Pinned
Hannah 🤮
@krahan31.bsky.social
· Dec 3
*on the phone*
Friend: wanna go hiking?
Me: no I hate hiking
Hiking secretly listening in on 3 way call: Wow…
Friend: wanna go hiking?
Me: no I hate hiking
Hiking secretly listening in on 3 way call: Wow…
Sometimes a man I just met will despise me and I can tell it’s because I did not run up to him and immediately put his penis in my mouth
November 25, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Sometimes a man I just met will despise me and I can tell it’s because I did not run up to him and immediately put his penis in my mouth
The thing with those obscure laws like “you can’t shoot a duck on Tuesdays in South Carolina” is you’re just gonna drive it underground
November 23, 2025 at 8:12 PM
The thing with those obscure laws like “you can’t shoot a duck on Tuesdays in South Carolina” is you’re just gonna drive it underground
I go to the doctor when I feel like being called insane for having physical symptoms
November 23, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I go to the doctor when I feel like being called insane for having physical symptoms
I was gonna do something tonight but I already did something today so that’s cancelled
November 21, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I was gonna do something tonight but I already did something today so that’s cancelled
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
Throwing back ozempic in a shot glass
July 22, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Throwing back ozempic in a shot glass
I would sleep, but then I wouldn’t be able to spend 9 hours fully concentrating on people who have scorned me
November 21, 2025 at 3:29 AM
I would sleep, but then I wouldn’t be able to spend 9 hours fully concentrating on people who have scorned me
Calling the Mormon church again to just make sure they’re really for sure about everything
November 20, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Calling the Mormon church again to just make sure they’re really for sure about everything
“take yourself out on a date” No. Cause then I’m gonna feel pressured to have sex with myself later cause I’m paying and then what if I don’t call ever again it’s just a whole mess
November 13, 2025 at 9:35 PM
“take yourself out on a date” No. Cause then I’m gonna feel pressured to have sex with myself later cause I’m paying and then what if I don’t call ever again it’s just a whole mess
We already have free healthcare just don’t pay your bill
November 9, 2025 at 10:56 PM
We already have free healthcare just don’t pay your bill
I got brain damage from having hamster dance stuck in my head too long and that’s why I’m happy now
November 9, 2025 at 6:53 PM
I got brain damage from having hamster dance stuck in my head too long and that’s why I’m happy now
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
You could never make I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry these days, not with Kevin James wasting away trapped in my crawlspace. Sometimes I drop a grape down there juuuust far enough he can't get it with his tongue
November 7, 2025 at 6:04 PM
You could never make I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry these days, not with Kevin James wasting away trapped in my crawlspace. Sometimes I drop a grape down there juuuust far enough he can't get it with his tongue
Incels hate women because we don’t like them which is like if poor people hated money
October 9, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Incels hate women because we don’t like them which is like if poor people hated money
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
Everyone’s mad at me for being cool and fun and using up the water supply
October 2, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Everyone’s mad at me for being cool and fun and using up the water supply
It’s ok with me if people wanna make news like I’m not hateful but please just don’t shove it down my throat
September 25, 2025 at 6:39 PM
It’s ok with me if people wanna make news like I’m not hateful but please just don’t shove it down my throat
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
My dad used to let me beat the shit out of him if I made honor roll
September 17, 2025 at 6:58 PM
My dad used to let me beat the shit out of him if I made honor roll
Men are so triggering I can’t imagine having one near my daughter
September 6, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Men are so triggering I can’t imagine having one near my daughter
Public nudity being illegal is so funny “oh no! A butt :(“
September 3, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Public nudity being illegal is so funny “oh no! A butt :(“
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
Hypothetically. If my dick and balls switched so it was like one ball two dicks
August 24, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Hypothetically. If my dick and balls switched so it was like one ball two dicks
Excuse me cunt judge lady can I please call the plaintiff ugly
August 23, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Excuse me cunt judge lady can I please call the plaintiff ugly
I’m selling $400 for $500 DM if interested
August 20, 2025 at 5:15 PM
I’m selling $400 for $500 DM if interested
Tag me in your sex tape coward
August 20, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Tag me in your sex tape coward
Yes this situation is awful! But not to worry, I have gotten very angry about the parts I cannot control so everything should be just fine
August 18, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Yes this situation is awful! But not to worry, I have gotten very angry about the parts I cannot control so everything should be just fine
Please don’t show me anything about elephants or whales they are so close to god and I’m too fragile
August 13, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Please don’t show me anything about elephants or whales they are so close to god and I’m too fragile
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
REPUBLICAN: omg a gang of youths rode bikes down the street and one did that thing where you go up on just the back tire
REPUBLICAN'S WIFE: wheelie
REPUBLICAN: i shit you not linda i thought i was done for
REPUBLICAN'S WIFE: wheelie
REPUBLICAN: i shit you not linda i thought i was done for
August 12, 2025 at 8:28 PM
REPUBLICAN: omg a gang of youths rode bikes down the street and one did that thing where you go up on just the back tire
REPUBLICAN'S WIFE: wheelie
REPUBLICAN: i shit you not linda i thought i was done for
REPUBLICAN'S WIFE: wheelie
REPUBLICAN: i shit you not linda i thought i was done for
Everyone everywhere thinks they can just name their streets Broadway like why am I in the dregs of New Jersey on some off brand Broadway
August 12, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Everyone everywhere thinks they can just name their streets Broadway like why am I in the dregs of New Jersey on some off brand Broadway