Adam Somang Karlson
@michaelbeers.bsky.social
This is purely an outlet for jokes I can’t fit into screenplays, I have normal/marketable opinions about things that actually matter. Please hire me.
Pinned
*centrist political opinion mixed with a media reference that doesn’t anger the current institutions in power or potential employers*
Job from the Bible would’ve killed himself 4 hours in to the day I just had
November 14, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Job from the Bible would’ve killed himself 4 hours in to the day I just had
I feel like James Franco talks about his Comedy Central Roast like that one guy at the end of Sinners
November 6, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I feel like James Franco talks about his Comedy Central Roast like that one guy at the end of Sinners
The papacy has no use for me
What’s the fuckin point man
What’s the fuckin point man
March 10, 2025 at 7:04 AM
The papacy has no use for me
What’s the fuckin point man
What’s the fuckin point man
I feel like if you made Sabrina Carpenter chug a Bang energy drink it would kill her so I hope nobody does that
February 22, 2025 at 11:24 PM
I feel like if you made Sabrina Carpenter chug a Bang energy drink it would kill her so I hope nobody does that
Oh god it’s everywhere
February 13, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Oh god it’s everywhere
I hate Mahomes but I will always respect a man who plays ball like he hates his wife
February 4, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I hate Mahomes but I will always respect a man who plays ball like he hates his wife
Time travel IS POSSIBLE, nobody showed up to your party cause you were friends with Jeffrey Epstein. Fuckin loser dude
February 4, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Time travel IS POSSIBLE, nobody showed up to your party cause you were friends with Jeffrey Epstein. Fuckin loser dude
Saw a therapy dog get PTSD at a Los Angeles Costco
January 17, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Saw a therapy dog get PTSD at a Los Angeles Costco
My dad likes Camp Lazlo more than your dad does
January 10, 2025 at 5:08 AM
My dad likes Camp Lazlo more than your dad does
Reposted by Adam Somang Karlson
I think I'd like to age into dressing like a 1970s basketball coach. Turtleneck under a checkered blazer. Slightly flared leg. Those guys figured something out that Reagan forced us to forget and I want to relearn it.
December 31, 2024 at 3:29 PM
I think I'd like to age into dressing like a 1970s basketball coach. Turtleneck under a checkered blazer. Slightly flared leg. Those guys figured something out that Reagan forced us to forget and I want to relearn it.
Reposted by Adam Somang Karlson
this one sorcerer who lives across the street keeps casting a spell that changes my opinions about stuff and i love it
September 8, 2024 at 12:44 AM
this one sorcerer who lives across the street keeps casting a spell that changes my opinions about stuff and i love it
If I was Jeffrey Dahmer I would’ve just did that shit to ants instead of people
December 2, 2024 at 3:49 PM
If I was Jeffrey Dahmer I would’ve just did that shit to ants instead of people
Reposted by Adam Somang Karlson
videojuego,,,VIDEOJUEGO, ,
November 30, 2024 at 3:45 PM
videojuego,,,VIDEOJUEGO, ,
I’m probably the Michael Jordan of guys who think about swords and Hunter Schafer at work
November 26, 2024 at 7:06 PM
I’m probably the Michael Jordan of guys who think about swords and Hunter Schafer at work
*centrist political opinion mixed with a media reference that doesn’t anger the current institutions in power or potential employers*
November 26, 2024 at 6:53 PM
*centrist political opinion mixed with a media reference that doesn’t anger the current institutions in power or potential employers*
These violent delights are ruining my marriage
November 23, 2024 at 4:42 AM
These violent delights are ruining my marriage
Clown girls make me feel like the bad guy in the Hunchback of Notre Dame
November 23, 2024 at 4:41 AM
Clown girls make me feel like the bad guy in the Hunchback of Notre Dame
What do you mean I can’t get angel shots for the table?
April 21, 2024 at 10:23 PM
What do you mean I can’t get angel shots for the table?
Can’t wait to get a girlfriend so we can do Roger from American Dad things together
March 30, 2024 at 6:39 AM
Can’t wait to get a girlfriend so we can do Roger from American Dad things together
Every single time my mom sees a light skinned actress she asks me if it’s Zendaya. And every single time I say yes
March 3, 2024 at 10:42 AM
Every single time my mom sees a light skinned actress she asks me if it’s Zendaya. And every single time I say yes
Can’t wait for an overrated actor to go method for the role of Santa and he just becomes a nicer and more jolly person on set
February 21, 2024 at 5:53 PM
Can’t wait for an overrated actor to go method for the role of Santa and he just becomes a nicer and more jolly person on set
My mind Palace is just a big ass Wendy’s with a cashier so hot that I’m too shy to ask them for access to my memories
February 19, 2024 at 8:15 PM
My mind Palace is just a big ass Wendy’s with a cashier so hot that I’m too shy to ask them for access to my memories
Reposted by Adam Somang Karlson
going to tanks giving and saying ALL the slurs like weiner and Poopfarts and then my uncle (a Noted Prude) shoots me with a gun, thru the heart
November 23, 2023 at 6:54 PM
going to tanks giving and saying ALL the slurs like weiner and Poopfarts and then my uncle (a Noted Prude) shoots me with a gun, thru the heart
Everything Yukio Mishima ever wrote, I did it first, better, and prettier
November 20, 2023 at 9:15 AM
Everything Yukio Mishima ever wrote, I did it first, better, and prettier
Every time a British person pronounces yogurt, I look up IRA highlights
November 20, 2023 at 6:33 AM
Every time a British person pronounces yogurt, I look up IRA highlights