“GiRl ScOuT cOoKiEs aRe tOxIc” YOU’RE TOXIC

When someone texts “guess what?” and doesn’t immediately follow up with what

My favorite part of Mondays is that I have a fresh new set of videos to watch of my son on my lunch break

I’ve been doing 75 hard (there are no rules the last 75 days have just been hard)

Nobody talks enough about how it’s actually really difficult to reach out to people for support when you’re struggling as an adult because like…. I’m not gonna bother other adults with my silly little problems

Genuinely at my wit’s end today

If y'all didn't know, the current seasons of Love is Blind is set in Minneapolis and WHEW it's full of dudes that "haven't ever really thought about politics" and women who are like "gosh, he's just the sweetest guy but it's weird that he doesn't have opinions about George Floyd or abortion or..."

All these useless men on Love is Blind with "no strong feelings on politics" getting with women who give at least two or more fucks

I know all I write about is Love is Blind, but y'all, the rest of my life is so heavy right now that I just need my little stupid shows.

I fully back Lauren on the situation with her “ex” on LIB because men 100% always do that thing where they’re not interested in something serious until the girl leaves and then all of a sudden they’re texting and calling and wanting something serious. I don’t doubt for a second that’s what happened

“I really think feelings have started to develop for you when it comes to me” is a real sentence I just heard someone say on Love Is Blind Minneapolis

Love is not just blind, it’s also dumb

No worries, it autofilled

The really fun thing about taking a Spanish class in Southern California is that all of my classmates are literally fluent in Spanish lmao

Incessantly messaging my coworkers on Teams so I can hear the ding from down the hall

Just got the call. Fired. I was the DEI coordinator for Florida libraries. My job was to put gay subliminal messages in classic literature and the dictionary.

Listen I don’t mind breastfeeding. But I am getting TIRED of spending every break at work pumping/having to eat my lunch with one hand. I want to go for a walk 😭

It’s called a “meat cute”