C'est Beau En Tabarnak
@mauditetabarnak.bsky.social
Puter Nerd. Sector 001/Ithaca/NYC/Philly. Dog loving Shit poster. American for as long as they'll have me. 🏳️🌈 AF.
Pinned
Okay, who did Clippy fuck to create this little monster??
I REALLY wish I didn't share a first name with a Fuentes.
December 2, 2025 at 2:12 AM
I REALLY wish I didn't share a first name with a Fuentes.
Sam Altman's eyes clearly betray the complete void that exists where a soul might have otherwise been.
November 30, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Sam Altman's eyes clearly betray the complete void that exists where a soul might have otherwise been.
BAHAHAHAHA! Bitch, you CLEARLY don't know me.
November 30, 2025 at 4:44 PM
BAHAHAHAHA! Bitch, you CLEARLY don't know me.
Your asking yourself: So that's the estrangement part. What about the extraction?
This part is easy. Imagine the longest cousin walk of your life. I arrive with QP and we ride off to the dive bar one town over.
This part is easy. Imagine the longest cousin walk of your life. I arrive with QP and we ride off to the dive bar one town over.
Nick's Extraction & Estrangement services will get you on the path to drama free holidays in under a year! If I like you, these helpful lessons are free!
November 30, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Your asking yourself: So that's the estrangement part. What about the extraction?
This part is easy. Imagine the longest cousin walk of your life. I arrive with QP and we ride off to the dive bar one town over.
This part is easy. Imagine the longest cousin walk of your life. I arrive with QP and we ride off to the dive bar one town over.
Nick's Extraction & Estrangement services will get you on the path to drama free holidays in under a year! If I like you, these helpful lessons are free!
November 30, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Nick's Extraction & Estrangement services will get you on the path to drama free holidays in under a year! If I like you, these helpful lessons are free!
"I'm putting togethah a sushi menu based on wherah Mahky Mahk's cawk has been since that night with me he won't remembah"
Cool story, ho.
Cool story, ho.
November 29, 2025 at 10:57 PM
"I'm putting togethah a sushi menu based on wherah Mahky Mahk's cawk has been since that night with me he won't remembah"
Cool story, ho.
Cool story, ho.
Well, DOES IT?!
does netflix work in the neutral zone
November 29, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Well, DOES IT?!
There's an old lesbian in town who always wears cowboy hat & boots. She also wears so much WTF fragrance you can taste it from across the room.
My friend Bill refers to her as:
Clit Eastwood
My friend Bill refers to her as:
Clit Eastwood
November 29, 2025 at 7:35 PM
There's an old lesbian in town who always wears cowboy hat & boots. She also wears so much WTF fragrance you can taste it from across the room.
My friend Bill refers to her as:
Clit Eastwood
My friend Bill refers to her as:
Clit Eastwood
297 is basically me at work for the week IRL. My fucken content is being seriously mismanaged.
@mauditetabarnak.bsky.social has swears! They've used 297 profanities in their last 1,516 posts.
🥇 "shit" (31 times)
🥈 "fuck" (28 times)
🥉 "dick" (26 times)
🥇 "shit" (31 times)
🥈 "fuck" (28 times)
🥉 "dick" (26 times)
November 29, 2025 at 6:08 PM
297 is basically me at work for the week IRL. My fucken content is being seriously mismanaged.
@profanity.accountant Tell me if I need to up my game.
November 29, 2025 at 5:47 PM
@profanity.accountant Tell me if I need to up my game.
I'm taking a breather baby from sitting on pins waiting for my sky to fall.
I'm taking up giving in, so here's the wheel, I'm putting my feet up
I'm taking up giving in, so here's the wheel, I'm putting my feet up
November 29, 2025 at 12:31 AM
I'm taking a breather baby from sitting on pins waiting for my sky to fall.
I'm taking up giving in, so here's the wheel, I'm putting my feet up
I'm taking up giving in, so here's the wheel, I'm putting my feet up
"As I've said, if you pick through all that hair and only find one eye, you've got the wrong end of the dog"
I'm not making this shit up.
I'm not making this shit up.
November 27, 2025 at 11:30 PM
"As I've said, if you pick through all that hair and only find one eye, you've got the wrong end of the dog"
I'm not making this shit up.
I'm not making this shit up.
