First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
@msgamgee89.bsky.social
A gentleman and a scholar. A thing with teeth and claws.
Pinned
Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy that isn't a selfie.
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Sea turtle
Whale (species unknown)
Bald eagle
Barred owl
Pua'a
Sea turtle
Whale (species unknown)
Bald eagle
Barred owl
Pua'a
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Rattlesnake
Hyena
Tuatara
Orca
Puerto Rican giant millipede
Rattlesnake
Hyena
Tuatara
Orca
Puerto Rican giant millipede
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you’ve seen in the wild:
Bald eagle
Marmot
Elk
Snapping turtle
Humpback whale
Bald eagle
Marmot
Elk
Snapping turtle
Humpback whale
November 29, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Sea turtle
Whale (species unknown)
Bald eagle
Barred owl
Pua'a
Sea turtle
Whale (species unknown)
Bald eagle
Barred owl
Pua'a
Reposted by First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
YOUR TURKEY NEEDS TO COME OUT OF THE FREEZER TODAY 🦃
ATTENTION: today is the day to take your turkey from the freezer and put it in the fridge for thawing
November 22, 2025 at 4:07 PM
YOUR TURKEY NEEDS TO COME OUT OF THE FREEZER TODAY 🦃
There should be a 100% tax on all assets putting one's net worth over $5 million.
"my least woke opinion is---"
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
November 14, 2025 at 5:58 PM
There should be a 100% tax on all assets putting one's net worth over $5 million.
Reposted by First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
You have to survive. There are graves to piss on that haven't been dug yet.
November 4, 2025 at 8:27 PM
You have to survive. There are graves to piss on that haven't been dug yet.
American life is truly dogshit right now. Here are some things I have recently enjoyed:
— Rescuing a stray cat who turned into a devoted snugglebug
— Getting medically sterilized for $0!
— Playing Infinitode 2, a completely free & surprisingly robust mobile tower defense game
— French fries
— Rescuing a stray cat who turned into a devoted snugglebug
— Getting medically sterilized for $0!
— Playing Infinitode 2, a completely free & surprisingly robust mobile tower defense game
— French fries
American life is truly dogshit right now. Here are some things I have recently enjoyed:
— Watching Luka Doncic do pretty much anything
— The new Airpods Pro
— New season of English Teacher
— Counting how many times people say "Good morning" in the new Kathryn Bigelow movie with Kat. (I'd guess 30+?)
— Watching Luka Doncic do pretty much anything
— The new Airpods Pro
— New season of English Teacher
— Counting how many times people say "Good morning" in the new Kathryn Bigelow movie with Kat. (I'd guess 30+?)
November 3, 2025 at 4:16 PM
American life is truly dogshit right now. Here are some things I have recently enjoyed:
— Rescuing a stray cat who turned into a devoted snugglebug
— Getting medically sterilized for $0!
— Playing Infinitode 2, a completely free & surprisingly robust mobile tower defense game
— French fries
— Rescuing a stray cat who turned into a devoted snugglebug
— Getting medically sterilized for $0!
— Playing Infinitode 2, a completely free & surprisingly robust mobile tower defense game
— French fries
No new pictures, where are you at mentally?
September 18, 2025 at 2:23 PM
No new pictures, where are you at mentally?
Let's keep a tally of how many times the vet will ask if I have any paperwork or records for the STRAY CAT for which I have made an appointment, after I stated repeatedly that he is a STRAY CAT that I CAUGHT IN A TRAP IN MY YARD.
We're up to two, and my money is on at least once more.
We're up to two, and my money is on at least once more.
September 5, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Let's keep a tally of how many times the vet will ask if I have any paperwork or records for the STRAY CAT for which I have made an appointment, after I stated repeatedly that he is a STRAY CAT that I CAUGHT IN A TRAP IN MY YARD.
We're up to two, and my money is on at least once more.
We're up to two, and my money is on at least once more.
