Joanne Harris
@joannechocolat.bsky.social
Writer. Yes, that one.
(she/they)
(she/they)
Note to self: when feeding pieces of carrot to the neighbour's pony, remember *not* to wear the orange gloves...
November 25, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Note to self: when feeding pieces of carrot to the neighbour's pony, remember *not* to wear the orange gloves...
Reposted by Joanne Harris
This is just how we sing it now.
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
Not really my heart
Just somebody's heart
This year
If the cops should appear
Please tell them that you don't know me
I gave you my heart
Not really my heart
Just somebody's heart
This year
If the cops should appear
Please tell them that you don't know me
November 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
This is just how we sing it now.
Reposted by Joanne Harris
#WorkInPublishingWeek Ever met a Sensitivity Reader? Does the idea make you shudder, from an indoctrination from legacy UK press/media? Read my article for the The Society of Authors setting the records straight, once and for all: lnkd.in/eRMgqE72
LinkedIn
This link will take you to a page that’s not on LinkedIn
lnkd.in
November 25, 2025 at 3:18 PM
#WorkInPublishingWeek Ever met a Sensitivity Reader? Does the idea make you shudder, from an indoctrination from legacy UK press/media? Read my article for the The Society of Authors setting the records straight, once and for all: lnkd.in/eRMgqE72
Unsolicited writing advice, no. 33788:
Don't front-load your work with unnecessary backstory and intricate worldbuilding. Give your readers only as much as they need to engage with the plot and characters, and let them discover the rest as and when they need it...
Don't front-load your work with unnecessary backstory and intricate worldbuilding. Give your readers only as much as they need to engage with the plot and characters, and let them discover the rest as and when they need it...
November 25, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Unsolicited writing advice, no. 33788:
Don't front-load your work with unnecessary backstory and intricate worldbuilding. Give your readers only as much as they need to engage with the plot and characters, and let them discover the rest as and when they need it...
Don't front-load your work with unnecessary backstory and intricate worldbuilding. Give your readers only as much as they need to engage with the plot and characters, and let them discover the rest as and when they need it...
And this morning the Shed is a pale image of a shed, outlined in frost, on the window of another shed, deep in the snows of the frozen north…
November 25, 2025 at 8:29 AM
And this morning the Shed is a pale image of a shed, outlined in frost, on the window of another shed, deep in the snows of the frozen north…
Reposted by Joanne Harris
Horror stories of a ‘feminised workplace’ mask the real crisis in male identity | Finn Mackay
Horror stories of a ‘feminised workplace’ mask the real crisis in male identity | Finn Mackay
Stereotypes that centre mens’ worth in their work are strangling sensible debate, and letting down women too, says author Finn Mackay
www.theguardian.com
November 24, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Horror stories of a ‘feminised workplace’ mask the real crisis in male identity | Finn Mackay
That doesn't mean giving up wanting to be published. There are a lot more options now than there were 30 years ago. They all require work and commitment, but they're available to anyone, and they give the individual a lot more control over the publishing process.
November 24, 2025 at 10:59 AM
That doesn't mean giving up wanting to be published. There are a lot more options now than there were 30 years ago. They all require work and commitment, but they're available to anyone, and they give the individual a lot more control over the publishing process.
Unsolicited writing advice, no. 6:
The trad publishing industry has many flaws. But if you want to be part of it, you have to understand it. That means: gatekeeping; filling in forms; accepting editorial advice. Don't blame the system if you don't get exactly what you want. Embrace it, or step away.
The trad publishing industry has many flaws. But if you want to be part of it, you have to understand it. That means: gatekeeping; filling in forms; accepting editorial advice. Don't blame the system if you don't get exactly what you want. Embrace it, or step away.
November 24, 2025 at 10:56 AM
Unsolicited writing advice, no. 6:
The trad publishing industry has many flaws. But if you want to be part of it, you have to understand it. That means: gatekeeping; filling in forms; accepting editorial advice. Don't blame the system if you don't get exactly what you want. Embrace it, or step away.
The trad publishing industry has many flaws. But if you want to be part of it, you have to understand it. That means: gatekeeping; filling in forms; accepting editorial advice. Don't blame the system if you don't get exactly what you want. Embrace it, or step away.
