Jonny
@jonnyw.bsky.social
Not a cat, but a real human working in End User Computing, navigating family life with my wife and 2 daughters. Opinions my own and not of my employer. He/him
@ledbydonkeys.org need to project "are we the baddies" gif on repeat onto the Houses of Parliament. Labour are fast tracking themselves into oblivion when they could be, y'know, trying to give us a bit of hope and positivity.
a man in a military uniform is asking are we the baddies .
ALT: a man in a military uniform is asking are we the baddies .
media.tenor.com
November 17, 2025 at 10:15 PM
@ledbydonkeys.org need to project "are we the baddies" gif on repeat onto the Houses of Parliament. Labour are fast tracking themselves into oblivion when they could be, y'know, trying to give us a bit of hope and positivity.
More of this, please
We should stop the boats because it's dangerous, and we should stop the scapegoating of immigrants because it's wrong and cruel.
Controlled migration is good for the country, helps build our economy and diversity strengthens our communities. (1/6) 🧵
Controlled migration is good for the country, helps build our economy and diversity strengthens our communities. (1/6) 🧵
November 17, 2025 at 12:02 PM
More of this, please
Reposted by Jonny
Six weeks since the PM said Britain faced a choice between decency or division and our bad, obviously, for not understanding that he was in fact Team Division
November 17, 2025 at 8:42 AM
Six weeks since the PM said Britain faced a choice between decency or division and our bad, obviously, for not understanding that he was in fact Team Division
Can't believe there's an army of 'patriots' out there with cherry pickers and they're *NOT* cleaning road signs covered in years of grime instead of putting up pound shop flags 🏴 🏴 🏴
November 16, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Can't believe there's an army of 'patriots' out there with cherry pickers and they're *NOT* cleaning road signs covered in years of grime instead of putting up pound shop flags 🏴 🏴 🏴
Oh, you're getting a new petrol car. Have you got your oil well drilled yet?"
How it sounds when people express shock that I'm getting an EV and haven't got a fancy home charger installed yet.
How it sounds when people express shock that I'm getting an EV and haven't got a fancy home charger installed yet.
November 16, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Oh, you're getting a new petrol car. Have you got your oil well drilled yet?"
How it sounds when people express shock that I'm getting an EV and haven't got a fancy home charger installed yet.
How it sounds when people express shock that I'm getting an EV and haven't got a fancy home charger installed yet.
Listening to my 9yo daughter playing on an ad-supported web app to practice times tables:
"3 x 4 equals... I DON'T WANT TO SEE PENNY LANCASTER, 54 IN A BIKINI... 5 x 7 equ... I DON'T CARE WHO RACHEL RILEY IS..."
"3 x 4 equals... I DON'T WANT TO SEE PENNY LANCASTER, 54 IN A BIKINI... 5 x 7 equ... I DON'T CARE WHO RACHEL RILEY IS..."
November 15, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Listening to my 9yo daughter playing on an ad-supported web app to practice times tables:
"3 x 4 equals... I DON'T WANT TO SEE PENNY LANCASTER, 54 IN A BIKINI... 5 x 7 equ... I DON'T CARE WHO RACHEL RILEY IS..."
"3 x 4 equals... I DON'T WANT TO SEE PENNY LANCASTER, 54 IN A BIKINI... 5 x 7 equ... I DON'T CARE WHO RACHEL RILEY IS..."
@maffrj.bsky.social I don't know you, but I'm sure you'd appreciate a good chester draws 👍
November 15, 2025 at 3:51 PM
@maffrj.bsky.social I don't know you, but I'm sure you'd appreciate a good chester draws 👍
Apropos of nothing in particular, our cat suffered from double cryptorchidism and isn't a genocidal Nazi.
November 13, 2025 at 9:46 AM
Apropos of nothing in particular, our cat suffered from double cryptorchidism and isn't a genocidal Nazi.
A printed map of the game area in the box. And a separate cassette with the theme music.
November 11, 2025 at 11:16 AM
A printed map of the game area in the box. And a separate cassette with the theme music.
