Kyle Kruse
@martykruse.bsky.social
As straight as a roundabout
Me at rehearsal for a musical: “Ooh! That’s an interesting chord.”
Director: “Yeah, that chord is Bi-tonal.”
Me: “Ha! So is my Ex!”
Director: “Yeah, that chord is Bi-tonal.”
Me: “Ha! So is my Ex!”
November 10, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Me at rehearsal for a musical: “Ooh! That’s an interesting chord.”
Director: “Yeah, that chord is Bi-tonal.”
Me: “Ha! So is my Ex!”
Director: “Yeah, that chord is Bi-tonal.”
Me: “Ha! So is my Ex!”
On this timeline, Africans are sponsoring hungry Americans.
November 8, 2025 at 3:33 AM
On this timeline, Africans are sponsoring hungry Americans.
Okay, kitty cat, here’s my proposition: You stop crying after sunset, and in exchange, you stop waking me up in the middle of the night. Deal?
October 29, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Okay, kitty cat, here’s my proposition: You stop crying after sunset, and in exchange, you stop waking me up in the middle of the night. Deal?
TIL that Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon are not the same person
October 28, 2025 at 1:10 AM
TIL that Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon are not the same person
I just made myself a mocktail. It’s called Lemonade
October 26, 2025 at 2:08 AM
I just made myself a mocktail. It’s called Lemonade
I'm attending No Kings's event, “NO KINGS Erie, PA” - sign up now to join me! www.mobilize.us/nokings/even...
NO KINGS Erie, PA · No Kings
**In America, we don’t put up with would-be kings.**
Our peaceful movement is only getting bigger and stronger. “NO KINGS” is more than just a slogan—it’s the foundation our nation was built upon. Bo...
www.mobilize.us
October 17, 2025 at 12:05 PM
I'm attending No Kings's event, “NO KINGS Erie, PA” - sign up now to join me! www.mobilize.us/nokings/even...
Why doesn’t Trump just dissolve Congress? He doesn’t need them anyway.
October 13, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Why doesn’t Trump just dissolve Congress? He doesn’t need them anyway.
At the baseball game, the stadium started to play a song by Queen, and my friend said, “This song is about women who ride motorcycles. 🎶 Flat-Bottomed Girls you make the rockin’ world go round🎵”. And I said, “Don’t you mean Fat-Bottomed Girls?” And she had to Google it! 😆😂🤣
August 21, 2025 at 1:28 AM
At the baseball game, the stadium started to play a song by Queen, and my friend said, “This song is about women who ride motorcycles. 🎶 Flat-Bottomed Girls you make the rockin’ world go round🎵”. And I said, “Don’t you mean Fat-Bottomed Girls?” And she had to Google it! 😆😂🤣
Reposted by Kyle Kruse
Good morning. Men should be assigned a therapist as soon they turn 18
August 4, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Good morning. Men should be assigned a therapist as soon they turn 18
Okay, lesson learned. Don’t let babe try and order the pizza while he’s high.
July 26, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Okay, lesson learned. Don’t let babe try and order the pizza while he’s high.
Reposted by Kyle Kruse
‘The House Will Take A Short Recess,’ Declares Mike Johnson Dousing Capitol In Gasoline
‘The House Will Take A Short Recess,’ Declares Mike Johnson Dousing Capitol In Gasoline
WASHINGTON—Saying he hoped the break would keep his party focused on the America First agenda, Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) announced plans Thursday for the House of Representatives to take a short rec...
theonion.com
July 24, 2025 at 6:00 PM
‘The House Will Take A Short Recess,’ Declares Mike Johnson Dousing Capitol In Gasoline
Reposted by Kyle Kruse
This is definitely the best way to get people to stop talking about Epstein
July 12, 2025 at 3:52 PM
This is definitely the best way to get people to stop talking about Epstein
I wonder if Liver King has a tan line under his beard.
July 12, 2025 at 2:34 PM
I wonder if Liver King has a tan line under his beard.
Everyone’s sixth sense should be feeling your arteries clogging.
July 7, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Everyone’s sixth sense should be feeling your arteries clogging.
Being queer is so exhausting! I’ve been celebrating Pride all month! I can’t wait til July! The straights don’t know how easy they got it!
June 29, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Being queer is so exhausting! I’ve been celebrating Pride all month! I can’t wait til July! The straights don’t know how easy they got it!
You can find a lot of helpful stuff on the internet.
But “Living Your Best Life Carb-Free” is not on there.
But “Living Your Best Life Carb-Free” is not on there.
June 25, 2025 at 2:17 AM
You can find a lot of helpful stuff on the internet.
But “Living Your Best Life Carb-Free” is not on there.
But “Living Your Best Life Carb-Free” is not on there.
Good Lord! Even ChatGPT sounds more human than you!
June 24, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Good Lord! Even ChatGPT sounds more human than you!
Saw somebody’s upsetting Facebook comments. Now, I see them as the Grinch of Juneteenth.
June 20, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Saw somebody’s upsetting Facebook comments. Now, I see them as the Grinch of Juneteenth.
Yeah, I’m chronically online, but I’d much rather be chronically ___________
June 19, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Yeah, I’m chronically online, but I’d much rather be chronically ___________
Me: “What’s the key to staying together?”
Married Couple: “Separation.” “Opposite work shifts.”
Married Couple: “Separation.” “Opposite work shifts.”
June 16, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Me: “What’s the key to staying together?”
Married Couple: “Separation.” “Opposite work shifts.”
Married Couple: “Separation.” “Opposite work shifts.”
Nashville Airport PSA: “May I have your attention, please! There is a song in your heart, but you can’t play it because you’ve left your guitar. Please come to lost & found to pick it up!”
June 14, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Nashville Airport PSA: “May I have your attention, please! There is a song in your heart, but you can’t play it because you’ve left your guitar. Please come to lost & found to pick it up!”
Went shopping at Boot Barn for the first time. I had no idea it was this expensive to be heterosexual!
June 12, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Went shopping at Boot Barn for the first time. I had no idea it was this expensive to be heterosexual!
Just discovered that Sherlock Holmes father was a narcissist, so he always had to be observant to see what the mood of his father was. And that’s how he became a keen ovservationalist.
June 11, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Just discovered that Sherlock Holmes father was a narcissist, so he always had to be observant to see what the mood of his father was. And that’s how he became a keen ovservationalist.
Reposted by Kyle Kruse
The greta video
June 9, 2025 at 6:10 AM
The greta video
Reposted by Kyle Kruse
All we want is healthcare.
June 8, 2025 at 10:42 AM
All we want is healthcare.