Reposted by First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
6 days after Soviet troops invaded Czechoslovakia in 1968, a Prague paper published these “10 Commandments”:
‘When a Soviet soldier comes to you, YOU:
1. Don’t know
2. Don’t care
3. Don’t tell
4. Don’t have
5. Don’t know how to
6. Don’t give
7. Can’t do
8. Don’t sell
9. Don’t show
10. Do nothing’
‘When a Soviet soldier comes to you, YOU:
1. Don’t know
2. Don’t care
3. Don’t tell
4. Don’t have
5. Don’t know how to
6. Don’t give
7. Can’t do
8. Don’t sell
9. Don’t show
10. Do nothing’
August 12, 2025 at 1:11 AM
6 days after Soviet troops invaded Czechoslovakia in 1968, a Prague paper published these “10 Commandments”:
‘When a Soviet soldier comes to you, YOU:
1. Don’t know
2. Don’t care
3. Don’t tell
4. Don’t have
5. Don’t know how to
6. Don’t give
7. Can’t do
8. Don’t sell
9. Don’t show
10. Do nothing’
‘When a Soviet soldier comes to you, YOU:
1. Don’t know
2. Don’t care
3. Don’t tell
4. Don’t have
5. Don’t know how to
6. Don’t give
7. Can’t do
8. Don’t sell
9. Don’t show
10. Do nothing’
no cheating! post the last pic of your pet!
August 3, 2025 at 3:52 AM
no cheating! post the last pic of your pet!
People seem to think that gardening is some kind of old lady hobby, and it is, but it's also necessarily metal. I go out with my cup of coffee, peruse my plants, do some light murder, check on the progress of the parasitic wasp pupae, do a bit more murder, see if any tomatoes are ripe, saunter off.
August 2, 2025 at 1:49 PM
People seem to think that gardening is some kind of old lady hobby, and it is, but it's also necessarily metal. I go out with my cup of coffee, peruse my plants, do some light murder, check on the progress of the parasitic wasp pupae, do a bit more murder, see if any tomatoes are ripe, saunter off.
Reposted by First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
I laughed at this video for like 2 minutes straight last night and now you get to
July 25, 2025 at 2:36 PM
I laughed at this video for like 2 minutes straight last night and now you get to
I brought home at least 1 bed bug from a moderately seedy beach motel last weekend so I've been burning the house down while turning it inside out and upside down before the exterminator comes Monday. I've walked 17 miles in my own home in three days, and there's still so much to clean and do.
July 13, 2025 at 4:07 AM
I brought home at least 1 bed bug from a moderately seedy beach motel last weekend so I've been burning the house down while turning it inside out and upside down before the exterminator comes Monday. I've walked 17 miles in my own home in three days, and there's still so much to clean and do.
Reposted by First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
no cops, no corps, everyone else grab a brick and march
June 1, 2025 at 8:13 PM
no cops, no corps, everyone else grab a brick and march
Reposted by First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
Bizarre antique shops are one of the few remaining joys in life and we should all frequent them as often as possible.
May 1, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Bizarre antique shops are one of the few remaining joys in life and we should all frequent them as often as possible.
Reposted by First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
Reposted by First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
if you don't know this band, then we can't hang out
March 2, 2025 at 12:56 AM
if you don't know this band, then we can't hang out
If you see this post a gif from one of your comfort shows
January 31, 2025 at 2:46 AM
If you see this post a gif from one of your comfort shows
I solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion;
January 30, 2025 at 12:52 PM
I solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion;
I don't know if this aloe is desperately distressed or uproariously delighted with its circumstances but it sure is dramatic about it.
January 26, 2025 at 4:41 PM
I don't know if this aloe is desperately distressed or uproariously delighted with its circumstances but it sure is dramatic about it.
Reposted by First, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
This is going to sound corny as fuck but I am awfully grateful for this website this week.
January 22, 2025 at 6:49 PM
This is going to sound corny as fuck but I am awfully grateful for this website this week.
Awakening an eldritch horror from the depths of the sea and bringing about the end of the world as a consequence of reanimating my drowned wife.
January 16, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Awakening an eldritch horror from the depths of the sea and bringing about the end of the world as a consequence of reanimating my drowned wife.
A refrain for trying times, indeed.
January 9, 2025 at 11:55 PM
A refrain for trying times, indeed.
I have received a fine wee fox from @amagire.bsky.social and it is already facing down the local megafauna.
December 18, 2024 at 7:15 PM
I have received a fine wee fox from @amagire.bsky.social and it is already facing down the local megafauna.
A yuletide miracle: getting cold and taking a hot shower to warm up, then managing not to get re-chilled in the period between exiting the shower and getting into bed.
December 15, 2024 at 5:00 AM
A yuletide miracle: getting cold and taking a hot shower to warm up, then managing not to get re-chilled in the period between exiting the shower and getting into bed.