Feel like there's a Zack Polanski Headline Generator crying out to be made
Zack Polanski Says He Would Try To Persuade Vladimir Putin To Give Up His Nuclear Weapons
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/zack-p...
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/zack-p...
Zack Polanski Says He Would Try To Persuade Vladimir Putin To Give Up His Nuclear Weapons
"It would be sociopathic behaviour to say you wouldn't negotiate with a president or a prime minister."
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk
November 9, 2025 at 11:03 AM
Feel like there's a Zack Polanski Headline Generator crying out to be made
I'd also like to confirm that I am *not* the one and only dominator, nor am I bigger, bolder, rougher or tougher.
I'd just like to confirm that I am *not* the one. Nor am I the only.
I must confirm that I am *not* the Urban Spaceman, baby.
November 5, 2025 at 12:00 AM
I'd also like to confirm that I am *not* the one and only dominator, nor am I bigger, bolder, rougher or tougher.
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of dunking their fingers in the sludge at the bottom of a Dyson Airblade would concur.
Single-use paper towels proven ‘more hygienic’ than air dryers
Electric hand dryers spread microbes much more than paper hand towels, according to NHS researchers from North Yorkshire. #nursing #infectioncontrol #infectionprevention #IPC #Leeds #handwashing
www.nursingtimes.net/infection-pr...
Electric hand dryers spread microbes much more than paper hand towels, according to NHS researchers from North Yorkshire. #nursing #infectioncontrol #infectionprevention #IPC #Leeds #handwashing
www.nursingtimes.net/infection-pr...
Single-use paper towels proven ‘more hygienic’ than air dryers
Electric hand dryers spread microbes much more than paper hand towels, according to NHS researchers from North Yorkshire.
www.nursingtimes.net
November 4, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of dunking their fingers in the sludge at the bottom of a Dyson Airblade would concur.
Nigel Farage would have us all think that we should be putting up Union Jack flags on lamp posts on our days off, but in reality, we just want a bit of time to sort out our bag for life cupboard
November 3, 2025 at 10:53 AM
Nigel Farage would have us all think that we should be putting up Union Jack flags on lamp posts on our days off, but in reality, we just want a bit of time to sort out our bag for life cupboard
Me before being a parent: "I would not let my child make rudimentary spelling and grammar mistakes without pointing them out"
Me, a parent: "Well as long as you communicate the gist of it, then who cares if you get a few spellings wrong"
Me, a parent: "Well as long as you communicate the gist of it, then who cares if you get a few spellings wrong"
November 2, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Me before being a parent: "I would not let my child make rudimentary spelling and grammar mistakes without pointing them out"
Me, a parent: "Well as long as you communicate the gist of it, then who cares if you get a few spellings wrong"
Me, a parent: "Well as long as you communicate the gist of it, then who cares if you get a few spellings wrong"
Yesterday I discovered that my mum only got swimming lessons for me and not my brother. Not sure what to do with that information.
October 25, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Yesterday I discovered that my mum only got swimming lessons for me and not my brother. Not sure what to do with that information.
Youngest is off sick today and I just mentioned I was making lunch.
"Good luck with that!" she shouted.
"Why?"
"Because I'm VERY picky"
"Good luck with that!" she shouted.
"Why?"
"Because I'm VERY picky"
October 22, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Youngest is off sick today and I just mentioned I was making lunch.
"Good luck with that!" she shouted.
"Why?"
"Because I'm VERY picky"
"Good luck with that!" she shouted.
"Why?"
"Because I'm VERY picky"
Loving all the haunted Ring notifications coming through several hours after the event
October 20, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Loving all the haunted Ring notifications coming through several hours after the event
Reposted by Jonny
![1
Nurse:
It’s become a real problem in this area
2
Nurse:
We’ve seen the whole community lost to addiction
3
Show a building sign posted:
Westminster ‘X’ Addiction Clinic
With various Westminster people or looking at their phones outside it
Nurse:
Ministers, Spads, Researchers…
4
Nurse:
Most mornings we’ll get a call about someone acting strangely
[Nurse on phone taking a call]
Ok - we’ll be right over
5
Nurse:
We just have a gentle chat
[Nurses approach a minister –Robert Jenrick? - standing in the Palace of Westminster
Minister:
I understand your concerns…
6
Nurse:
Are you OK love?
