Chris Ward
@mostxlnt.com
Writer since I was 6. Earned my living writing for 25 years. Now teach for a living & write for fun in the South of France. @mostxlnt everywhere. mostxlnt.com for longer meanderings.
Naive art, landscapes, beaches, opera esp. Mozart, cook, pride.
Naive art, landscapes, beaches, opera esp. Mozart, cook, pride.
Issabaht two, two and half weeks' worth, guv.
If he can't get off on a "personal use" excuse then I don't know what Europe's coming to.
December 22, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Issabaht two, two and half weeks' worth, guv.
Reposted by Chris Ward
The weekend before Christmas Eve is here. What better time to decorate your Mac with festive lights and falling snow? 🎄❄️
Get Festivitas for Mac (and iPhone) 👇
festivitas.app
Get Festivitas for Mac (and iPhone) 👇
festivitas.app
December 19, 2025 at 2:42 PM
The weekend before Christmas Eve is here. What better time to decorate your Mac with festive lights and falling snow? 🎄❄️
Get Festivitas for Mac (and iPhone) 👇
festivitas.app
Get Festivitas for Mac (and iPhone) 👇
festivitas.app
Email autoreply set:
This is an automatic reply. I am on holiday until 2026 and will do my best to reply during the next year.
Regards
Chris WARD
Professor of English
This is an automatic reply. I am on holiday until 2026 and will do my best to reply during the next year.
Regards
Chris WARD
Professor of English
December 20, 2025 at 8:37 AM
Email autoreply set:
This is an automatic reply. I am on holiday until 2026 and will do my best to reply during the next year.
Regards
Chris WARD
Professor of English
This is an automatic reply. I am on holiday until 2026 and will do my best to reply during the next year.
Regards
Chris WARD
Professor of English
* Update: Two administrators came to explain to the 3rd year class I was teaching yesterday why the first year of their course was being abandoned. Two of them. To explain why they didn't have the money available to teach two students. Irony is alive and well and living in French schools.
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December 19, 2025 at 5:57 AM
* Update: Two administrators came to explain to the 3rd year class I was teaching yesterday why the first year of their course was being abandoned. Two of them. To explain why they didn't have the money available to teach two students. Irony is alive and well and living in French schools.
Please don't curate your cheese.
December 17, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Please don't curate your cheese.
Seagull
Teenage seagull
Sparrow
Pigeon
Another seagull
Teenage seagull
Sparrow
Pigeon
Another seagull
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Honey Badger
Manta ray
Lion
Badger
Crocodile
Honey Badger
Manta ray
Lion
Badger
Crocodile
Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild:
Mongoose
Barracuda
Chamois
Dolphin
Badger
Mongoose
Barracuda
Chamois
Dolphin
Badger
December 16, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Seagull
Teenage seagull
Sparrow
Pigeon
Another seagull
Teenage seagull
Sparrow
Pigeon
Another seagull
A chilling warning. Leave my pies alone you thieving bastards or you'll be sent to Australia where it's currently sunny and warm. Bugger, this may not be the disincentive I'd planned.
December 16, 2025 at 5:03 PM
A chilling warning. Leave my pies alone you thieving bastards or you'll be sent to Australia where it's currently sunny and warm. Bugger, this may not be the disincentive I'd planned.
"Schools cutting teaching hours where their reputation for top graduates matters will find companies complaining that the students from that school can’t speak English any more, for example. You can write your own consequences here because they’re obvious to anyone wearing spectacles."
France needs glasses
Things are going to shit in France. All of the schools where I work are losing students in large numbers because of stupid government decisions, I am losing work and very few people care about it a…
mostxlnt.com
December 16, 2025 at 7:58 AM
"Schools cutting teaching hours where their reputation for top graduates matters will find companies complaining that the students from that school can’t speak English any more, for example. You can write your own consequences here because they’re obvious to anyone wearing spectacles."
