Matthew K. Johnson
@matthewkjohnson.bsky.social
World’s biggest crybaby
Pinned
Behold the quintessential devil in these matters, Charlie Brown
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Charlie Brown
What's the frequency, Charlie Brown?
November 24, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Behold the quintessential devil in these matters, Charlie Brown
Dick Durbin and Tim Kaine were not going to allow this post-election Democratic goodwill continue on their watch
November 10, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Dick Durbin and Tim Kaine were not going to allow this post-election Democratic goodwill continue on their watch
Reposted by Matthew K. Johnson
Good morning. You're a writer even if you don't write today, tomorrow, this entire month. You're a writer because of the stories in your heart, even if you can't get them down for now. 💜
November 4, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Good morning. You're a writer even if you don't write today, tomorrow, this entire month. You're a writer because of the stories in your heart, even if you can't get them down for now. 💜
Reposted by Matthew K. Johnson
Reposted by Matthew K. Johnson
The only explanation I can imagine for the entirety of Cuomo’s campaign is that he has some kind of humiliation fetish. If true, I want to congratulate him on what I assume will be an epic nut tonight
November 5, 2025 at 2:47 AM
The only explanation I can imagine for the entirety of Cuomo’s campaign is that he has some kind of humiliation fetish. If true, I want to congratulate him on what I assume will be an epic nut tonight
So happy we have a hot mayor
November 5, 2025 at 3:17 AM
So happy we have a hot mayor
Reposted by Matthew K. Johnson
When you're gay anything can be clothes
October 27, 2025 at 3:14 AM
When you're gay anything can be clothes
"We've replaced the 'girl' we would normally use in sassy conversation with this fellow graying middle-aged homosexual with 'gran.' Lets see if the ancient crone notices..."
October 27, 2025 at 2:40 PM
"We've replaced the 'girl' we would normally use in sassy conversation with this fellow graying middle-aged homosexual with 'gran.' Lets see if the ancient crone notices..."
Reposted by Matthew K. Johnson
why are so many ferengi verified on twitter
September 23, 2025 at 10:58 PM
why are so many ferengi verified on twitter
What if we twerked to Orinoco Flow
September 15, 2025 at 3:01 AM
What if we twerked to Orinoco Flow
Being 42 and looking 32 (per other people, that’s not my # assessment) is perpetually feeling like you are on borrowed time, like you made a deal with a witch and you were supposed to do something for her but it slipped your mind and she’s going to come due with an ironic punishment any day now…
August 19, 2025 at 9:59 AM
Being 42 and looking 32 (per other people, that’s not my # assessment) is perpetually feeling like you are on borrowed time, like you made a deal with a witch and you were supposed to do something for her but it slipped your mind and she’s going to come due with an ironic punishment any day now…
I can't say I didn't see this current moment we're in coming, but I didn't anticipate that so many of us would dispassionately accept it like a battered spouse
August 17, 2025 at 10:47 PM
I can't say I didn't see this current moment we're in coming, but I didn't anticipate that so many of us would dispassionately accept it like a battered spouse
Aunt Gladys is at Pieces
August 17, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Aunt Gladys is at Pieces
Praying to the big butt fairy, for what is between me and him
August 16, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Praying to the big butt fairy, for what is between me and him
Reposted by Matthew K. Johnson
I will still always argue the best Star Trek’s are Deep Space Nine, Lower Decks and Star Trek novels.
August 6, 2025 at 7:53 AM
I will still always argue the best Star Trek’s are Deep Space Nine, Lower Decks and Star Trek novels.
The one thing we can all agree on about tonight’s episode of The Gilded Age is that the floral dress Gladys wore walking in the gardens with Hector is really gorgeous
August 4, 2025 at 2:47 AM
The one thing we can all agree on about tonight’s episode of The Gilded Age is that the floral dress Gladys wore walking in the gardens with Hector is really gorgeous
Thinking about everyone back home…
8.7 magnitude earthquake near Russia prompts tsunami alerts in Hawaii, Alaska and West Coast
Tsunami alerts were issued for Alaska and Hawaii on Tuesday after a major, 8.7 magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of Russia, according to officials.
abcnews.go.com
July 30, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Thinking about everyone back home…
Reposted by Matthew K. Johnson
holodeck disable parental restrictions
July 21, 2025 at 8:49 PM
holodeck disable parental restrictions
If you loved me you would buy me a Medcline pillow or alternatively figure out how to stop their targeted ads
July 23, 2025 at 1:20 PM
If you loved me you would buy me a Medcline pillow or alternatively figure out how to stop their targeted ads
I close my menu and look up at the DJ.
“Are you ready with your request?” he asks.
“Yes I think so,” I say. “Can you play some Kylie Minogue?”
The DJ stops writing and gives the slightest of frowns. “Is Dannii okay?” he asks, genially.
I sigh and shrug. “I guess it will have to be.”
“Are you ready with your request?” he asks.
“Yes I think so,” I say. “Can you play some Kylie Minogue?”
The DJ stops writing and gives the slightest of frowns. “Is Dannii okay?” he asks, genially.
I sigh and shrug. “I guess it will have to be.”
July 14, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I close my menu and look up at the DJ.
“Are you ready with your request?” he asks.
“Yes I think so,” I say. “Can you play some Kylie Minogue?”
The DJ stops writing and gives the slightest of frowns. “Is Dannii okay?” he asks, genially.
I sigh and shrug. “I guess it will have to be.”
“Are you ready with your request?” he asks.
“Yes I think so,” I say. “Can you play some Kylie Minogue?”
The DJ stops writing and gives the slightest of frowns. “Is Dannii okay?” he asks, genially.
I sigh and shrug. “I guess it will have to be.”
Reposted by Matthew K. Johnson
What's a bigger threat to the bear community, Ozempic or AI event posters?
July 10, 2025 at 4:35 PM
What's a bigger threat to the bear community, Ozempic or AI event posters?
While I'm not surprised that this administration opened an American concentration camp, I never imagined that such a place would be covered dispassionately by the news as though it were the opening of a new airport.
July 3, 2025 at 8:09 PM
While I'm not surprised that this administration opened an American concentration camp, I never imagined that such a place would be covered dispassionately by the news as though it were the opening of a new airport.
In New York City it's illegal for a landlord to cut heat for tenants. They must provide it because people need it to live. Landlords go to jail for cutting heat. By the same token, we should be able to jail members of congress for cutting medical coverage, another thing people need to live.
July 1, 2025 at 11:06 AM
In New York City it's illegal for a landlord to cut heat for tenants. They must provide it because people need it to live. Landlords go to jail for cutting heat. By the same token, we should be able to jail members of congress for cutting medical coverage, another thing people need to live.
So excited for poppers and party drugs to be half-price starting tomorrow
June 30, 2025 at 7:08 PM
So excited for poppers and party drugs to be half-price starting tomorrow
One of the hottest things a man can do is be Worf, son of Mogh
June 29, 2025 at 1:56 AM
One of the hottest things a man can do is be Worf, son of Mogh