Minister:
Yes I’m just hearing legitimate concerns from real voters
7
Nurse:
That’s a robot, a Nazi and a poorly-disguised Russian
[Show that the people he is talking to are precisely these characters]
Nurse 2:
Give us your phone, love
8
Nurse:
At the clinic we put them in a Grass-Touching Pod, with a real voter to talk to
[We see them back at the clinic, holding the minister's head and pushing him into a glass isolation booth with a grass floor. And it is a baffled looking woman, on a chair, ready to talk to him.]
9
Minister:
YOU MUST BE WORRIED ABOUT THE COMING CIVIL WAR
[woman looks baffled]
10
woman:
I just want a bus service
Minister:
LOOK AT MY FLAG
[produces a St George's flag]
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreicahofq6s4xow7vowj7dx6odw6ejdwr4kwcmzta7qwi4hg2nvywji@jpeg)
I'm "I sent my skinny fit jeans to the charity shop because they make my knees hurt" years old
October 16, 2025 at 5:01 PM
I'm "I sent my skinny fit jeans to the charity shop because they make my knees hurt" years old
Just got back off the school run and, my torso is the perfect temperature but my arms are a bit hot...
Is it gilet time?
Is it gilet time?
October 15, 2025 at 8:32 AM
Just got back off the school run and, my torso is the perfect temperature but my arms are a bit hot...
Is it gilet time?
Is it gilet time?
Each time a u turn comes, it discredits the "why we absolutely HAVE to do this" justifications provided by the ministers a little bit more. I'm all for changing plan if the facts change, but if every policy just ends up being "actually we were just testing the waters" then people will stop listening
'Damage has been done': Farming community responds to rumours of an inheritance tax U-turn
'Damage has been done': Farming community responds to rumours of an inheritance tax U-turn
The budget may still be more than six weeks away, but rumours of U-turns and changes are already in full swing.
news.sky.com
October 12, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Each time a u turn comes, it discredits the "why we absolutely HAVE to do this" justifications provided by the ministers a little bit more. I'm all for changing plan if the facts change, but if every policy just ends up being "actually we were just testing the waters" then people will stop listening
Me, having trained for 16 weeks for Yorkshire marathon: "Feeling fittest I've ever been! 💪 "
My 9yo daughter, grabbing my arm: "Daddy, you feel like jelly"
Still some way to go then 🤦♂️
My 9yo daughter, grabbing my arm: "Daddy, you feel like jelly"
Still some way to go then 🤦♂️
October 12, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Me, having trained for 16 weeks for Yorkshire marathon: "Feeling fittest I've ever been! 💪 "
My 9yo daughter, grabbing my arm: "Daddy, you feel like jelly"
Still some way to go then 🤦♂️
My 9yo daughter, grabbing my arm: "Daddy, you feel like jelly"
Still some way to go then 🤦♂️
In honour of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand.
Boot device not found
Boot device not found
In honour of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand.
rm -rf ~/
rm -rf ~/
"The chancellor approved it"
October 12, 2025 at 11:40 AM
In honour of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand.
Boot device not found
Boot device not found
People have a lot of bad things to say about Laurence Fox but he's given me some great dinner ideas over the years
October 9, 2025 at 4:48 PM
People have a lot of bad things to say about Laurence Fox but he's given me some great dinner ideas over the years
If anyone knows the secret sauce that determines if my kids need dragging out of bed, to get dressed and to eat breakfast vs today where they got up, got dressed and were sitting at the table eating breakfast when I got downstairs then I'd be eternally grateful, thanks🙏
October 9, 2025 at 10:51 AM
If anyone knows the secret sauce that determines if my kids need dragging out of bed, to get dressed and to eat breakfast vs today where they got up, got dressed and were sitting at the table eating breakfast when I got downstairs then I'd be eternally grateful, thanks🙏