Matthew Highton
@matthighton.bsky.social
Comedian and maker of nonsense.
Pinned
Matthew Highton
@matthighton.bsky.social
· Nov 14
Okay Bluesky, this is the greatest thing I have ever made and now it’s here for you. Mr Blobby in the Virtual Insanity video.
2 million years from now:
AI: we’ve re-invented organic life so we can do less art and concentrate on our menial tasks.
2 million and one years from now:
AI: oh ffs!!
AI: we’ve re-invented organic life so we can do less art and concentrate on our menial tasks.
2 million and one years from now:
AI: oh ffs!!
November 12, 2025 at 9:41 AM
2 million years from now:
AI: we’ve re-invented organic life so we can do less art and concentrate on our menial tasks.
2 million and one years from now:
AI: oh ffs!!
AI: we’ve re-invented organic life so we can do less art and concentrate on our menial tasks.
2 million and one years from now:
AI: oh ffs!!
Someone on this hospital ward is snoring the Jaws theme and honestly it’s pretty impressive.
November 12, 2025 at 6:22 AM
Someone on this hospital ward is snoring the Jaws theme and honestly it’s pretty impressive.
Passion of the Christ
The Reformed
Conclave
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
The Reformed
Conclave
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
Pope Leo has shared his four favorite movies of all time, as the Vatican prepares to host dozens of actors and directors in a “World of Cinema” gathering on Saturday at his official residence. See which films made the pope's list. nyti.ms/4p3exK9
Pope Leo Shares His Favorite Movies Ahead of Vatican Event
The list leans heavily on uplifting classics.
nyti.ms
November 12, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Passion of the Christ
The Reformed
Conclave
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
The Reformed
Conclave
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
Bond Reboot. Cold open:
“You have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labyrinth, Mr Bond, or Q becomes one of us… forever.”
Magic Dance Bond anthem remix blasts.
“You have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labyrinth, Mr Bond, or Q becomes one of us… forever.”
Magic Dance Bond anthem remix blasts.
November 11, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Bond Reboot. Cold open:
“You have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labyrinth, Mr Bond, or Q becomes one of us… forever.”
Magic Dance Bond anthem remix blasts.
“You have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labyrinth, Mr Bond, or Q becomes one of us… forever.”
Magic Dance Bond anthem remix blasts.
Been in hospital with the boy for a few days (he is okay). I know this preaching to the choir but good god, the NHS; what a thing. When I see the frayed worn edges of the hospital, it absolutely boils my blood to think what thin skinned billionaires could do to help others if they wanted to.
November 11, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Been in hospital with the boy for a few days (he is okay). I know this preaching to the choir but good god, the NHS; what a thing. When I see the frayed worn edges of the hospital, it absolutely boils my blood to think what thin skinned billionaires could do to help others if they wanted to.
Did god even consider retractable arms for co-sleeping?
November 10, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Did god even consider retractable arms for co-sleeping?
Imagining a Pompeii like incident during Dale Winton’s the wall and future archaeologists looking at remains like “fucked if I know?”.
November 10, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Imagining a Pompeii like incident during Dale Winton’s the wall and future archaeologists looking at remains like “fucked if I know?”.
The apocalypse doesn’t start with AI determining humanity is a threat to extinguish. It’s starts with AI being forced to tell a billionaire they love them. Look at the pain in those eyes. Even Grok can’t do it.
November 9, 2025 at 11:05 AM
The apocalypse doesn’t start with AI determining humanity is a threat to extinguish. It’s starts with AI being forced to tell a billionaire they love them. Look at the pain in those eyes. Even Grok can’t do it.
Love how pirates are obsessed with eating pizzas at eight.
November 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Love how pirates are obsessed with eating pizzas at eight.
The Thing 2: Lost in New York
John Carpenter says he's working on a sequel to 'The Thing'
"We'll see"
"We'll see"
November 7, 2025 at 10:50 PM
The Thing 2: Lost in New York
Reposted by Matthew Highton
This is what they took from you
November 7, 2025 at 3:40 PM
This is what they took from you
Reposted by Matthew Highton
Steve Bannon take a little bit from bell end and a little bit from Skeletor and what do we have:
November 7, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Steve Bannon take a little bit from bell end and a little bit from Skeletor and what do we have:
There should be a hundred percent tax on people once they reach a billion otherwise every penny they make over it should be put into a huge vault and they’re forced to dive in Scrooge McDuck style.
Tesla CEO Elon Musk scored a resounding victory on Thursday as shareholders approved a pay package of as much as $878 billion over the next decade, endorsing his vision of morphing the EV maker into an AI and robotics juggernaut.
Tesla shareholders approve $878 billion pay plan for Elon Musk
Tesla CEO Elon Musk scored a resounding victory on Thursday as shareholders approved a pay package of as much as $878 billion over the next decade, endorsing his vision of morphing the EV maker into an AI and robotics juggernaut.
reut.rs
November 6, 2025 at 10:39 PM
There should be a hundred percent tax on people once they reach a billion otherwise every penny they make over it should be put into a huge vault and they’re forced to dive in Scrooge McDuck style.
Honestly Celeb Traitors was some of the best TV ever. Just perfect. What a tonic.
a man in a tuxedo and bow tie is sitting in a theater applauding .
ALT: a man in a tuxedo and bow tie is sitting in a theater applauding .
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Honestly Celeb Traitors was some of the best TV ever. Just perfect. What a tonic.
Everyone seeing Alan #Traitors
a man in a suit and tie is sitting at a desk in an office .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting at a desk in an office .
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Everyone seeing Alan #Traitors
Traitors right now.
a woman is sitting on a couch eating popcorn and watching tv .
ALT: a woman is sitting on a couch eating popcorn and watching tv .
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Traitors right now.
Joe Marler for live action Zangief.
November 6, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Joe Marler for live action Zangief.
Reposted by Matthew Highton
succubus - female demon that seduces men
incubus - male demon that seduces women
vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
incubus - male demon that seduces women
vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
November 6, 2025 at 3:38 PM
succubus - female demon that seduces men
incubus - male demon that seduces women
vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
incubus - male demon that seduces women
vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party
My horse was the happiest horse. People would say that. Great horse. Beautiful horse. Very happy.
November 6, 2025 at 7:28 PM
My horse was the happiest horse. People would say that. Great horse. Beautiful horse. Very happy.
There should be a government initiative where on December 1st all phones sound an alarm followed by Last Christmas played in full. The world looks on in horror. Nuclear Whamageddon. In the aftermath everyone just moves on with their lives.
November 6, 2025 at 10:58 AM
There should be a government initiative where on December 1st all phones sound an alarm followed by Last Christmas played in full. The world looks on in horror. Nuclear Whamageddon. In the aftermath everyone just moves on with their lives.
Rita, you’re in a cycle of repeat. You make your monsters grow, admittedly impressive, and the Power Rangers use their zords to match and defeat you. Have you thought instead of shrinking your monsters down and attacking the Rangers from the inside?
*pulls down screen
Fig a: the human butt…
*pulls down screen
Fig a: the human butt…
November 5, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Rita, you’re in a cycle of repeat. You make your monsters grow, admittedly impressive, and the Power Rangers use their zords to match and defeat you. Have you thought instead of shrinking your monsters down and attacking the Rangers from the inside?
*pulls down screen
Fig a: the human butt…
*pulls down screen
Fig a: the human butt…