Reposted by Joanne Harris
And this morning the Shed is a wanderer among the fields and hedges; picking mushrooms; gathering sloes; skimming stones on the water…
November 24, 2025 at 8:16 AM
And this morning the Shed is a wanderer among the fields and hedges; picking mushrooms; gathering sloes; skimming stones on the water…
Reposted by Joanne Harris
Reposted by Joanne Harris
Kau'i: It's Ka-ooh-ee.
Teacher: I'll call you Katherine.
Kau'i: And I'll call you Motherfucker, motherfucker.
Teacher: I'll call you Katherine.
Kau'i: And I'll call you Motherfucker, motherfucker.
"I'm half Japanese, half white, but both sides lived in Hawai’i for 3 plus generations. My name is Kau’i. It looks daunting but it’s just Ka-ooh-ee."
But when Ms White read out her name, she tripped up on the name and Kau’i corrected her pronunciation. Ms White said: "I'll call you Katherine".
But when Ms White read out her name, she tripped up on the name and Kau’i corrected her pronunciation. Ms White said: "I'll call you Katherine".
November 23, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Kau'i: It's Ka-ooh-ee.
Teacher: I'll call you Katherine.
Kau'i: And I'll call you Motherfucker, motherfucker.
Teacher: I'll call you Katherine.
Kau'i: And I'll call you Motherfucker, motherfucker.
I wrote a little story about the dangers of letting wasps live rent-free inside your head. Buy me a cup of tea if the spirit moves you, or just read it here for free... ko-fi.com/post/The-Was...
The Wasp King
Joanne Harris and the Storytime Band published a post on Ko-fi
ko-fi.com
November 23, 2025 at 4:22 PM
I wrote a little story about the dangers of letting wasps live rent-free inside your head. Buy me a cup of tea if the spirit moves you, or just read it here for free... ko-fi.com/post/The-Was...
Reposted by Joanne Harris
Scary stuff - and well done @theguardian.com for exposing such a sordid, sad, dangerous business.
Influencers made millions pushing ‘wild’ births – now the Free Birth Society is linked to baby deaths around the world
Influencers made millions pushing ‘wild’ births – now the Free Birth Society is linked to baby deaths around the world
A year-long investigation reveals how mothers lost children after being radicalised by uplifting podcast tales of births without midwives or doctors
As Esau Lopez was asphyxiated for the first 17 minutes of his life on Earth, the atmosphere in the room remained serene, even ecstatic. Acoustic music crooned from a speaker in a modest two-bedroom apartment in a suburb of Pennsylvania. “You are a queen,” murmured one of three friends in the room.
Only Esau’s mother, Gabrielle Lopez, felt something was wrong. She was pushing hard, but her son would not be born. “Can you help [him] out?” she asked, as Esau crowned. “Baby is coming,” the friend replied. Four minutes later, Lopez asked again, “Can you grab [him]?” Another friend murmured, “Baby is safe.” Six minutes passed. Again, Lopez asked, “Can you grab [him]?” Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
November 23, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Scary stuff - and well done @theguardian.com for exposing such a sordid, sad, dangerous business.
Reposted by Joanne Harris
This is a simply wonderful piece of writing.
I flew to Canada this week to go to a Paul McCartney concert and I wrote about it here:
open.substack.com/pub/naomiald...
open.substack.com/pub/naomiald...
going through hell, keeping going
on art, grief, and the emotional heroism of just bloody keeping on making your work
open.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 10:42 AM
This is a simply wonderful piece of writing.
Unsolicited writing advice, no. 26800:
Querying is a slow, anxious process. Don't make it worse by stopping work. Start something new. Have fun with it. At worst, having a new project will take the sting out of rejection. At best, you'll have a second half-finished book when your first is accepted.
Querying is a slow, anxious process. Don't make it worse by stopping work. Start something new. Have fun with it. At worst, having a new project will take the sting out of rejection. At best, you'll have a second half-finished book when your first is accepted.
November 23, 2025 at 10:14 AM
Unsolicited writing advice, no. 26800:
Querying is a slow, anxious process. Don't make it worse by stopping work. Start something new. Have fun with it. At worst, having a new project will take the sting out of rejection. At best, you'll have a second half-finished book when your first is accepted.
Querying is a slow, anxious process. Don't make it worse by stopping work. Start something new. Have fun with it. At worst, having a new project will take the sting out of rejection. At best, you'll have a second half-finished book when your first is accepted.
