get?
Nightmares about ICE attacking my neighbors.
He needs to die so our nervous systems can have a chance of calming down again.
He needs to die so our nervous systems can have a chance of calming down again.
November 8, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Nightmares about ICE attacking my neighbors.
He needs to die so our nervous systems can have a chance of calming down again.
He needs to die so our nervous systems can have a chance of calming down again.
Worst user experience of the internet: pop ups
November 6, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Worst user experience of the internet: pop ups