The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth
@jesusandteeth.bsky.social
Satire and Sarcastic, my quirky characters go on adventures in replies and posts. Please dont take anything here seriously. Autistic af
Not selling anything.
Here for laughs! (FYI: Images are AI generated for those who wish not to follow AI accounts)
Not selling anything.
Here for laughs! (FYI: Images are AI generated for those who wish not to follow AI accounts)
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New York does not miss. The bleach did it for me. 😭
September 2, 2025 at 11:57 AM
New York does not miss. The bleach did it for me. 😭
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Put on a weighted blanket and immediately understood how mashed potatoes feel when the gravy hits.
August 3, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Put on a weighted blanket and immediately understood how mashed potatoes feel when the gravy hits.
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From coast to coast, city streets to small town squares, you showed up. And it mattered.
Honored to announce: 12.1 million in attendance.
Honored to announce: 12.1 million in attendance.
June 15, 2025 at 12:34 PM
From coast to coast, city streets to small town squares, you showed up. And it mattered.
Honored to announce: 12.1 million in attendance.
Honored to announce: 12.1 million in attendance.
Reposted by The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth
Reposted by The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth
BORDER PATROL: “Are you an 🇺🇸 citizen?”
🔥 NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN: “FIRST ONES. We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us… what are you? You’re not first born. You’re not from this f*ckin’ land. Punk-as* b*tches.”
🔥 NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN: “FIRST ONES. We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us… what are you? You’re not first born. You’re not from this f*ckin’ land. Punk-as* b*tches.”
June 14, 2025 at 12:57 PM
BORDER PATROL: “Are you an 🇺🇸 citizen?”
🔥 NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN: “FIRST ONES. We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us… what are you? You’re not first born. You’re not from this f*ckin’ land. Punk-as* b*tches.”
🔥 NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN: “FIRST ONES. We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us… what are you? You’re not first born. You’re not from this f*ckin’ land. Punk-as* b*tches.”
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via Benedicto.Uribe on TikTok
June 14, 2025 at 8:47 PM
via Benedicto.Uribe on TikTok
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Obama is the best of ‘em!
June 14, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Obama is the best of ‘em!
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Dallas turned out with at least 10,000 marching for #NoKingsDay
June 14, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Dallas turned out with at least 10,000 marching for #NoKingsDay
No Kings Protest- Lenexa, KS
June 14, 2025 at 9:57 PM
No Kings Protest- Lenexa, KS
No kings protests across America
June 14, 2025 at 9:56 PM
No kings protests across America
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Reminder that I AM LATINA AND PROUD. I am the product of immigration - my grandmother was undocumented and entered the country from Mexico as a baby. My mother was a fierce, gorgeous Latina woman of Mexican and Spanish descent.
June 12, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Reminder that I AM LATINA AND PROUD. I am the product of immigration - my grandmother was undocumented and entered the country from Mexico as a baby. My mother was a fierce, gorgeous Latina woman of Mexican and Spanish descent.
I gotta watch what I saw about chewing ice for my anemia 😂 I exclaimed loudly to my partner, in public- “GOD I LOVE ICE!” After crunching some, and the people next to me snapped their heads around and looked at me in horror. It finally clicked and I said “THE FROZEN WATER! NOT THAT ICE!” 🥴😂😂😂
June 10, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I gotta watch what I saw about chewing ice for my anemia 😂 I exclaimed loudly to my partner, in public- “GOD I LOVE ICE!” After crunching some, and the people next to me snapped their heads around and looked at me in horror. It finally clicked and I said “THE FROZEN WATER! NOT THAT ICE!” 🥴😂😂😂
Reposted by The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth
Reposted by The Adventures of Jesus and Teeth
Kamala Harris on “the big, beautiful bill:”
“It’s an agenda...a narrow, self-serving vision of America...where they punish truth tellers, favor loyalists, profit from their power, and leave everyone else to fend for themselves.”
Nailed it!
🔥
“It’s an agenda...a narrow, self-serving vision of America...where they punish truth tellers, favor loyalists, profit from their power, and leave everyone else to fend for themselves.”
Nailed it!
🔥
May 28, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Kamala Harris on “the big, beautiful bill:”
“It’s an agenda...a narrow, self-serving vision of America...where they punish truth tellers, favor loyalists, profit from their power, and leave everyone else to fend for themselves.”
Nailed it!
🔥
“It’s an agenda...a narrow, self-serving vision of America...where they punish truth tellers, favor loyalists, profit from their power, and leave everyone else to fend for themselves.”
Nailed it!
🔥
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Designed and crafted a paper moth lamp!
May 26, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Designed and crafted a paper moth lamp!
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Today, we honor the service members who gave their lives for this country. We’ll be posting less so our team, and all of you, can take time to reflect, remember, and spend the day with loved ones. We’ll only post if truly needed.
May 26, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Today, we honor the service members who gave their lives for this country. We’ll be posting less so our team, and all of you, can take time to reflect, remember, and spend the day with loved ones. We’ll only post if truly needed.
We should call Pope Leo XIV “Al Ca-pope”
May 8, 2025 at 5:47 PM
We should call Pope Leo XIV “Al Ca-pope”
We should call Pope Leo XIV “Al Ca-pope
May 8, 2025 at 5:47 PM
We should call Pope Leo XIV “Al Ca-pope
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The rats have chosen a new pope.
May 8, 2025 at 4:26 PM
The rats have chosen a new pope.
Robert Prevost, first American Pope! He’s taking the name Leo XIV. From Chicago!
May 8, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Robert Prevost, first American Pope! He’s taking the name Leo XIV. From Chicago!
From now on I’m gonna make new friends by saying “can our mental illnesses play together?”
May 7, 2025 at 10:23 PM
From now on I’m gonna make new friends by saying “can our mental illnesses play together?”
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I’m pretty sure we’ve reached a moment where we should be throwing all the tea in the harbor🧐.
May 6, 2025 at 2:01 PM
I’m pretty sure we’ve reached a moment where we should be throwing all the tea in the harbor🧐.
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It’s an ongoing class warfare. Certain elites are entitled to privileges, hyper pleasuring meanwhile, poor and working class people need to do the cutting back.
May 4, 2025 at 5:13 PM
It’s an ongoing class warfare. Certain elites are entitled to privileges, hyper pleasuring meanwhile, poor and working class people need to do the cutting back.
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Act your wage.
May 2, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Act your wage.