Reposted by Chris Ward
There are SO MANY other ways to effectively fight the the fucking right than screaming into the social media void and making yourself feel as awful as these dickheads actually are. They want to exhaust you here so you feel helpless everywhere else. Fuck them. Conserve your joy, online and off.
December 15, 2025 at 5:56 PM
There are SO MANY other ways to effectively fight the the fucking right than screaming into the social media void and making yourself feel as awful as these dickheads actually are. They want to exhaust you here so you feel helpless everywhere else. Fuck them. Conserve your joy, online and off.
Reposted by Chris Ward
Apropos to a post I'm not going to quote: no, you are not fucking obliged to battle the fucking right on fucking social media, or go to where they are. Why make yourself miserable shouting at bots (who don't care) or trolls (who get off on your misery). Make your fucking social media enjoyable, FFS.
December 15, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Apropos to a post I'm not going to quote: no, you are not fucking obliged to battle the fucking right on fucking social media, or go to where they are. Why make yourself miserable shouting at bots (who don't care) or trolls (who get off on your misery). Make your fucking social media enjoyable, FFS.
While I'm shouting at clouds, how is it that Grace Dent has just given up reviewing restaurants and is instead phoning in stuff she wrote weeks ago? Yes, Sleb (sic) Masterchef but she could equally have reviewed a couple of extra restaurants a month or few ago. Also, Rayner's gone completely Luvvie.
December 14, 2025 at 7:34 AM
While I'm shouting at clouds, how is it that Grace Dent has just given up reviewing restaurants and is instead phoning in stuff she wrote weeks ago? Yes, Sleb (sic) Masterchef but she could equally have reviewed a couple of extra restaurants a month or few ago. Also, Rayner's gone completely Luvvie.
Below is the full list Sleb Masterchef contestants:
Alfie Boe OBE
Alun Wyn Jones OBE
Antony Costa
Ashley Cain
Chris Hughes
Dawn O'Porter
Gaz Choudry MBE
Ginger Johnson
Jaki Graham
Jamie Lomas
Jodie Ounsley
Katie McGlynn
Michelle Heaton
Noreen Khan
Uma Jammeh
Nope, me neither. But then I'm old.
Alfie Boe OBE
Alun Wyn Jones OBE
Antony Costa
Ashley Cain
Chris Hughes
Dawn O'Porter
Gaz Choudry MBE
Ginger Johnson
Jaki Graham
Jamie Lomas
Jodie Ounsley
Katie McGlynn
Michelle Heaton
Noreen Khan
Uma Jammeh
Nope, me neither. But then I'm old.
December 14, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Below is the full list Sleb Masterchef contestants:
Alfie Boe OBE
Alun Wyn Jones OBE
Antony Costa
Ashley Cain
Chris Hughes
Dawn O'Porter
Gaz Choudry MBE
Ginger Johnson
Jaki Graham
Jamie Lomas
Jodie Ounsley
Katie McGlynn
Michelle Heaton
Noreen Khan
Uma Jammeh
Nope, me neither. But then I'm old.
Alfie Boe OBE
Alun Wyn Jones OBE
Antony Costa
Ashley Cain
Chris Hughes
Dawn O'Porter
Gaz Choudry MBE
Ginger Johnson
Jaki Graham
Jamie Lomas
Jodie Ounsley
Katie McGlynn
Michelle Heaton
Noreen Khan
Uma Jammeh
Nope, me neither. But then I'm old.
“We’re not racist. One of my best friends is black.”
Classic. Farage et al need locking up for provoking and encouraging this nonsense.
Classic. Farage et al need locking up for provoking and encouraging this nonsense.
‘Not in our village’: asylum camp rumours prompt fear and night vigils in East Sussex
Crowborough on edge as unconfirmed plan to house asylum seekers in training camp spurs street patrols and pre-emptive protests
www.theguardian.com
December 11, 2025 at 12:19 PM
“We’re not racist. One of my best friends is black.”