And this morning the Shed is a home of driftwood and shells at the edge of a pebble beach. The only sound, that of the sea. Overhead, the circling of gulls in the candyfloss sky.
November 23, 2025 at 9:03 AM
And this morning the Shed is a home of driftwood and shells at the edge of a pebble beach. The only sound, that of the sea. Overhead, the circling of gulls in the candyfloss sky.
Reposted by Joanne Harris
Excellent speech by @charliejane.bsky.social about imagination in service to society. Great stuff.
buttondown.com/charliejane/...
buttondown.com/charliejane/...
November 22, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Excellent speech by @charliejane.bsky.social about imagination in service to society. Great stuff.
buttondown.com/charliejane/...
buttondown.com/charliejane/...
Reposted by Joanne Harris
The first Northland Small appeared in the frost. They came ahead to tell of their coming. Next weekend there would be feasting and merriment.
A Yule collection of creatures like never seen!
A Yule collection of creatures like never seen!
November 22, 2025 at 4:59 PM
The first Northland Small appeared in the frost. They came ahead to tell of their coming. Next weekend there would be feasting and merriment.
A Yule collection of creatures like never seen!
A Yule collection of creatures like never seen!
Reposted by Joanne Harris
Over on Whatever today I confirm that, indeed, all those emails authors and other writers are getting promising access to readers and book clubs and such are 100% scams, share all the scam emails I got just this morning, and note why they are all awful and bad:
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/22/y...
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/22/y...
Yes, All Those Author Services and Book Club Emails Are Fake, and No, Don’t Send Them Any Money
If you’re an author, or honestly if you just happen to be standing near an author these days, then you have probably seen a flood of emails in the past couple of months promising you that who…
whatever.scalzi.com
November 22, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Over on Whatever today I confirm that, indeed, all those emails authors and other writers are getting promising access to readers and book clubs and such are 100% scams, share all the scam emails I got just this morning, and note why they are all awful and bad:
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/22/y...
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/22/y...
Reposted by Joanne Harris
Yes, I know you're used to seeing skin like mine, basic burnt umber or darkish ochre, but there is a multitude of shades out there.
Adjust your descriptions accordingly.
And for the love of Zeus, don't use food comparisons. Pretty please.
Adjust your descriptions accordingly.
And for the love of Zeus, don't use food comparisons. Pretty please.
November 22, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Yes, I know you're used to seeing skin like mine, basic burnt umber or darkish ochre, but there is a multitude of shades out there.
Adjust your descriptions accordingly.
And for the love of Zeus, don't use food comparisons. Pretty please.
Adjust your descriptions accordingly.
And for the love of Zeus, don't use food comparisons. Pretty please.
In Tesco’s this afternoon: an elderly Polish man at the self-checkout, trying to buy a pint of milk and a white radish. There is no picture for the radish on the machine. The assistant doesn’t know what it is. She asks a colleague: “It’s a white radish.” There is no entry for it on the machine.
November 22, 2025 at 1:28 PM
In Tesco’s this afternoon: an elderly Polish man at the self-checkout, trying to buy a pint of milk and a white radish. There is no picture for the radish on the machine. The assistant doesn’t know what it is. She asks a colleague: “It’s a white radish.” There is no entry for it on the machine.
Yesterday’s recording session in the front room…
November 22, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Yesterday’s recording session in the front room…
Unsolicited writing advice: no. 1026:
POV is a camera. You get to decide what to point it at; how close to zoom in; when to cut; how many cameras to use. Make sure what you show makes sense; feels satisfying to the reader.
POV is a camera. You get to decide what to point it at; how close to zoom in; when to cut; how many cameras to use. Make sure what you show makes sense; feels satisfying to the reader.
November 22, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Unsolicited writing advice: no. 1026:
POV is a camera. You get to decide what to point it at; how close to zoom in; when to cut; how many cameras to use. Make sure what you show makes sense; feels satisfying to the reader.
POV is a camera. You get to decide what to point it at; how close to zoom in; when to cut; how many cameras to use. Make sure what you show makes sense; feels satisfying to the reader.
And this morning the Shed is a roadside inn; warm hearth and golden windows..,
November 22, 2025 at 8:25 AM
And this morning the Shed is a roadside inn; warm hearth and golden windows..,