[National Dog Show]
Host 1: This one is a Bernese Mountain dog from Switzerland, not a Burmese, which I realized I was saying incorrectly for many years.
Host 2: We all know about your trips to Burma...
Me: ⁉️
Host 1: This one is a Bernese Mountain dog from Switzerland, not a Burmese, which I realized I was saying incorrectly for many years.
Host 2: We all know about your trips to Burma...
Me: ⁉️
November 27, 2025 at 10:02 PM
[National Dog Show]
Host 1: This one is a Bernese Mountain dog from Switzerland, not a Burmese, which I realized I was saying incorrectly for many years.
Host 2: We all know about your trips to Burma...
Me: ⁉️
Host 1: This one is a Bernese Mountain dog from Switzerland, not a Burmese, which I realized I was saying incorrectly for many years.
Host 2: We all know about your trips to Burma...
Me: ⁉️
National Dog Show: "This is the number one breed for streetwalkers in Paris"
Me [from the kitchen]: WTF?!
Me [from the kitchen]: WTF?!
November 27, 2025 at 9:31 PM
National Dog Show: "This is the number one breed for streetwalkers in Paris"
Me [from the kitchen]: WTF?!
Me [from the kitchen]: WTF?!
I also wish I could just watch on their nest cam or whatever. From this distance, I'm betting it would be wicked entertaining.
On holidays like this, there is always a moment when I wonder "how's the fighting going at that place I haven't been to in 17 years?"
This is that moment.
This is that moment.
November 27, 2025 at 6:53 PM
I also wish I could just watch on their nest cam or whatever. From this distance, I'm betting it would be wicked entertaining.
On holidays like this, there is always a moment when I wonder "how's the fighting going at that place I haven't been to in 17 years?"
This is that moment.
This is that moment.
November 27, 2025 at 6:52 PM
On holidays like this, there is always a moment when I wonder "how's the fighting going at that place I haven't been to in 17 years?"
This is that moment.
This is that moment.
Brought homemade crab rangoon to a party once. My friend Zack said: you know I make em better.
Me: You know we could have the party judge that.
Straight Diane from across the room: GOON OFF!
Me: You know we could have the party judge that.
Straight Diane from across the room: GOON OFF!
November 27, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Brought homemade crab rangoon to a party once. My friend Zack said: you know I make em better.
Me: You know we could have the party judge that.
Straight Diane from across the room: GOON OFF!
Me: You know we could have the party judge that.
Straight Diane from across the room: GOON OFF!
The ribs he was cooking caught fire under the broiler. This is where my heritage comes to the rescue.
Enter: Emergency Pâté & Baguette!
Enter: Emergency Pâté & Baguette!
November 27, 2025 at 5:34 PM
The ribs he was cooking caught fire under the broiler. This is where my heritage comes to the rescue.
Enter: Emergency Pâté & Baguette!
Enter: Emergency Pâté & Baguette!
Reposted by C'est Beau En Tabarnak
Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life https://theonion.com/man-getting-high-and-eating-taco-bell-thousands-of-mile-1845721340/
November 27, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life https://theonion.com/man-getting-high-and-eating-taco-bell-thousands-of-mile-1845721340/
Thinking back to the Thanksgiving when I saw Charlie Brown eating Snoopy's ass from halfway across Central Park.
November 27, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Thinking back to the Thanksgiving when I saw Charlie Brown eating Snoopy's ass from halfway across Central Park.
Did anyone check on Sarah Palin and the turkeys this year?
November 27, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Did anyone check on Sarah Palin and the turkeys this year?
🎶Ain't no meeting like a canceled meeting, cause a canceled meeting don't start🎶
November 26, 2025 at 4:05 PM
🎶Ain't no meeting like a canceled meeting, cause a canceled meeting don't start🎶
Also texted: Spencer is sending me dick pics. I'm not mad, but it's unexpected.
November 26, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Also texted: Spencer is sending me dick pics. I'm not mad, but it's unexpected.
Just remembered I texted the following today: tell me you lost your purity ring in his butthole today
November 26, 2025 at 4:13 AM
Just remembered I texted the following today: tell me you lost your purity ring in his butthole today
I just learned the following fact: you CANNOT jump on trampolines after having children.
November 23, 2025 at 8:23 PM
I just learned the following fact: you CANNOT jump on trampolines after having children.