Classic. Farage et al need locking up for provoking and encouraging this nonsense.
Classic. Farage et al need locking up for provoking and encouraging this nonsense.
Reposted by Chris Ward
French government organisation: Of course you can pay your (sort of) tax bill in instalments; one of €525 this month, and one of €25 in January. Pfft, I thought, how ridiculous. I'll just pay it all at once.
Oh no, you can't do that. Now you HAVE to pay in instalments.
How generous.
Oh no, you can't do that. Now you HAVE to pay in instalments.
How generous.
December 7, 2025 at 10:11 AM
French government organisation: Of course you can pay your (sort of) tax bill in instalments; one of €525 this month, and one of €25 in January. Pfft, I thought, how ridiculous. I'll just pay it all at once.
Oh no, you can't do that. Now you HAVE to pay in instalments.
How generous.
Oh no, you can't do that. Now you HAVE to pay in instalments.
How generous.
Excellent news from the Girl Guides (WI too soon, I hope). What do the national leaderships of these organisations expect local groups to do? Demand birth certificates and do a genital inspection before each meeting (because you never know those wily Trans could have an op in between meetings).
Girlguiding leaders refuse to enforce 'horrific' trans ban
Girlguiding leaders have told PinkNews they refuse to enforce a new policy banning trans girls from their groups.
www.thepinknews.com
December 6, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Excellent news from the Girl Guides (WI too soon, I hope). What do the national leaderships of these organisations expect local groups to do? Demand birth certificates and do a genital inspection before each meeting (because you never know those wily Trans could have an op in between meetings).
Bread, pea soup and cake. All the main food groups in one day.
I quite like cooking
I used to cook for a living, as I may have mentioned before (cf My Book), but haven’t done it very much for a while now for one reason or another. Laziness, being too busy, whatever. I have s…
mostxlnt.com
December 6, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Bread, pea soup and cake. All the main food groups in one day.
Ask me - go on, I bloody dare you - how much I love people who send me an email asking what they say is an, and I quote, "Important Question" but then, when I reply literally within four minutes of receiving it they send an auto reply saying "I'm away until the SEVEN BLOODY TEENTH of December".
December 3, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Ask me - go on, I bloody dare you - how much I love people who send me an email asking what they say is an, and I quote, "Important Question" but then, when I reply literally within four minutes of receiving it they send an auto reply saying "I'm away until the SEVEN BLOODY TEENTH of December".
Anyone in any way responsible for forcing the wonderful WI into this position, or anyone rejoicing at this news, needs to hang their head in shame while sodding right off.
Women’s Institute will no longer accept trans women as members from April
Exclusive: CEO says decision taken with ‘utmost regret and sadness’ after supreme court ruling on definition of a woman
www.theguardian.com
December 3, 2025 at 11:41 AM
Anyone in any way responsible for forcing the wonderful WI into this position, or anyone rejoicing at this news, needs to hang their head in shame while sodding right off.
Whoa!
November 22, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Whoa!
Reposted by Chris Ward
"Quiet, piggy!"
November 19, 2025 at 8:33 AM
"Quiet, piggy!"
So both Jay Rayner and Grace Dent have reviewed the new Lilibet's restaurant in Mayfair this week. Looks like they both have increased expense accounts now.
November 9, 2025 at 7:22 AM
So both Jay Rayner and Grace Dent have reviewed the new Lilibet's restaurant in Mayfair this week. Looks like they both have increased expense accounts now.
Reposted by Chris Ward
I lost the framed original of this while I was going through St Pancras on Sunday Nov 2nd around 3pm. Would love if it had been found by anyone?
November 5, 2025 at 11:23 AM
I lost the framed original of this while I was going through St Pancras on Sunday Nov 2nd around 3pm. Would love if it had been found by anyone?
Hardcore.
I do all my work in Emacs and have done do since 1996. I'm not going to scrap my highly tailored work environment for a barely managed corporate Win11 installation.
October 31, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Hardcore.