jlestos
@jlestos.bsky.social
Reposted by jlestos
Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate the affordability and that the cost hasn't inflated, but I wish Aldi didn't make you buy a 25¢ cart every single time, I am running out of garage and bakyard space
November 24, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate the affordability and that the cost hasn't inflated, but I wish Aldi didn't make you buy a 25¢ cart every single time, I am running out of garage and bakyard space
Wish I loved anything as much as my 5 year old loves waking me up at 3:34 to confirm that yesterday was Saturday
November 23, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Wish I loved anything as much as my 5 year old loves waking me up at 3:34 to confirm that yesterday was Saturday
Reposted by jlestos
I’ve realized that I’m only capable of being five things to women
-Like a brother
-second ex-husband
-spellcheck
-source of knowledge about the short history of the baconator
-guy who’s got their nose.
-Like a brother
-second ex-husband
-spellcheck
-source of knowledge about the short history of the baconator
-guy who’s got their nose.
October 21, 2025 at 1:19 PM
I’ve realized that I’m only capable of being five things to women
-Like a brother
-second ex-husband
-spellcheck
-source of knowledge about the short history of the baconator
-guy who’s got their nose.
-Like a brother
-second ex-husband
-spellcheck
-source of knowledge about the short history of the baconator
-guy who’s got their nose.
Reposted by jlestos
Me: *stands on one leg*
My flamenco teacher: No.
My flamenco teacher: No.
March 29, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Me: *stands on one leg*
My flamenco teacher: No.
My flamenco teacher: No.
Reposted by jlestos
Cashier: can I see your ID please
Me: uh *raises phone to show flashlight is on for no reason*
Cashier: nevermind man you’re good
Me: uh *raises phone to show flashlight is on for no reason*
Cashier: nevermind man you’re good
March 28, 2025 at 5:41 AM
Cashier: can I see your ID please
Me: uh *raises phone to show flashlight is on for no reason*
Cashier: nevermind man you’re good
Me: uh *raises phone to show flashlight is on for no reason*
Cashier: nevermind man you’re good
Reposted by jlestos
all i’m saying is that barbra streisand and beyonce might be the same person: thread
March 25, 2025 at 9:11 PM
all i’m saying is that barbra streisand and beyonce might be the same person: thread
Reposted by jlestos
when i grow up i want to stop spilling things on my clothes
March 24, 2025 at 7:50 PM
when i grow up i want to stop spilling things on my clothes
Reposted by jlestos
slamming doors is for cowards. challenge me to a duel at high noon or write a strongly worded letter with a quill ffs
March 9, 2025 at 7:22 PM
slamming doors is for cowards. challenge me to a duel at high noon or write a strongly worded letter with a quill ffs
Reposted by jlestos
cardi b giving angela lansbury: thread
March 4, 2025 at 12:08 AM
cardi b giving angela lansbury: thread
Reposted by jlestos
Get a real job?
What does that mean?
One of the jobs that Richard Scarry gave an animal in Busytown?
None of us has those jobs. You aren't a butcher, you read emails and call yourself a Wizard of Light Bulb Moments
What does that mean?
One of the jobs that Richard Scarry gave an animal in Busytown?
None of us has those jobs. You aren't a butcher, you read emails and call yourself a Wizard of Light Bulb Moments
February 26, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Get a real job?
What does that mean?
One of the jobs that Richard Scarry gave an animal in Busytown?
None of us has those jobs. You aren't a butcher, you read emails and call yourself a Wizard of Light Bulb Moments
What does that mean?
One of the jobs that Richard Scarry gave an animal in Busytown?
None of us has those jobs. You aren't a butcher, you read emails and call yourself a Wizard of Light Bulb Moments
Reposted by jlestos
Men are great bc when you have a serious concern for your livelihood they’re like “ok”
February 21, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Men are great bc when you have a serious concern for your livelihood they’re like “ok”
Reposted by jlestos
it's not fair that I should have to visit someone's profile page to mute them. I have already seen enough.
January 29, 2025 at 12:51 AM
it's not fair that I should have to visit someone's profile page to mute them. I have already seen enough.
Reposted by jlestos
I mean, I know it isn’t ideal, but I don’t know another way to catch a wild goose.
January 28, 2025 at 9:11 PM
I mean, I know it isn’t ideal, but I don’t know another way to catch a wild goose.
Reposted by jlestos
I really need a Marvel or DC movie where the superheroes sit down and knit and enjoy a crisp LaCroix while a menagerie of villains destroys each other fighting for their own self-interest and also leopards eat their faces, that would be a nice touch
January 29, 2025 at 12:56 AM
I really need a Marvel or DC movie where the superheroes sit down and knit and enjoy a crisp LaCroix while a menagerie of villains destroys each other fighting for their own self-interest and also leopards eat their faces, that would be a nice touch
Reposted by jlestos
Only suckers join the Lollipop Guild
January 26, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Only suckers join the Lollipop Guild
Reposted by jlestos
miss piggy as the golden girls: thread
January 28, 2025 at 10:07 PM
miss piggy as the golden girls: thread
Reposted by jlestos
a flash mob but with meerkats
January 23, 2025 at 4:54 PM
a flash mob but with meerkats
Reposted by jlestos
the muppets on the cover of national geographic: thread
January 22, 2025 at 10:26 PM
the muppets on the cover of national geographic: thread